Thursday, December 3, 2009

"Give Me a Place to Stand and I will Move the World" -Archimedes

There's A Place I Know

There’s place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen

There’s a song I sing
It beckons me day by day
To just let go
It carries me far away

Where the wind blows free
Across mountains high
If you stretch yourself
You breathe in the sky

There’s a feeling I know
From deep within
This well does spring
And wherever I go
This love shines on everything

No hatred greed or jealously
No pride
No death
In this place you are free

There’s a place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen

Ganga Fondan, 1998

This song literally lifted my life after Narayan left. I couldn’t understand why I was destined to love a man so much only to lose him after a few short years. What was all of this love in my heart supposed to do now? It’s taken me years to realize that the Love is not inside of us but flows through us. This song is an answer from the Universe to guide me to feel and explore my connection to Love itself. We are always immersed in That and cannot be separated. Of course the battle with the mind says otherwise. Many times the mind insists to dwell in the pain of loss and defeat. It urges us to become cynical and settle for scraps of happiness because it only knows reality to be something in its memory bank. Under the guidance of a great Teacher who ever reminds us how the mind tricks and cajoles, his tools for “thinking the thoughts you want to think” keep me standing tall and poised in my greater Vision . The songs keep coming and my heart keeps opening.

When I fell in love with Narayan, I knew in my very blood and bones that our connection was beyond any I had ever felt in my life. His eyes, his words, his voice, his mannerisms all felt so strangely familliar. He always seemed to know how to challenge me, how to show his affection, how to include me in his thoughts and feelings. He was very much his own man even through all the chaotic treatments he endured in the medical system over the years. His very presence would always send soft chills up and down my spine. I believe that through him the Universe opened my heart so profoundly wide and infinitely, it felt so natural to know that I would love this soul mate for now and all eternity. We had "4E U Me" (for eternity you and me) engraved in our wedding rings. As the possibility of his leaving this earth grew, we had to let go of everything that was trivial and trust Love itself.

The excruciating pain lingers when we know that our loved one will never walk through the front door again, cuddle us in our bed or sing love ballads in an evening of candlelight and romance. Finding no solace in the songs on the radio which sounded shallow and contractual, the music within me came to answer the ache. I could not find peace in anything other than meditation and singing. The meditational tools that my Teacher gave me calmed my mind into believing that higher laws in the Universe are still holding my love and honoring it. Songs like "There's A Place I Know" lifted me through days, weeks, months and years of searching. Over time, my heart sang this song at weddings, celebrations of life and also funerals. This song addresses the ache we feel to know our relationship with love itself and to Vision the perfection of that unity. During times when I thought I was going to go mad with grief, I was reminded of these words from my Teacher in "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World":

"Mahavakyam Meditation will be like peeling away layer after layer of an onion. While you are peeling the onion, your eyes will water. When all the layers are peeled away, you will find your true Self at the Center and you will realize the No-Thing out of which the whole Universe has emerged. Then you too can say, "I and the Universe are One," "I AM That I Am," "I am the Cause and the substance"."(P 105)

Ten years ago, while sitting on the livingroom floor with Narayan's guitar in my lap, I would have not been able to relate to the above quote. I did not realize that what my heart most wanted to feel was the reconnection with That which Love is. I only knew this feeling was flooding my being and I didn't have a clue of what to do with it. My heart ached to find a purpose for it. I didn't know where to pour that wealth. I didn't know what I could possibly want in my life if it was to be without the man I love. How can I even explain the profound effect that meditation has on grief? I have no words. Only in the singing journey of gratitude and aspirations are embedded the blueprints of this profound transformation.

Now I stand ready in that Vision of Love. This next phase of my journey will surely be filled with challenges and obstacles again. In the song garden of my highest dreams everything is already accomplished. To rise above the crude navigation of the mind's senses and allow Consciousness to unfold the design of my life remains my focus. As my Teacher quoted the famous Visionary Archimedes in his last Webinar, I feel compelled to continue exploring the wonders of the inner Self and bring these treasures forth. Imagine the possibilities if we each could imbibe the words of Archimedes:

"Give me a place to stand and I will move the world."

That place is within each of us if we only look for it.

Next no charge webinar with Tulshi Sen:
"What is the single biggest obstacle that prevents people from achieving success?"
Date: Thursday, December 3
Click here

Sunday, November 29, 2009

"Made in the Likeness and Image of..."

Made in the Likeness and Image of...

She ever suffers and is kind
There’s never evil nor envy on Her Mind
She never needs to see the proof
Yet She rejoices in the Truth
She bears all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
And ever believes
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth

Though I speak with the tongues of men
And of angels
And have not Love
I am nothing
Though I have the gift of prophecy
And understand all mysteries
And all knowledge
Though I have all faith
So I can remove mountains
And have not Love
I am nothing

O I know one day we will meet face to face
Within that ocean of Her Grace
My Heart will say:
“I AM the Way
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth.”

Adapted from 1 Corinthians:13
Ganga Fondan, 2009

Every time I get exhausted and want to give up, this passage from the bible always guides my heart. To trust and surrender to Love and to know that She can never fail is the Light that moves my whole life onward. She waits silently and lifts me through the hardest moments. She urges me to recognize myself in her Light. I cannot yet see the butterfly wings opening but I feel a subtle shift each day. She whispers and holds me and tells me that I Am a progeny of Love and that Love can never fail.

I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one winter morning a few years ago. It was one of those gray days that promised a snowstorm but if you used your imagination, you could see the sky as silver. Staring at the odd asemblage of items around me in my bachelor apartment, my hands started to strum a few basic chords on "Antara" (name of guitar). I felt like I needed somebody to hold me and tell me that my life would somehow be great again and that this too would pass. In times like this, my eye usually catches a book of poetry or scripture to lift the mood and on this day, it was the bible. 1 Corinthians 13 is always bookmarked so I happened to open it there. A conversation with Narayan came back into my head. We had agreed that no matter what ever happened, we would let the power of love guide us and we would trust this power to take us to the highest place we could be. We both believed that Love would never let us down. It felt comforting to bathe in this memory. My hand traced over the words on the page of the bible. My Teacher had taught me not to just study things verbatum but to try and sense what the poet or author was trying to convey. I closed my eyes and contemplated what those words meant for me now and here. I wanted to love like this. What would a person be like if they truly lived the words of 1 Corinthians 13? The lyrics kind of poured out and my ideal took shape. Over the years, this song takes on more meaning. It guides me in character building and staying patient and kind.

I do advise you to read this original Corinthians passage for yourself. You can google it. See what it says to you. For years I had listened to religious leaders and school professors tell me what they thought things were all about. I soon realized that even doctors and politicians and CEO's of big companies all have opinions and favored research sources but still we must discern for ourselves what the heart within us believes and desires to accomplish. We must each find our own way through the tidal waves of information and images. Accessing the meaning of our own lives through our own direct experiences of thoughts and feelings is vital if we are to achieve peaceful and powerful lives. If we are to pass on this legacy to our children.

A great example of this is to go to a local bookstore and see how many books there are about love. In the self-help section, relationship, psychology, religion and even science section there are books about what people have discovered. In the arts, biography, philosphy and fiction sections are hundreds of books about love. In history, political science and new age are great and inspiring books about love. In children's books, cook books, health books and travel books there are romantic themes and definitions about love. All these books are poured forth from the creativity of man...from the glorious realm of his or her connection to ideas. Still they do not teach us how to love. They teach us about love.

Not until we desire to know love for ourselves do we begin to write our own songs, discover our own epic and thrive in Love's presence. Not until we are fully immersed in its waters, do we begin to realize just what is possible knowing that if we but follow it, our lives can never be meaningless. Writing songs makes it easier for me to maintain the clarity of intention and stay in the feeling of what my direct experience is revealing. Always, the music and lyrics sustain the momentum to move forward and explore new feelings and desires and to express them into art and continue to be guided by this. When the inner space is ready and cries out for experience, then the tools of the Teacher, the books and the seminars become more valuable and can help us to become more powerful.

That is exactly how love has presented herself in my life many times over. As a Soulmate, as a Song, as a Teacher, as a musical Instrument and as a Friend. Whatever form She takes, She can never fail me. She endures and bears everything and hopes all things, teaching me to Vision and become One with Her and master my world.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

"The Answer's in the Motion of Love Inside..."

The Universe Flows Through Each of Us

“So many roads to travel
Which one is for me
Where can I find answers
When will these eyes see
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Questions ever endless
Though the truth be only one
Everything is finished
But we’ve only just begun
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Flow on, flow on , flow on….

Rushing to the ocean
Drifting out to sea
The answer’s in the motion
Of the Love inside of me
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Flow on, flow on, flow on….”

