Wednesday, September 23, 2009
“We agreed to love in that dimension
Where neither breath nor air exists
Where everything floats upward and onward
But the gravity of devotion persists
We agreed to go through the rituals
Of what longing and pain will permit
With no clue for the waiting five senses
To revel in one bit of it
So when I feel a clutching and clinging
And a gasping for life I once knew
And it feels like we’re deep underwater
And our faces are now turning blue
I let go of the physical fighting
I let go of the urge to survive
And in the waters of imagination
Feel a wonder abundantly live
In the waters of deeper perception
That my thinking cannot guarantee
My heart soaks in courage and trusting
That my Beloved is always with me.”
Ganga Fondan, 2009
This post is a tribute to the 14th Century poet, Kabir who said:
"I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty."
I look forward to another call with my Teacher tonight:
"How do I figure out what I want. I know what I need to do, but tell me how I can figure out what I want."
You can join in if you would like:
Listen through the phone or register and listen online with no long distance charges.
1. Through your phone line **************************************
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Time: 7:00pm Pacific/ 10:00pm Eastern
Dial In Phone Number: 1-312-878-0222
Access Code: 479-589-816# (long distance charges do apply). **************************************
2. Listen on your computer Just register with our conferencing system(Go To Webinar) by clicking on the link below: (This system does require you to have speakersconnected to your computer). To register click this link:https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/395101579
*These Raise Your Belief Level Audio Webinars are open to anyone and everyone interested in success.
It is always inspiring and deeply moving to have an opportunity to learn from a true leader. Artwork and songs and poetry have come from deep within using the tools and methods he teaches about. He is a Master of the ancient teachings and knows the 21st century mindset and its challenges to reach out for all that life has to offer. This blog is about so many of the changes and transformations I have gone through over the past years as a direct result of practicing these methods. Courage and peace have come into my day to day experiences. Joy permeates everything I do. The wellspring of creative ideas and the thirst to embrace my world fully continues in every moment.
This posting today is my only work so I'm off to go on an adventure today. May the life of your dreams shower upon you and may you consciously be awake and in awe for every second of it.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
"What is this inside calling
that my outside wants to see?
Do I run from my heart’s longing
or does it run away from me?
Am I master of my thoughts
or a slave of inner whim?
Why do I always question:
What condition am I in?
Are my hopes for safe tomorrows
locked in yesterday once more
or do I feel a pang of something
I have never felt before?
Do I run away from dreaming
out of fear of what may come?
Does this suppression ever serve me
because its what I’ve always done?
Am I not more than just this body
made of flesh and blood and mind?
What could be more important
than this quest for all mankind?
What is our expectation
every moment of the day?
Will we finally turn to feel it
Or will we always run away?"
Ganga Fondan, 2009
This artwork and poem is inspired by yesterday’s teleseminar given by Tulshi Sen in which he emphasized listening to the expectant and romantic heart within. By transcending the fearful and anxious mind we “arouse the dormant powers of life and consider that which was thought to be impossible.”
While playing with my digital canvas, I wondered again about the questions raised in the call. What do I expect from my life? What do I long for? Where will I be six months from now? A year from now? Ten years from now? I have to admit that sometimes I do only think about paying my bills and making sure that everything is in place for next month again. Then I have to laugh because money has always come and gone in my life. Fantastic experiences filled with affluence would flow in and there were other times when I lived on less than $10.00 a day. From basking on the beaches in the South of France to appreciating a buck and change for a Tim Hortons coffee, the tides of life give and take again. What I've learned from my Teacher is that regardless of my circumstances, my romantic heart continues to dream and desire and call forth new experiences. Will I allow myself to stagnate out of "wanting to get by"? Never. The Four Proclamations are my navigational tools to stay in tune with my Source of strength within. Centred, my life is filled with poetry, music and creative images. Out of this play of romance, my day to day living becomes richer.
When Narayan left this world, I did not know what I could expect from life. My Teacher assured me that I would know great joy again. With the "Sen Yantra System" my frozen thoughts of grief loosened and intense desire began to surface. The more I practiced these simple techniques, the more I wanted to sing in aspiration and feel the dance of the poets and visionaries of the past. Thinking the thoughts I wanted to think was made easier through the use of symbols and mantras of sound. These kept and still keep my heart open and creative. My romatic self becomes actively contagious everywhere I go. It seems my love for Narayan keeps expanding into something greater than I ever knew before.
A few days ago I visited a friend in a huge loft apartment with an enormous skylight which poured in a wealth of sunlight over a magnificent electronic keyboard and acousitc guitar. The sound carried like a dream in that place as the music poured through me immersed in wonder under that fantastic skylight. While playing, I could feel my expectation level expanding. I could feel that I wanted this kind of light and resonance in the next place I live. I could see myself playing for others in space much like this one. I could feel my happiness alive and dancing simply for the joy of the experience. Every cell tingled with delight. I played for hours on the keyboard and then picked up the guitar and sang to my heart's content.