Ganga Fondan 1997

Today’s digital meditation explores :

“You will know how to think from the depths of your Consciousness by realizing how the Universe thinks. You will know how to act, freed from the mind’s dictates of limitations, by realizing how the Universe Acts. When you speak, you will speak from the core of your Being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe.” – Tulshi Sen, “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World”

Back in 1997, I had a few days off from the airlines and went to visit a friend. She had an extra guitar that I used to play around with. On this day, she was pre-occupied with something on her computer so I went to her backyard and sat on the warm soft grass. It was one of those days where the blue sky just welcomes you in and the occasional soft puffy cloud invites you to dream. Lying on my back, I thought of Narayan and his upcoming hip replacement. It didn't seem fair that his life was filled with medical procedures year in and year out. (I let the soft breeze caress my body.) Though I was certain that all would be well, I couldn't help but release some tears and anxiety to that gentle day. Sometimes I just didn't know what to do or think or decide anymore. At that time, I already felt considerable strength from what I was learning from my Teacher but it took a while for this to soak in to my belief level. The very idea that my life's answers would come from inside of me felt daunting especially at a time when I did not know from one day to the next what my husband's health would be like. I never felt more helpless in my life. I reached for the guitar lying beside me and sat up. My fingers softly strummed the strings. I looked up at the sky and began to hum. A feeling rose from inside and the words "flow on river" kept coming. I sang these three words over and over. It felt so beautiful to sing and articulate each syllable. Between humming and singing, I remember thinking "where is this feeling taking me?", and very shortly thereafter came the rest of the lyrics and melody. I must have sang that song all day. My friend eventually brought her guitar out into the backyard and we sang together until we just fell into the grass exhausted and happy.

Later, in Narayan's arms I felt rejuvinated and peaceful. I looked at my warrior husband and knew that everything would be alright. I felt empowered and ready for whatever would come next.

Now I look back at that time. So many songs came to lift me through every step of that journey. Faithfully, I followed the exercises that my Teacher suggested. The storm of my outward life carried on around me, but each time fear would overwhlelm me, my Teacher's words kept me in the moment and in love with my husband. That practice has long sustained me after Narayan left and I had to vision a new life for myself without him. This year on the 19th of November would have been my 16th wedding anniversay with him. I'm still a woman in love. Our love continues to spead to so many others who are having such a hard time in the storms of their life. Our story is still alive and useful. It still inspires countless works of art. I see it transform people around me in my day to day world. I continuously aspire to be an instrument that passes on what I have been so generously given. The truth is inside of each of us. Phenomenal Self-revelation happens when we see ourselves as distributors of the Universal flow. I needed tools to help me. Not my education, parents, religious training, healthcare system, work experience could show me how to let go of my dependence on the external events of my life to show me what my true realm of choice is. The "Four Proclamations" meditations alone have guided me to increased access to the limitless resources within me. The Visioning techniques and tools have opened my eyes to a much larger understanding of living a powerful life. Only through this knowing am I truly free to decide what I want to think.

Every single piece of art and every song and every poem continue to guide me forward now. Laced into the outpourings is the Universal purpose of my life. I still have a long way to go, but my Life Vision sings and sustains me from the inside over and over. I repeatedly embrace the truth of the quote above...

" will speak from the core of your being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe."

Listen to my Teacher's life-transforming talks. Click here.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Soak in Splashes of Sound and Silence

Soaking in Splashes of Sound and Silence

“This song is for you my Heart
Ever patient and honest
Though I have not always been true
Outward and away
Lured by the whims of the day
Full of such beautiful… beautiful things
And endless activities

Oh it’s so often that I stray
Like a little child lost in play
But every time I call for you…

Then you always bring me Home again
Where your love ever dances
In endless waves that roll like thunder
Into the silence

This song is for you my Heart
Filled with the music of Heaven
Let me fall at your feet
And give up everything
Just to sing for You
Just to sing with You”

Ganga Fondan, 2003

This song came in a time of gratitude and reaching. All the material things seemed to come easily and effortlessly but the inner growth was aching for more attention. My heart was craving for something I couldn’t quite identify. Lately I’ve pulled out this song again only to realize its revitalizing effect on my mind. I feel a jolt of growth, possibility and innovation on my digital canvas today.

My life is like this profound symphony of color and sound swirling in and around me. Something catches my eye or my attention and the urge to examine it and enjoy it overcomes me. It might be a song, a meal, a painting, a conversation or anything that holds me for a time. Whenever the heart is not involved, I miss the taste of my meal, the insight of the painting, the passion behind the song or the connection in the conversation. I may not notice at first and rush headlong into the next distraction that lures me in but eventually, I ache for something I have forgotten and take time to refocus. The heart never skips a beat at the opportunity to lift my life again. Never. Even through the most harrowing experiences, it always opens doors to greater strength and hope. So much so that it became the Great Heart in all my songs.

This process of rejoining with the Heart was made easier with the meditations on the Four Proclamations as outlined by Tulshi Sen in his book "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World". These ancient pillars of wisdom have allowed me to step into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Heart. As a result of this relationship, I have learned to listen to life and to observe in a way beyond the five senses. In this observation, songs awaken from the depth of my being. The Heart is the greatest storyteller and will reveal things about yourself that no one could tell you. In that intensity of self-realization, a more profound connection with everything and everyone takes shape. Eventually we realize that even breathing is proclaiming oneness with life. We celebrate our true intimacy:

"...Just like the baby in the mother's womb is One with the mother and is never concerned with substance. You will realize your umbilial cord with Universal Consciousness never was and never can be severed. Then you will know that Consciousness is your total supply and your substance." (P. 106)

It is in the spirit of that statement that this song comes to life. It reveres the enduring Heart knowing that It will never fail me. I realized over the years that my lack of trust in the Heart weakened my capacity to vision powerful outcomes for my life. Now in vigilence, my concentration of my dreams is increased and I have more control over the throughts I want to hold.

And so in this splashing of sound and silence, I seek to create more and more of a balance: That my heart may be open to the romance of life while the senses enjoy themselves. Today's digital painting is this reminder. The black parts of he picture are my silence and pause (Individualized Consciousness centred) while the colors are the senses ecstatically exploring the gifts of an abundant Universe under the realm of Universal Consciousness.

Here is to all of our freedom and rapture in life.

Tune in to Wednesday's Webinar with Tulshi Sen:
"Vaccination against Negative Thoughts"


Friday, November 13, 2009

Her Declaration of Independance

Her Declaration of Independence

“She gets up unusually early this morning
Sits on the veranda and sips ginger tea
Takes a long hot shower and takes time to choose her outfit
Dresses slowly and deliberately
Attends to every detail of her makeup
Stands poised at the doorway and collects herself
Walks with assurance and ease up the boulevard
Smiles at the people passing by and feels invigorated
With each step there is a lightening up
With each breath there is a sense of ease
Up and up she moves into the experience
Her thoughts are clear and centered
Suddenly in a moment of tremendous shifting
Her pinball life rolls in ready to strike her down
But this time she stands silently
Calmly refocuses her view
Salutes the six-sided day
Reframes the world into the shape of her Beloved

Creation cannot roll over such a powerful woman
It offers everything wholeheartedly to this new design
Every sweet desire is expressed and fulfilled
While she breathes in the ecstasy of this romance
She celebrates the first day of her freedom
She celebrates her release from the clutches of conditions
She takes her place among the architects of the world”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

What would I do for love? Love of my ideal life? This is the motivating question burning in me after this last Wednesday’s invigorating and “wisdom-soaked” web seminar with Tulshi Sen. In the visioning process itself, we cannot try and find the ways to fulfill our dreams. We must be able to feel them, interact with them as though we are already alive in them. We must know they are already a done deal. If we are seeing the ideal life and worried about how we will attain it, then we are still struggling through a painful “to-do” list. The last step in trusting your vision is already accomplished is to stand poised and be willing to challenge that “rolling over” mentioned in the poem. It is the final stand and sacrifice we make for what we believe in. All the greatest heroes who embrace(d) an ideal and face(d) whatever comes in the name of a dream know that final step of self-dedication.

Since Wednesday night I have been able to think of little else than the word "freedom". Many years ago, I packed up my little blue Pony and left the west to find my dreams and live in the freedom of accomplishing them. I could not think like those around me and desired to find what it was I wanted to dream about. All I wanted to do was get away from there and move to another place. Then eventually in that other place, my insecurities caught up with me and I found new ways to run away. I lost myself among friends, suffocated any pain in "mind numbing recreation" and still thought I was living a free life. When circumstances would bowl me over and run me down, I never knew how to face that which limited my freedom. I had no strength and no tools to challenge my suffocator and began to realize that I had no skills to break out of this dilemma.

That is where what I have learned from my Teacher has made all the difference. Over the years, by learning visioning and meditation techniques, I was introduced to the most gruesome taskmaster and slave driver known to man, his own mind. With repeated effort, I began to recognize all the behaviors and voices of judgement from my past. I had been shaped and formed in a world that told me who I was. For the cheap price of someone's love and approval, I would often turn myself inside out and deny my deepest feelings. How many thousands of ways my mind has tricked me into seeing the smallest version of myself. But why? What is the payoff for the mind? Wouldn't the mind benefit if I became a much enhanced version of life? Ahhhhh, it is then I discover for myself over and over that the mind cannot take me there. It is like a processor and can only be a tool to measure and mete out life's grander ideals. Where do these grander ideals come from? I've been paying homage to the computer instead the intelligence that runs the computer.

The intelligence beyond the mind calls to me to design a larger version of my life. Why not trust something greater than my own ability to rationalize and philospohpize the meaning of my existence? "Logic and Love do not mix" reverberated throughout the entire call. My mind buzzed with excitement. The call took us on a journey from the inner intensity of poets to the sacrifice and passion of freedom fighters. From Keats: My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains/My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk"... to the visionary heroes who signed the American "Declaration of Independence". For the love of another being, the love of a nation, the love of an ideal, the intelligence beyond the mind calls upon all mankind to wake up and declare our own independence from the self-preserving mind and to dream of a life we really want to experience.

This week's webinar was a calling out to feel the romance of life. Those who build magnificent empires accomplish the dream first and then use their mind to expedite the details. They risk their lives for the love of an ideal that calls to them to challenge their current circumstances. This madness of trust made me fall in love with a man who had just come out of remission and love for love's sake alone. This madness of trust continues to carry my life to the most unexpected places while I stay poised in the dream and direction of my heart. In this exhilerating process, I repeatedly pay homage to my Teacher and his tireless capacity to vision a world where people are free to think the thoughts they really want to think and not the thoughts they are forced to think by their environment.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

"We Cannot Vision More Than We Are" - Tulshi Sen


"How would I know to seek a greater way of living
If I had not been misunderstood and cast out
If I didn’t have to let go of everything that mattered
To find my life and lose it all over again
If the land around me had not dried up and denied me
And emptied out my accounts
How would I know the hunger that comes
If my dream had not eluded me and faded into the shadows
Leaving me void of meaning and purpose
How would I know the thirst to know myself
If I had not fallen hard onto my knees
Too exhausted to take another step
Too ashamed to ask for help
How would I know that ache or want
Which is in itself an answer hurling itself upon the heart
Invoking there a new blossoming of sound and feeling
Erecting a new earth that shapes itself in and around my Being
How would I know this gift of Grace without the pain of desire
How otherwise would these songs of joy and courage have come"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This posting is once again inspired by my Mentor’s message. This week’s seminar with Tulshi Sen was a great reminder to look at the correlation of what I desire and how I love. Where do my desires come from: my head or my heart? He explained: “Every Vision is a product of love”. He went on to challenge us on the different aspects of love such as self-serving, co-operative or unselfish unconditional love. The way we love is our pattern of thinking and through this lens we feel what we want in life. In my own experience, this lens comes more into focus as I practice the meditations given in: “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World.” I realize that what seemed so hard and impossible many times in my life were actually gateways to a deeper self-awareness and trust. Only emptied will I discover the wealth of my true heart’s desire.

This week I take a good long hard look at my life and like countless times before, re-evaluate what is important to me and what do I cling on to falsely believing it to be essential to my well being. How much the events in my life have sculpted who I am now and allowed me to build new dreams. Each time there seemed to be a coming together of details that seemed to move me forward. Sometimes a breaking apart also teaches me about myself. This wonderful journey of self-discovery goes deeper still and that feels exciting and frightening at the same time. Still I wonder why I hang on to so many old belief systems. These impede the raising of my belief level and yet I still cling on to them. I love the example of a monkey leaping from limb to limb of the trees completely trusting that he will catch the next branch. He has to let go of the first branch in order to complete the jump. I'm working on seeing myself leaping like that. Maybe a song about it will come or artwork and a poem. Mr Sen teaches that we must build ourselves from within in order to embrace the larger Visions. Meditating on the Four Proclamations has taken me to places I never thought I would go before. Recently I showed a new friend a picture of myself 14 years ago and she did not recognize me at all. She said I have a completely different face and body. I smiled at her and said that I am not that person in the picture. Monumental changes have occured in me.

A beautiful quote came up in the teleseminar this week:

"The coninuous flow of only one kind of thought to the exclusion of all other thoughts is supreme Bliss and is regularly practiced by the wise." - Pitanjali

It seems so simple an idea. When we do what we love to do it seems to make the hours fly by, put colors in our cheeks and put a smile on our face. There is so much more in all of us to find. According to the Ancient teachings, "the only action we ever do is visioning".

This seminar is so rich that I have to listen to it a few times to really let it soak in. You can too - here.

I'll leave you with this quote from the evening. The words have been hanging on a slip of paper over my desk and for some time but now I see them in a new light:

"You are what your deep driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will, so your deed.
As your deed, so is your destiny." - Upanishad Brihadaranyaka IV.4.5

Friday, October 30, 2009

Expanding in Butterfly Consciousness

My Consciousness Creates Reality

Caterpillar Self lived a limited existence
The world accepted her meager body
And fed her scraps of life and leaves
She marveled at the beauty of the flowers
And climbed a few just to see what else waited
She worked hard on herself
She pushed her little aching body
To the farthest reaches of her little garden
She entertained caterpillar friends
Listened to caterpillar music
Worked a caterpillar job
But silently at night she would cry
Her heart pounded in her little chest
A great cascading Dream called to her
She called back to the Dream
A feeling of flight and colors stirred
A sensation of indescribable expansion
Just when she felt she would burst in this joy
Just when she felt it was too much to hold
A miraculous event began to weave itself
Within herself
Around herself
Out of herself
For an instant she thought she saw herself as a flower
In that moment Butterfly Self laughed
And thought she remembered herself as a little worm.

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Meditation on the third proclamation:

"Individual Consciousness is the creative force. My Consciousness is the Creator. " - Tulshi Sen, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

Coming home from a local pub last night, I could not wait to start working on this post. Listening to the lively expressive sounds of the band onstage (Gibbran)I suddenly felt everyone around me as an actor or as later depicted "caterpillar". I saw an old life of mine flitting around me there in that place serving and laughing and dancing and socializing and drinking and eating. I had participated in that life for a long time while struggling all the way towards something better. I could feel the urge of the singer to sing the songs he had writen rather than the cover tunes that the audience demanded. I looked at the hightop runners of the waiter who ran his heart out for the crowd that gathered. I observed the animated faces of those sitting around me completely engrossed in their desire to let loose and connect. I remember that drunken state of animation very well. Last night something inside just wanted to sit still and observe the entire scene as a piece of myself. How can I explain this? I saw an aspect of myself in everyone there: the singer,the bartenders, the waitstaff, the men staring into the sports scenes on screens, the women readjusting their hair and clothes after a dance, the slow intense slur of those have had a bit too much of things on the menu and those which are not. It felt marvellous to witness. It felt pitiful. It felt alarming. It felt peaceful.

Something new in me stirred.
It felt alive and ready.
What now?

My Consciousness creates.
The new garden awakens and offers the nectar of endless flowers.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Chapter 2: "I Feel a Light on My Face"


"Father sky asked me to close my eyes and see
The inner landscape is endless and generous
Father sky asked me not to forget the Source of All
In his song he took me back to places I had forgotten
He showed me the pain of ages
Where we had lost ourselves in endings
We began to limit ourselves in beginnings
We lost touch with the infinite Source of All
Father sky asked me to close my eyes and see
In that seeing a feeling arose from the depths
In that heated flame a picture began to emerge
The inner landscape blossomed on every side
In that blossoming rose the children of the earth
Each child shaped and formed in the water of life
The wind breathed them to being and drew them forth
Father sky asked me to open the heart of my eyes
Open the heart of my ears
Open the heart of my skin
Open the heart of my taste
Open the heart of my smell
Open the heart of my womb
In that sweet crescendo of feeling a new dream awoke
A new child opened its mind and began to sing"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Artwork and poetry is a meditation on the following words:

"Your Consciousness is all powerful. All the power of the Universe, past, present and future, the power that created the sky, the earth, the galaxies, a grain of sand, a flower - is in you at this very moment. You don't need to go anywhere else for your building materials or the worlkforce to build your vision. You already have it. " - Tulshi Sen, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

I woke up this morning before the sun came out. I knew this day was special. I knew that the sun would not rise because it is always there flaming and beautiful in the sky. The ceremonial day was beginning. This is my renewal. This is my story. As I slowly dressed I looked out at the stars still bright in the sky. The sky just kept begging for my attention. I stopped for a coffee and bagel on the way to the shop. Sitting there staring at the dark sky, my heart felt light so I pulled out my notebook and started to write. The words came pouring out. The last few lines completely framed my day:

"This is another chance to embrace the gift that meets me on the horizon over and over. What can I do but sing? The Abundance falls like rain and all I have to do is face it, acknowledge it and rise with it each morning. The new day is loaded full of success, compassion and love."