In that romance, I could feel my desire for the space, for the sound, for the elation itself. This experience supercharged me again and reminded me to never compromise any longing that comes from deep within. As I think all these thoughts, the artwork draws me in for a closer look. I see myself in all women and all women in me. We are One. The common thread of finding romance, relationships and riches weaves through all of us. Our journey is One and yet each of us lives our own phenomenal epic if we only listen to the inner songs.
If anyone is in the Vancouver area tomorrow, I urge you to attend Tulshi Sen's one day seminar on the "Sen Yantra System". Turn and feel your own expectation and live a romantic and prosperous life.
Have an awe-inspired week-end.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
“I will turn this world around and upside down for you
one gentle and vivid thought at a time.
No barricades can hold me back
because there is no yielding in romance.
Wind and Fire may roar and burn.
Water and air may suffocate all the ages
but my desire for you shall bring me back and back
until my heart revives and thrives in the elements themselves.
All beauty and creation rise in this heightened state.
The world of our choosing opens full of grace and peace.
Every obstruction falls and fades into oneness
to reveal the wonder of another sacred and noble thought.
Like a delicate flower set adrift onto a remote and quiet stream
this thought dances outward in precious ripples
reveling with romance in a mighty and generous Sea.”
Ganga Fondan, 2009
After last night's fantastic teleseminar with Tulshi Sen, "How Can I Keep from Self-Sabotaging", I realized something that found expression in the art and words of today's posting. Something that he said remained in my thoughts. He told us about sitting near a stream and seeing a willow leaf gently falling into the water and making ripples. The leaf itself was like a thought creating outward flowing waves or impressions on the water. As I looked out my window this morning and stared at all the newly built high rises and people in my view, I wondered what that soft and gentle willow leaf falling into a stream could teach me.
I see it falling in the water of my mind. The leaf is light as a feather and yet it causes ripples in the water. Like subtle thoughts of kindness and tenderness, it etches a current into the lifestream that moves even mountains. Giving someone eye contact, listening to what they say and smiling are all such seemingly small acts that open a heart or touch a soul in the instant. In my daily life, adding a silent pause before communicating a response has given me time to witness a greater connection byond the conversation. Pronouncing words sincerely and clearly has lightened many interactions which began in a state of stress. These are all examples of ripples that people generate intentionally to create a more peaceful world. Our actions are like willow leaves falling into a moving stream.
Instead of a leaf, my digital canvas calls forth a fragile pink blossom filled with the spark of a beautiful intention. It has no other ambition but to make the world more beautiful and romantic. It is set free to find its manifestation in the waters of life. The circle rings get bigger and bigger. This shape reminds me of how we create our world. In Ancient Secrets of Success, chapter 10 : Centering Yourself for Success" , my Teacher writes:
"The center is the cause of the circumference. Without the center it is impossible to have a circumference. The centre is thought and the circumference is the thing. The center generates the radius from itself to reproduce the circumference. In the same way your thought will reach out to generate, with all the power that ever was or will be in the Universe, and radiate your thought into manifestation as seen by you in the center, your Absolute, your In-Visible world."
Wouldn't it be more powerful to throw boulders into the water or mountains themselves to create tidal wave ripples that will create more powerful circumferences? Wouldn't it be more powerful to drop a whole tree into the water rather than rejoice in a single bud or leaf falling? The digital art continues to unfold while the colors and the shapes find and lose their focus. I want to know the answer.
I remember living in tidal wave thoughts. For the most part, these were fear based and founded in worry. It felt difficult to navigate the day to day activites of life. There was no peace inside. Feelings of not being good enough or being abandoned fell and crashed like great objects thrown into a river. Turbulence spread to every other aspect of my life. My actions became more and more defensive and self-preserving. Knowing that the In-Visible center of my Being creates my circumstances has helped me to make tremendous shifts in my thought world. Using the tools that my Teacher offered, opened up a new way of seeing the world. They loosened my imagination and calmed my thinking so that the creative and romantic wellsprings could be brought forth.
Singing quietly in a candlelit room at night could move mountains in my life. Silently writing new ideas into a notebook could change my interactions with countless people later in the day. The power of one picture of art could stare back at me and tell me stories about my experiences. These ripple effects were the foundations of inner transformations happening. The outer experience became more effortless and tireless. Everything became more meaingful and immediate. The Four Proclamations declare our freedom to create in this way.
Staring at the beautiful image on the computer screen, I see myself in the romance between the hand, the blossom and the water. I am all these. My heart sets another intention. That my mind may be free from the clutches of my intellect which holds me in the previous dramas of all past conditioning and continuously sabotages my feelings of unity. This liberation is a lifelong journey ever unfolding in wonder and joy. Suddenly I can feel the gift of one willow leaf falling into a trickling stream. The ripple waves have touched my heart through the imagination of my Teacher and now onward to you.