Now it is dark again. The artwork and poetry of this post flow effortlesly from within. The sun has hidden itself again and the dark sky is capturing my thoughts. This glorious day washes over me and in its ebbing opens up new vistas and possibilities. A new courage now rises which chapter one was only preparing me for. May Grace and Gratitude stay by my side for they are the true sisters of my happiness.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

"In this Burning We Are Ever Free"

"In This Burning We Are Ever Free"

“When they burned my lover’s beautiful body
I saw the great fire enfolding him into itself
A piece of me burned there in that flame
A piece of him watched with me through my eyes
Fire cleans everything so thoroughly
When the soft silky ashes ran through my hands
Into the waiting cool waters of the lake
I saw them fertilizing the soil deep below
Plants will grow there and feed the fish
Animals will eat the fish and roam around
Fecal matter will become soil again for the trees
Through great roots the water from deep will rise
And explode outwards in the morning dew
The sky will draw him upward again
My lover will be everywhere for all time
Nourishing nature again and again this body will serve
Moon and stars and suns will know him
Mountains, lakes and rivers flow through him
One day even pieces of that body will become Being again

But now that piece of me that burned with him calls to me
It aches for release and freedom
That piece of him that lives in my heart calls back:
My Love, in this burning we are only witnesses
Rise and let go of everything
We are One beyond this dance of ice and fire
Claim your freedom.

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This art and poetry is a meditation on yesterday's teleseminar with Tulshi Sen. To find our dreams we go through a great shift of personality and perception in order to see the greatest in ourselves. When he uttered the following words, my thoughts lifted to an indescribable quietness:

"Life is a dance of Consciousness and the mind. It is a romance only when Consciousness leads and the mind follows." - Tulshi Sen

How many times, my heart has shown me such exquisiteness in life. Inside I feel so many changes happening. Sometimes I feel the putrid decaying thoughts of fear hanging on so tightly to maintain their importance in my life. Yet here in this Fall weather I look around and release these anxieties like leaves in a blustery wind. In the artwork I see myself being guided to a new life again. There is cremation of ideas that belonged to my life once. What significance do they still have in where I want to go? Like old clothes that no longer suit my lifestye I let them go and thank them for their service. One of the greatest gifts that has come to me through the practice of the Four Proclamations is the art of listening. This tuning in to Consciousness has shown me how to write songs and draw pictures. It has shown me how to interpret these outpourings as roadmaps to my own evolution.

Unless I do have power over my thought, I can never be free. Unless I can listen to my heart, I have no desire to take this control. Only when glimpses of magnificent feelings peek through my awareness, do I suddenly recognize the priceless value of owning my thoughts and maintaining a vigilence that will not negate the wonder of a beautiful desire aching to make itself known. In yesterday's discussion, my Teacher said that just like a strand of DNA holds the coding for an entire body, so does a single powerful Vision contain the seed to our dream life. The Universe takes care of all the details.

While walking in a brisk wind earlier today, I thought about Narayan. I do not know where he is. I cannot say what he looks like or what he does. I watched his cremation and saw such amazing images passing through my mind. Beyond my unshakable love for him is a Voice that calls to me and coaxes me to look deeper into my own desires and feelings. When I feel the impulse to write a song or make a picture or write a poem, I feel alive and filled with joy. I know that life is showing me the way and opening new horizons for me to experience and feel the wonder of being alive and following my Consciousness with surrender and gratitude.

May your week shower you with brilliant insights to follow your dreams.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"Following That One Light Blazing In Me"

"Following that One Light Blazing in Me"

"I feel grateful for all I've learned
and the people to whom I turned
Now like a river flowing to the Sea
I let them all go now to their own destiny
while I follow that one Light blazing in me
I'm gonna live my own dream again

I gonna live my own dream again
I'm gonna break through these clouds of rain
Straight to that bright shining sun
In the name of the One
I stake my claim
where I live my own dream again"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

All week I've been singing this song in order to stir up some feelings of ache and desire again. When my rational mind reminds me of my losses, my songs lead me back to a place of hope, of faith and courage again. Staring at the ever giving Ocean, my heart rises once more to declare its intent. I draw strength from the words of my Teacher:

"Your Consciousness is the spark and Universal Consciousness is the blaze and they are one and the same. Constantly reflecting on the meaning of this Truth and silencing the constant chatter of the intellect brings this Truth to our realization. This is referred to as crossing over the Ocean of Consciousness."

Even though I've been meditating on the 4 Proclamations for some time now, there is always more to be fine-tuned when it comes to manifesting what I really want to experience in my life. Last week's webinar was a call for self-honesty again and I felt plagued with a feeling of resistance that I could not shake. One night a friend and I went down to the waters of Lake Ontario. It was quite late but the roar of the tides lured us towards the water. She stayed back a bit while I ran all the way to the water's edge dropping my knees into the cool moist sand. In front of me were the energizing waves rolling towards me. I saw no horizon in the blackness, only the white waves seemingly coming out of nowhere with such a force towards me. I felt high and completely captured by this sight My eyes began to tear up as I thought of how much the Universe showers over my life. I felt the words of my Teacher reminding me that our aches and longings do not come from the mind. I asked inside again and again if I may break through the resistance and feel the pulsating of my heart's dream. Like lightening flashes the waves continued to rush towards me over and over again. By now I could not stop sobbing with joy. I kept thinking: "Show me. Show me." I wanted to sit there for an eternity but knew that my friend was waiting. Looking back at the waves as we walked to the car, I reminded every cell of my body to remember that feeling vividly.

There are pockets in my life where I allow myself to get comfortable and forget that experiencing my True Being is my focus. My personality is my belief level and this is my opportunity to raise my expectations and be free from conditions. In his last webinar, my Teacher reminded us of how many paradigms mankind has had to continuously break through. We once believed that the earth was flat or that the sun travelled around the earth. By discovering a new reality, everything in our world and the way we thought about it changed. Mankind was so resistant to acknowledge the truth until scientific evidence convinced them otherwise. How brave were those that knew before the data was produced.

I feel exciting times are ahead. Join in on the webinars if you like. Just click here and sign up for the newletter for the webinar information. I guarantee that you have not heard a speaker like this before. Now is a great time to listen because he is just beginning the 4 Proclamations Cycle this week.

I am rich because of what I have learned from Mr. Sen. I see how many other lives around me have been changed as a result of using the meditational and visioning exercises he adapted from the ancients to suit our 21st century chattering mindset. The other day I met an incredible woman who says that these webinars are changing her whole life and she thanked me over and over for recommending "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" to her. I let her know about his meditation cd and she got really excited. I saw her eyes sparkle and felt the warmth of her heart. It is the greatest pleasure passing on this wisdom to others whle still learning to master the principles for myself.

The other day a beautiful idea came to my mind and I wrote in my journal:
"I understand for the first time why we have specific gifts and talents and why it is so crucial to bring out the highest expression of them. In the expression of Consciousness (Creation), we grow in awareness and celebrate our own relationship with Divinity."

And so this artwork, song lyrics and blog entry is an offering to that Divinity which ever guides me through this powerful and beautiful life. I close my eyes and feel the roaring water and its limitless generosity. I feel the words : "straight to that bright shining Sun in the Name of the One I have my claim where I live my own dream again."


Thursday, October 1, 2009

"All Girls are Princesses"

"All Girls are Princesses"

“What makes her the most beautiful
is that her heart sees crystal clearly
Though born in simple circumstances
Her treasures are her thoughts
Filled with romance and music
Wherever she encounters life
She holds it up against the light
And sees the most amazing wonders
Without money she wears the autumn leaves
And colored feathers of birds in her hair
When her accounts overflow again
She decorates herself with gold and diamonds
When no one understands this and casts her out
She sits in the shade of the cool trees
And sing songs with nature in the moonlight
When others begin to curiously hover
She takes their hands in hers and dances
She is a daughter of Abundance itself
And pours onto the canvas of my psyche
Out of No-Thing she arises
to stir the poetry of Self-Creation”

This posting is a meditation on the following quote discussed by Tulshi Sen in his Webinar entitled: “How Do I Accomplish What is Beyond my Means?”

“That is Infinite. This is Infinite. From that Infinite arises this Infinite. This Infinite is brought forth from That Infinite and That Infinite remains Infinite.”

Isha Upanishad

I remember one night a few years ago, Narayan and I lay awake in our bedroom as a beautiful stream of moonlight poured over us. We had just come home from another seminar with our Teacher and were confronted with idea of our own "lack mentality".
Our conversation went something like this:

Ganga: The whole idea of limitlessness is overwhelming. I never really thought about it so deeply before.

Narayan: Yeah I know what you mean.

Ganga: I mean I never really ask for EVERYTHING nor do I really allow myself to think of what that everything might be.

Narayan: I think my parents had lack mentality too. Like you should be happy with what you have and not ask for too much.

Ganga: I really thought that if I take more than what I should, that I take away from others and I feel guilty. Like the sky was one round pie and the pieces were divided out and there was a test to see how much each person would take.

Narayan: (chuckles) Our world is a pie, my Princess. I get you all to myself. I love you.

Ganga: I love you forever too. Limitlessly. Limitlessly. Limitlessly.

Yesterday my Teacher challenged us again in the Webinar to go deeper into that feeling of want inside. "If we had all the means in the world what would we want?"
I was reminded of that conversation with Narayan. I've come such a long way since that night, but I still go deeper into the feeling and grow. Over time, my imagination has loosened up and I can see more than ever before. Another interesting thing said in the webinar is that "no desire ever comes from our mind", and "all desires originate in the Universe".

Just before I met Narayan, I had the feeling that I was ready to have a long term relationship and something so deep inside was aching to form a Vision of a powerful and ideal man for myself. I remember that feeling so clearly. It came from beyond reason and rose from beyond my thoughts. Lately I have wanted to feel that passionate again but I'm not exactly sure what it is yet so the songs and artwork and music bring me forward and show me a way.

If you would like to listen to a recording of last nights or others please click here and indulge yourself. Life transforming and cutting edge tools ae given to rise above your current want and dive into true desire from the heart.

Also I want to reread the suggested Chapter Six of "Ancients Secrets of Success for Today's World" entitled: The Everyday Magic of Creating From No-Thing. - The Substance of Your Personal Creative Power That Gets You What You Want

Have a truly magnificent rest of your week.

PS Oh and BTW, did you know what the biggst fear of the mind is?
Answer: Fear of heights. It dreads upward aspirational thoughts.
(I learned that in the Webinar too.)

* - quote from "A Little Princess" movie

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

"I laugh when I hear the fish in the water is thirsty" - Kabir


“We agreed to love in that dimension
Where neither breath nor air exists
Where everything floats upward and onward
But the gravity of devotion persists
We agreed to go through the rituals
Of what longing and pain will permit
With no clue for the waiting five senses
To revel in one bit of it
So when I feel a clutching and clinging
And a gasping for life I once knew
And it feels like we’re deep underwater
And our faces are now turning blue
I let go of the physical fighting
I let go of the urge to survive
And in the waters of imagination
Feel a wonder abundantly live
In the waters of deeper perception
That my thinking cannot guarantee
My heart soaks in courage and trusting
That my Beloved is always with me.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This post is a tribute to the 14th Century poet, Kabir who said:
"I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty."

I look forward to another call with my Teacher tonight:
"How do I figure out what I want. I know what I need to do, but tell me how I can figure out what I want."

You can join in if you would like:

Listen through the phone or register and listen online with no long distance charges.

1. Through your phone line **************************************
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Time: 7:00pm Pacific/ 10:00pm Eastern
Dial In Phone Number: 1-312-878-0222
Access Code: 479-589-816# (long distance charges do apply). **************************************
2. Listen on your computer Just register with our conferencing system(Go To Webinar) by clicking on the link below: (This system does require you to have speakersconnected to your computer). To register click this link:

*These Raise Your Belief Level Audio Webinars are open to anyone and everyone interested in success.

It is always inspiring and deeply moving to have an opportunity to learn from a true leader. Artwork and songs and poetry have come from deep within using the tools and methods he teaches about. He is a Master of the ancient teachings and knows the 21st century mindset and its challenges to reach out for all that life has to offer. This blog is about so many of the changes and transformations I have gone through over the past years as a direct result of practicing these methods. Courage and peace have come into my day to day experiences. Joy permeates everything I do. The wellspring of creative ideas and the thirst to embrace my world fully continues in every moment.

This posting today is my only work so I'm off to go on an adventure today. May the life of your dreams shower upon you and may you consciously be awake and in awe for every second of it.

Love always,

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Let Deepest Expectations Conquer Fear

Our Deepest Expectation Conquers All Fear

"What is this inside calling
that my outside wants to see?
Do I run from my heart’s longing
or does it run away from me?
Am I master of my thoughts
or a slave of inner whim?
Why do I always question:
What condition am I in?
Are my hopes for safe tomorrows
locked in yesterday once more
or do I feel a pang of something
I have never felt before?
Do I run away from dreaming
out of fear of what may come?
Does this suppression ever serve me
because its what I’ve always done?
Am I not more than just this body
made of flesh and blood and mind?
What could be more important
than this quest for all mankind?
What is our expectation
every moment of the day?
Will we finally turn to feel it
Or will we always run away?"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This artwork and poem is inspired by yesterday’s teleseminar given by Tulshi Sen in which he emphasized listening to the expectant and romantic heart within. By transcending the fearful and anxious mind we “arouse the dormant powers of life and consider that which was thought to be impossible.”

While playing with my digital canvas, I wondered again about the questions raised in the call. What do I expect from my life? What do I long for? Where will I be six months from now? A year from now? Ten years from now? I have to admit that sometimes I do only think about paying my bills and making sure that everything is in place for next month again. Then I have to laugh because money has always come and gone in my life. Fantastic experiences filled with affluence would flow in and there were other times when I lived on less than $10.00 a day. From basking on the beaches in the South of France to appreciating a buck and change for a Tim Hortons coffee, the tides of life give and take again. What I've learned from my Teacher is that regardless of my circumstances, my romantic heart continues to dream and desire and call forth new experiences. Will I allow myself to stagnate out of "wanting to get by"? Never. The Four Proclamations are my navigational tools to stay in tune with my Source of strength within. Centred, my life is filled with poetry, music and creative images. Out of this play of romance, my day to day living becomes richer.

When Narayan left this world, I did not know what I could expect from life. My Teacher assured me that I would know great joy again. With the "Sen Yantra System" my frozen thoughts of grief loosened and intense desire began to surface. The more I practiced these simple techniques, the more I wanted to sing in aspiration and feel the dance of the poets and visionaries of the past. Thinking the thoughts I wanted to think was made easier through the use of symbols and mantras of sound. These kept and still keep my heart open and creative. My romatic self becomes actively contagious everywhere I go. It seems my love for Narayan keeps expanding into something greater than I ever knew before.

A few days ago I visited a friend in a huge loft apartment with an enormous skylight which poured in a wealth of sunlight over a magnificent electronic keyboard and acousitc guitar. The sound carried like a dream in that place as the music poured through me immersed in wonder under that fantastic skylight. While playing, I could feel my expectation level expanding. I could feel that I wanted this kind of light and resonance in the next place I live. I could see myself playing for others in space much like this one. I could feel my happiness alive and dancing simply for the joy of the experience. Every cell tingled with delight. I played for hours on the keyboard and then picked up the guitar and sang to my heart's content.

In that romance, I could feel my desire for the space, for the sound, for the elation itself. This experience supercharged me again and reminded me to never compromise any longing that comes from deep within. As I think all these thoughts, the artwork draws me in for a closer look. I see myself in all women and all women in me. We are One. The common thread of finding romance, relationships and riches weaves through all of us. Our journey is One and yet each of us lives our own phenomenal epic if we only listen to the inner songs.

If anyone is in the Vancouver area tomorrow, I urge you to attend Tulshi Sen's one day seminar on the "Sen Yantra System". Turn and feel your own expectation and live a romantic and prosperous life.

Have an awe-inspired week-end.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Belief Blossoms in a Romantic Heart

In the Heart of Desire I Find My Belief

“I will turn this world around and upside down for you
one gentle and vivid thought at a time.
No barricades can hold me back
because there is no yielding in romance.
Wind and Fire may roar and burn.
Water and air may suffocate all the ages
but my desire for you shall bring me back and back
until my heart revives and thrives in the elements themselves.
All beauty and creation rise in this heightened state.
The world of our choosing opens full of grace and peace.
Every obstruction falls and fades into oneness
to reveal the wonder of another sacred and noble thought.
Like a delicate flower set adrift onto a remote and quiet stream
this thought dances outward in precious ripples
reveling with romance in a mighty and generous Sea.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

After last night's fantastic teleseminar with Tulshi Sen, "How Can I Keep from Self-Sabotaging", I realized something that found expression in the art and words of today's posting. Something that he said remained in my thoughts. He told us about sitting near a stream and seeing a willow leaf gently falling into the water and making ripples. The leaf itself was like a thought creating outward flowing waves or impressions on the water. As I looked out my window this morning and stared at all the newly built high rises and people in my view, I wondered what that soft and gentle willow leaf falling into a stream could teach me.

I see it falling in the water of my mind. The leaf is light as a feather and yet it causes ripples in the water. Like subtle thoughts of kindness and tenderness, it etches a current into the lifestream that moves even mountains. Giving someone eye contact, listening to what they say and smiling are all such seemingly small acts that open a heart or touch a soul in the instant. In my daily life, adding a silent pause before communicating a response has given me time to witness a greater connection byond the conversation. Pronouncing words sincerely and clearly has lightened many interactions which began in a state of stress. These are all examples of ripples that people generate intentionally to create a more peaceful world. Our actions are like willow leaves falling into a moving stream.

Instead of a leaf, my digital canvas calls forth a fragile pink blossom filled with the spark of a beautiful intention. It has no other ambition but to make the world more beautiful and romantic. It is set free to find its manifestation in the waters of life. The circle rings get bigger and bigger. This shape reminds me of how we create our world. In Ancient Secrets of Success, chapter 10 : Centering Yourself for Success" , my Teacher writes:

"The center is the cause of the circumference. Without the center it is impossible to have a circumference. The centre is thought and the circumference is the thing. The center generates the radius from itself to reproduce the circumference. In the same way your thought will reach out to generate, with all the power that ever was or will be in the Universe, and radiate your thought into manifestation as seen by you in the center, your Absolute, your In-Visible world."

Wouldn't it be more powerful to throw boulders into the water or mountains themselves to create tidal wave ripples that will create more powerful circumferences? Wouldn't it be more powerful to drop a whole tree into the water rather than rejoice in a single bud or leaf falling? The digital art continues to unfold while the colors and the shapes find and lose their focus. I want to know the answer.

I remember living in tidal wave thoughts. For the most part, these were fear based and founded in worry. It felt difficult to navigate the day to day activites of life. There was no peace inside. Feelings of not being good enough or being abandoned fell and crashed like great objects thrown into a river. Turbulence spread to every other aspect of my life. My actions became more and more defensive and self-preserving. Knowing that the In-Visible center of my Being creates my circumstances has helped me to make tremendous shifts in my thought world. Using the tools that my Teacher offered, opened up a new way of seeing the world. They loosened my imagination and calmed my thinking so that the creative and romantic wellsprings could be brought forth.

Singing quietly in a candlelit room at night could move mountains in my life. Silently writing new ideas into a notebook could change my interactions with countless people later in the day. The power of one picture of art could stare back at me and tell me stories about my experiences. These ripple effects were the foundations of inner transformations happening. The outer experience became more effortless and tireless. Everything became more meaingful and immediate. The Four Proclamations declare our freedom to create in this way.

Staring at the beautiful image on the computer screen, I see myself in the romance between the hand, the blossom and the water. I am all these. My heart sets another intention. That my mind may be free from the clutches of my intellect which holds me in the previous dramas of all past conditioning and continuously sabotages my feelings of unity. This liberation is a lifelong journey ever unfolding in wonder and joy. Suddenly I can feel the gift of one willow leaf falling into a trickling stream. The ripple waves have touched my heart through the imagination of my Teacher and now onward to you.

What will your own intention now release into the waters of life?


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Singing Abundance Out of No-Thing

Flourishing in the Wholeness of Sound

“It begins with only One Song.
We discover ourselves in That.
Within a solitary vibration emerges a blueprint of life.
Stirring the melodious heart of every cell,
this sound flows like a cool clean river
cascading playfully through us.
In this glorious awakening we experience this Song
through a spectacular crescendo of feeling.
We each find our individual voice
effortlessly and freely,
uniquely and boldly
to express over and over
the endless harmonious possibilities
of One abundant Whole Note.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

The first time I ever heard his voice, a deep feeling of familiarity rushed through me. He strummed the guitar gently and curled his lips to meticulously pronounce the words of the song that came. His blue eyes stared into mine and his head bobbed up and down ever so slightly. I close my eyes now and still hear the beautiful resonance of his sound. Then came times we sang privately together immersed in only the sweetest world of the moment. Our union planted generous seeds for self-discovery in our unity. From that wellspring still rises such fantastic joy. From this joy, the fulfillment of art and poetry abundantly flourishes.

Falling in love, blossoming in love and letting go of attachment to form in that love opens a way to experiencing a Truth and feeling of oneness with more of life. Music was and is such a powerful form of this connection with others and with oneself. Through Narayan's encouragement, this journey through sound seemed inviting and uplifting. His approach to songs was honest and never forceful. He found his own way through them. He never tried to sing like somebody else. He tried to find his own answers in the music of others and eventually in his own creations. A profound conversation between us forever changed the way I looked at songwriting and singing.

In our second year together, my desire to write songs out of poetry started to escalate and after feverishly working on something that took weeks to finish, I sat down and started to sing him this song of unrequited love. It was about a man who would never find love because of his circumstances while the woman of his dreams entered his day to day experiences. After finishing I looked up to see Narayan's face to see if he could write some music to it. He sat quiet for a while and started to shake his head. I'll never forget his words:

"Why on earth would you even write a depressing sad song like that? The world is such a hard place to find happiness in, why would you want to discourage anyone with sadness?. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel."

It took me half a day to digest his words. I felt defensive. It took many years to be able to express deep feelings in writing and now he was criticizing me for sharing them. I looked over the words on the page. There was a lesson laced in this experience and I wanted to find it. After sitting quietly with this for a while I knew he was right. He had given me a great gift, only then I didn't realize how great.

Narayan and I had endured not only his challenges with health but had seen so many people not make it through the same rigorous treatments. Their famililies had clung to any hope that surrounded them and in the end had to let go and bravely move on with their lives. In such a small slice of life, I was surrounded with people who lived each day to find something stronger than themselves to cling to. No wonder Narayan wanted nothing to do with a sad song. Why would I put him through that? Why would I put myself through that? Suddenly it seemed so clear. Music is a tool made up of ideas and melodies. When brought forth with an intention, this tool can uplift and prolong intense feelings of hope and faith.

A few years later, we met our Teacher. He reiterated Narayan's refusal to worry or linger in painful feelings by passing onto us the ancient meditations on the Four Proclamations. Finding strength and power in the wholeness of life while seemingly impossible circumstances torment our day to day realities is possible by transcending the mind. There is no need to dwell in limitations that would keep us from joy and abundance. We can raise our belief level and accomplish the dreams once thought completely impossible. We hold this Vision through our songs. We claim our "I Am'ness" in the Universe.

In last Thursday's teleseminar, my Teacher explored the idea of choosing to see the "best case scenarios" rather than the worst. It is in this "seeing" that the blueprint is created and maintained. If you want to hear the call again, just go to his new blog.

Here is the info for tomorrow night's call:
Date: Thursday, September 10, 2009
Time: 7 PM PST (10 PM EST)
Dial In Phone Number: 1-916-233-3089
Access Code: 144-042-761#
Everyone is welcome to come and listen in.

In posting this artwork and poetry today I think about my silent pledge to Narayan to always find ways to uplift, encourage inspire and aspire. Through the use of ancient meditational and visioning tools so many self-limiting behaviors have dropped away. I see how many others around me still struggle in their worries and doubts about finding happiness. In my intention to increasingly gain control over my thinking and become a master designer of happiness, my heart aspires daily to make the journey lighter for those around me as well. We are alive and wholly connected in this grande symphony of the One glorious exquisite Note rising out of No-Thing promising us everything.

Feel it awaken and resonate in you at this very moment,


Saturday, September 5, 2009

Our Unalienable Right to Fall in Love

Unalienable Right to Fall in Love

Every time you look at me I wonder what you see.
I wonder what your heart feels when it says:
“You are so beautiful.
You are so powerful and precious.
You can have anything you truly want.
Your every desire is a promise fulfilled.”
Even after being pushed around,
disappointed, dried out and cried out
while wading knee-deep in darkness and doubt…
My Vision rises again and again
trying harder to see what you see
and to feel what you feel when you look at me.
In that reaching pulsates a great Joy
nudging me to the edge of knowing for myself
that we are One.
That we are powerful and precious…
That we can have anything we truly want…
Every desire is a promise fulfilled.
All we need to do is fall into our Belief.

Ganga Fondan 2009

This "you" in the prose above embodies everyone who loves me. A great wave of heartfelt friendships have blessed me over and over. In my eagerness to love others, I often neglected to fully receive from them. This posting today focusses on my desire to be more present with all those in my life. I want to listen more and hear the words from the heart. I want to accept a compliment or a gift without feeling like I have to reciprocate or feel worthy of the moment. Oh I've come a long way, but there is still much further to reach in fully loving my Self.

Last night's telephone call with my Teacher was fantastic. There were people from all over the United States and Canada listening in. The topic was once again about raising our belief level. He asked us many questions and invited us to embrace a much enlarged imagination in order to really try and answer them honestly. One thing that really stuck with me was the idea of being in "defense mode". Oh it can be so subtle. Someone makes a suggestion about something we can aspire to and immediately we navigate our present circumstances for the likelihood of accepting this idea. We reach for what he calls "the worst case scenario" and brace ourselves for it. Perhaps we may lose our job, our pension fund, our relationship, our we better not risk taking a chance on ourselves. Then he suggested why not reach for a "best case scenario" and see ourselves larger, happier, more liberated, wealthier and having more time to relax and spend time doing the things we want to do. When we release the defense mode, our entire creativity expands and reaps greater results. We feel healthier and greatly reduce stress. The trouble is that more and more people are experiencing blocks in their their day to day thinking . With ever increasing distractions on the information highways, the busy workweek schedule and a full family life there is little time and energy left for working on thoughts we really want to think. That is why, thankfully, the Ancient Masters have spent their lives considering these challenges and devising ways to lighten the load of day to day living. The "Sen Yantra System" with its roots in these timeless teachings is now being introduced in Vancouver this month. I know that existing students and new ones will be so enriched by this Wisdom. I have used various components of this practice for years and it has made all the difference in my life.

Ten years ago I would have never posted a blog. I would have been much too shy. I would never have attempted to paint and draw and dive into digital artwork because I thought that was a world that belonged to people with talent and training. I would never have attemped to pick up a guitar to answer the call of my heart to write songs of longing and aspiration. I would never have known the ecstasy of hours of fantastic release and discovery. I knew then that my heart ached to create but I felt blocked. I had felt that way ever since I could remember. Every tool, every saying, every teaching that my Teacher offered, I dove wholeheartedly into so that the pain inside me would be released and I could start to live the way I choose. Layers of resistance and judgement were peeled away during those years. So much conditioning from the past had no more place in my thoughts. The more heaviness that fell away, the more came the hunger to express and explore the inner self. Images rose out of the songs and again out of the images more stories. Books could have never taught me this about myself. This had to be activated through direct experience.

During the call, the gauntlet fell again challenging me to greater heights in my thinking. What will I do with all of this? After spending some considerable time in defense mode, my daily journaling helped me open up and to crystalize new and greater thoughts. I will not fail in this quest to master my life. Two years ago, the picture in today's posting came together. I thought it was awful but I kept it. It was very difficult to look at pictures of myself. Working with images of other people first helped me to break down many resistances. Finally, with detachment I can now play with images of myself and have fun with them. I think lifetimes of self-criticism are now obliterated.

And so I return to what I started blogging about today. So many beautiful people have come and gone in my life. Sometimes they were just there for a few moments and we exchanged something wonderful. Sometimes they stayed in my life for years and always supported me during times of weakness and strength. Sometimes they live far away and we hardly connect, but there is this unending feeling of love between us. Narayan's love is always in my heart and my unending reverence for my profound Teacher ever lifts my life. By seeing in myself what they see, I fall in love with myself and the beautiful consequence is that my belief level skyrockets.

Here's to raising our belief level and creating a world of joy, peace and freedom.


Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Am a Center of Glorious Unlimited Expression

I Am a Center of Glorious Expression

"To realize the Truth:
It was always with me
though It was hidden.
Out of ignorance
I gave away control
over my thinking.
Now in this moment:
All the Power that ever was
or will be
flows alive through my beating heart.
All color...
All sound...
All feeling...
pour through from One Source.
Beauty awakens Imagination
onto the canvas of my life.
Everything is fluid.
Everything is exhuberant.
Everything swirls in and around me.
I choose this blossoming in Consciousness
and let go in rapture."

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Today's posting is based on chapters 10 - 13 of "Ancient Secret's of Success for today's World" by Tulshi Sen. To go deeper into the knowingness of where I come from and what exactly I was designed for requires some self-inquiry. Do I want to stay ordinary? How am I the designer of my destiny? When I close my eyes and see that "life is feeling", how do I integrate that knowing with expressing my highest self? Digital art takes me beyond the intellect and lets me play with the questions.

How does the old and limited world suddenly pass away? The author says that "intellectual wrangling" with these questions is futile. The obstacles to our thinking cannot be overcome by the mind. The security of the mind is not in the mind. It is in Consciousness. Yesterday a new friend sent me an amazing link to "TED Talks" to Dr.Jill Bolte Taylor and her experience with a massive brain hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of the brain. I had perused through her book "My Stroke of Insight" but hadn't really taken the time to read it. Watching Dr. Taylor gave me goosebumps on top of my goosebumps.

Here is a woman who spends her whole life as a scientist studying the brain. She is motivated by her brother's ordeal with mental illness and wants to undertake finding a cure. One day she suffers a massive stroke in her analytical brain and recalls for the audience what she went through during her seizure. I watch this woman explain what it feels like to have both sides of her brain guide her thoughts at different times. The awe and wonder of the right side experience gives her feelings of oneness with everything, interconnectedness with all energy and an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility. Then reeling back into the left hemisphere, she is aware of needing help and reaching out. Back and forth these experiences flash through her. Eventually the stroke incapacitates her language functions and motor skills and it takes her 8 long years to recover and feel ready to function in the world again. She tells the audience that while she rode in the ambulance during her seizure, she had a choice to either leave her body and stay in the peace or come back and tell others about her experience. At this point she is emotional and overcome by what she went through and still goes through. I am in awe of her courage and her stamina to repeat this story to help uplift mankind.

Her experience also touches me for other reasons. In the last two weeks of his life, Narayan suffered 3 massive seizures. They were terrifyng to witness because he felt so out of control. Each stroke would leave him more paralyzed and eventually in a coma. It was frightening to watch him forget who he was and where he was. Not for one moment did I sense that he was in darkness though. A light oozed out of him and all that came in contact with him. Occaisonally he would say a word out loud or make a gesture that would spread warmth and smiles throughout the room. One doctor, particularily noted for his lack of tact and personal charm came to his bedside to let us know that there was not much more the hospital could do. Narayan somehow reached and held this doctor's hand. As the doctor continued to speak I saw his face become red. I listened to the softening of his words and to the loving way he spoke about Narayan. I remember the tears welling in my eyes knowing that some power of majesty and unity was working through my beautiful man. Dr. Taylor spoke about feeling so limitless in her size that she wondered how in her enormity, she could ever fit back into her physical body. I wonder if Narayan was watching us from outside of his body as well? She said that she felt like she could touch every point in space. Maybe Narayan felt that too.

We are such complex beings. We focus so much on our ability to be intelligent and outwardly successful in everything we take on. Both Dr. Taylor's and Narayan's experiences urge my quest onward to know myself and my capacity to live a powerful and more balanced life. The Ancients who mastered themselves left timeless tools for us to overcome our own self limitations. These priceless practices transformed ordinary men and women into giants of their age. Narayan and I in his final year had practiced meditating and visioning while preparing ourselves for what would come. In us arose a deeper sense of peace and calmness. I was able to let go and give him space while he made peace with those he still had issues. He started a business and constantly found new and wonderful ways to appreciate me and how I loved him. Our romance expanded throughout our most challenging times.

Hear tonight once again, the Teacher who guided us and continues to guide me in the ways of conquering the Self and living a designers life. In this 3rd no-charge teleclass, he continues his subject of "Raising our Belief Level with the Master Key for Success".

Date: Thursday, September 3, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300
Conference Code: 302937

If you missed the last two calls, you can listen here.

On days like these I feel like I've just barely experienced the tip of the iceberg of my being. The funny thing is that the iceberg is all a part of the watery Ocean. It's a matter of this body melting and of letting go. It's a matter of holding the Vision of the Ocean until I Am completely One with It.

Sending you Ocean waves of happiness for your journey,

Ps Thanks so much for the link, Kami.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Great Sacred Dance of the Fool

Sacred Dance of the Fool

The Sacred Dance of the Fool

There is only One Beloved
In the wholeness of everything I Am
My fool heart dances in that knowing
My fool heart dances in that knowing

And my life becomes alive and animated
in a storm that rages all around
In Him there is no sound
In Him there is no sound

Then the world attempts to give me safety
To lean on crutches made of something
In Him there is a grander Nothing
In Him there is a grander Nothing

All around me are the lure of treasures
Made of earth in sweet decay
In Him there is a new sun rising
In Him there is a new sun rising

I play the game of hide and seek
Bury my head and come up for air
In Him I know He’s always there
In Him I know He’s always there

And how far away my dances take me
Until weary boned I feel alone
In Him I know that I Am Home
In Him I know that I Am Home

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Jotting down the beginnings of a poem in a coffee shop today I think about how we get so caught up in our chosen dramas until life gives us a little shake and reminds us that we are shooting a great movie here and will be asked to leave the stage at some point. The Great Beloved Creator draws all things back to One.

Reviewing the inventory of choices that have been on my plate lately I still marvel at how many times I get caught up in the heated dance of the external circumstances. In Chapter 10 of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", (A book of principles which my whole heart is determined to master this lifetime) my Teacher explains that by constantly looking back towards the cause which created a circumstance we find the reason. He draws a circle and shows how we tend to focus on the outline of the circle (circumstances) and forget that there is an Invisible centre that is radiating the entire circle we see. By diving into the centre of our thoughts we find the clue to changing the external circumstances around us. He writes:

"The relative must have an Absolute. Without an Absolute you cannot have a relative. There cannot be an outside without an Inside and there cannot be an Inside without an outside. We live all the time in two worlds, the Visible and the In-Visible. The visible is the effect and the In-Visible is the cause. The In-Visible is the Thought and the visible is the thing."

That sounds so simple. Just focus on the thought you want to have. Yet, how many times does the mind make decisions based on the exisitng bank account, job security, past experience and "whamooooo".... the decision to reach beyond our present physical means is rejected. The circumference keeps us trapped and we recreate our limitations over and over. I know this scenario all too well. It stares me in the face very often. I suddenly see the "great sacred dance of the fool" in this process. Reaching back to the Absolute or "Beloved" is my focus as I scribble some notes into my notebook:

"My circumstances do not make me.
My thoughts make me and my circumstances.
Where is my thought coming from?
Where is my thought coming from?
Where is my thought coming from?

When I was a little girl, I believed that God was this older white-haired kind of ghostly man figure that was everywhere all the time and He loved everybody. As I got older, somehow I began to believe that I had to do an awful lot to please that God so that I wouldn't be punished and sent to who knows where. I believed that He was compassionate but he also had alot of rage when He felt displeased. Over the years I realized how I had projected such human qualities into a deity. I did not realize that my perception of the Almighty was so limited and puny. Who am I to say I know That which created me? It is beyond the brain. How can the mind quantify and qualify beyond time and space and beyond every possible limitation? Yet I experience such reverence and love for That which created me and still continues to guide me in thought, word and deed.

This loving and mysterious "Limitlessness" becomes the center of my circle. The place where songs and poetry and romance come from. The mind needs training to remain vigilent and to not get lost in the circumference of life. I return to my tools of meditation and visioning again and again. I remember that every thought is a seed like an acorn already containing an oak tree. My Teacher says:

"Every thought is alive with the thing it manifests."

Looking around the coffee shop I see many dramas of life being discussed. Animated conversations of students, divorcees, grandmothers and business men create a single wave of flowing sound. This is the sound of the fool who comes here to dance and experiment, to discover and lose, to unfold and find the truth of life again. I look around me and think of Narayan. When he left this world, both his passport and driver's license remained in his sock drawer in our apartment. I would look at it and laugh sometimes because these cannot possibly explain who he was or is. Yet clearly there is a name and a date of birth and a handsome picture of a face on this earthly identification. I still haven't tossed them out because I choose to play the role of his beloved and our life here was such a part of the wonder of our togetherness. I still choose the sacred dance that knows we love each other forever.

I choose to dive deeper and deeper into myself. I want to master the principles of living a powerful and abundant life. It requires daily practice. I remind myself again and again of my Teacher's words:

"If your dream seems achievable then it is not a Vision but a to-do list".

It's ok to be a dancing fool. The Love that made me has a great sense of humor.


Friday, August 28, 2009

All I Ever Need is in My Heart

The Heart Contains All We Ever Need

"Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
helpless to resist the notes I write
for I compose the music of the night

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender
turn your face away
from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light
and listen to the music of the night

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes
Let your spirit start to soar
and you’ll as you’ve never lived before

Softly, deftly,
music shall caress you
hear it, feel it, secretly possess you
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness that you know
you cannot fight -
the darkness of the music
of the night

let your mind start a journey
through a strange, new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you
where you long to be
only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me,
Savor each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night...

You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night."

- Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Music of the Night"

Listening to this song from "Phantom of the Opera" over and over last night, it felt as though my thoughts were going through a cleansing of sorts. Ever since I can remember there was always a battle going on in my mind whether it was the forces of good and evil, light and dark, angels and demons. Both my religious and scientific training always tried to caution me about going the right way, the better way and the safe way. This influenced many of my life decisions to avoid the pitfalls and to just go the opposite way. What kind of choosing is that?

While shaping new paint images on on my digital canvas, my memory brought into focus a conversation with a new friend of mine. We were talking about love. She asked me what the opposite of love was. Without missing a beat, an answer came right out of my mouth.

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

We both stood there looking at each other and smiling. I remember that silence.

Last night's teleseminar with Tulshi Sen was called: "How Can I Believe I Can Have Whatever I Can Vision?". He emphasizes again and again that our capacity to imagine is our greatest power. When we start to calculate our dreams then we are not really visioning. When we are vying for safety then we are deluding ourselves because even the richest man has no safety. What if he becomes ill or loses all his money? My Teacher reiterated that all the riches and romance comes as a consequence when we have raised out own belief capacity. He said our "intention will always equal our reliance on Consciousness". Wow. His talks always stir me on the deepest level. Later, he recited a few lines from "Music of the Night" which I felt compelled to listen to for hours after the call. Of course then my digital tools came out to experience what I was feeling.

This song had always haunted me a bit because of my understanding of the "darker side". Now for the first time, I looked at it as the "Unknown" or the "NoThing" from which everything springs forth. What if "darkest dreams" were only those which had not been uncovered yet or had light shed on them yet. I had worn my YinYang earrings during the day and thought about the symbol of the white color in the black and the black color in the white. Isn't creation simply drawing forth from the darkness into the light over and over? We get so mesmerized by what has been created, we forget to draw from the well again and again. This is a great challenge of our time. I remember Tulshi Sen had said that everything around us: the computer, the lightswitch, the guitar, the clock on the wall, the clothes I wear are "all an embodiment of human imagination". He also said that nowadays many "efforts and apirations are stunted by the height of the belief level of a person".

For me this journey is getting more exciting and fantastic all the time. Oh I fall on my face here and there and feel frustrated, but so what? Diving back and forth from "what is already" and "what has not yet been" creates a most thrilling life. My mind finds new ways to embrace and draw from the mystery of this strange new world. All I need or ever will need is already in my Heart. There is my greatest strength. What is there to fear?

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

Knowing that is true Freedom.
"Get Real" takes on a whole new meaning now.

Sending smiles across the miles,

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Came an Elephant in the Garden at Night...

Came an Elephant into the Garden at Night

At first there was music…
In the darkness of the garden
Came an elephant
I know not from when or where
But he appeared one night out of the breeze
Exactly when I needed a friend in my thoughts
Giant he was with playful gait
He reached out his trunk and I held his head
I held on there releasing all my sadness
I held on there releasing everything inexpressible
And I knew he could take it
I knew he was invincible to my grief
I could not crush this mighty form
As I held on to him I saw great pictures
Of kings and rajas on his back
I saw the timeless kingdoms passing
But now was a moment just for me
I let go and ran my hands along his fine head
His skin felt thick and energy filled
Joy rushed through my body
My hands felt a wonderful pulsation
We sat in the grass together
Overlooking the majestic mountains of earth
Peace flooded my heart bringing courage once again.

Ganga Fondan, ‘09

This piece of art and prose is based on a Vision that came to me long ago. Listening to the fifth track of Tulshi Sen's "Consciousness Rising" a phenomenal piece of meditation music, a great and beautiful elephant approached and brought me strength and patience. I can never really describe the full impact of that experience but it was a poignant moment of transition and growth for me. It always amazes me what I learn about the force of imagination and its precious and necessary influence in the process of creating our lives. I never understood the significance of this faculty before.

I begin to see the value of stretching my imagination in all directions to explore my true thoughts and feelings about life. My challenge sometimes enters in when I wonder what I have to do to get what I really want. How much life will it suck out of me because my contracted mind often still feels hardwired to the fact that the bigger the dream the heavier the price tag for it. Singing and creating artwork helps me spend hours at a time concentrating in an expanded state. After hours of experiencig the creative flow, everything seems so accessible and easy again. I feel energized and trust that my heart will open doors for me again and again.

In last week's teleseminar, my teacher, Tulshi Sen talked about raising your belief level and that this cannot be done with the mind. We have to transcend the mind and reach for a higher region of of life. We must look beyond the past and see something new for ourselves. When we can feel something new, breathe it, taste it, touch it, embrace it, hear it, and know it then it is already there for us.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night's call. It is another generous freebee from the one who has helped elevate my life to heights that seemed impossible long ago. Step by step my heart moves me forward. Come and join the call:

Part 2 - You Cannot Raise Yourself Above Your Belief Level
Date: Thursday, August 27th, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300

Conference Code: 302937

(This teleseminar ia a prelude to the upcoming appearances in both Vancouver this September and and Toronto in November.)

Like the elephant experience that I expressed above, there was a phenomenal impact on my state of mind from the image that came. Where did that image come from? I cannot say. Many say that other worlds are communicating with us all the time. Others say that the power of imaginary interaction can feel real but is a psychological effect of the mind. I can't say one way or the other. All I know is that this experience helped me to release pent up feelings and receive waves of generous love throughout my whole body.

I know I want to raise my belief level even more. Someday I hope to pass on these tools for meditation and visioning in the same way I have received them. So many people around me everyday are so sick of their jobs and so tired of the day to day hassles. Many of them cannot survive a work day without coffee to keep them going during and a drink and smoke to make it through the night. They just want to be home and crash in front of the TV or computer and just forget about the day. They dread the morning already and just want to lose themselves a bit.

That used to be me. I realized there is so much more to experience. I know why we feel backed into a corner at times with no way out. No one has nurtured the greater faculties within us. Now the tools are available to do so.

The time has come to wake up. If not now, when?