What will your own intention now release into the waters of life?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
“It begins with only One Song.
We discover ourselves in That.
Within a solitary vibration emerges a blueprint of life.
Stirring the melodious heart of every cell,
this sound flows like a cool clean river
cascading playfully through us.
In this glorious awakening we experience this Song
through a spectacular crescendo of feeling.
We each find our individual voice
effortlessly and freely,
uniquely and boldly
to express over and over
the endless harmonious possibilities
of One abundant Whole Note.”
Ganga Fondan, 2009
The first time I ever heard his voice, a deep feeling of familiarity rushed through me. He strummed the guitar gently and curled his lips to meticulously pronounce the words of the song that came. His blue eyes stared into mine and his head bobbed up and down ever so slightly. I close my eyes now and still hear the beautiful resonance of his sound. Then came times we sang privately together immersed in only the sweetest world of the moment. Our union planted generous seeds for self-discovery in our unity. From that wellspring still rises such fantastic joy. From this joy, the fulfillment of art and poetry abundantly flourishes.
Falling in love, blossoming in love and letting go of attachment to form in that love opens a way to experiencing a Truth and feeling of oneness with more of life. Music was and is such a powerful form of this connection with others and with oneself. Through Narayan's encouragement, this journey through sound seemed inviting and uplifting. His approach to songs was honest and never forceful. He found his own way through them. He never tried to sing like somebody else. He tried to find his own answers in the music of others and eventually in his own creations. A profound conversation between us forever changed the way I looked at songwriting and singing.
In our second year together, my desire to write songs out of poetry started to escalate and after feverishly working on something that took weeks to finish, I sat down and started to sing him this song of unrequited love. It was about a man who would never find love because of his circumstances while the woman of his dreams entered his day to day experiences. After finishing I looked up to see Narayan's face to see if he could write some music to it. He sat quiet for a while and started to shake his head. I'll never forget his words:
"Why on earth would you even write a depressing sad song like that? The world is such a hard place to find happiness in, why would you want to discourage anyone with sadness?. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel."
It took me half a day to digest his words. I felt defensive. It took many years to be able to express deep feelings in writing and now he was criticizing me for sharing them. I looked over the words on the page. There was a lesson laced in this experience and I wanted to find it. After sitting quietly with this for a while I knew he was right. He had given me a great gift, only then I didn't realize how great.
Narayan and I had endured not only his challenges with health but had seen so many people not make it through the same rigorous treatments. Their famililies had clung to any hope that surrounded them and in the end had to let go and bravely move on with their lives. In such a small slice of life, I was surrounded with people who lived each day to find something stronger than themselves to cling to. No wonder Narayan wanted nothing to do with a sad song. Why would I put him through that? Why would I put myself through that? Suddenly it seemed so clear. Music is a tool made up of ideas and melodies. When brought forth with an intention, this tool can uplift and prolong intense feelings of hope and faith.
A few years later, we met our Teacher. He reiterated Narayan's refusal to worry or linger in painful feelings by passing onto us the ancient meditations on the Four Proclamations. Finding strength and power in the wholeness of life while seemingly impossible circumstances torment our day to day realities is possible by transcending the mind. There is no need to dwell in limitations that would keep us from joy and abundance. We can raise our belief level and accomplish the dreams once thought completely impossible. We hold this Vision through our songs. We claim our "I Am'ness" in the Universe.
In last Thursday's teleseminar, my Teacher explored the idea of choosing to see the "best case scenarios" rather than the worst. It is in this "seeing" that the blueprint is created and maintained. If you want to hear the call again, just go to his new blog.
Here is the info for tomorrow night's call:
Date: Thursday, September 10, 2009
Time: 7 PM PST (10 PM EST)
Dial In Phone Number: 1-916-233-3089
Access Code: 144-042-761#
Everyone is welcome to come and listen in.
In posting this artwork and poetry today I think about my silent pledge to Narayan to always find ways to uplift, encourage inspire and aspire. Through the use of ancient meditational and visioning tools so many self-limiting behaviors have dropped away. I see how many others around me still struggle in their worries and doubts about finding happiness. In my intention to increasingly gain control over my thinking and become a master designer of happiness, my heart aspires daily to make the journey lighter for those around me as well. We are alive and wholly connected in this grande symphony of the One glorious exquisite Note rising out of No-Thing promising us everything.
Feel it awaken and resonate in you at this very moment,
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Every time you look at me I wonder what you see.
I wonder what your heart feels when it says:
“You are so beautiful.
You are so powerful and precious.
You can have anything you truly want.
Your every desire is a promise fulfilled.”
Even after being pushed around,
disappointed, dried out and cried out
while wading knee-deep in darkness and doubt…
My Vision rises again and again
trying harder to see what you see
and to feel what you feel when you look at me.
In that reaching pulsates a great Joy
nudging me to the edge of knowing for myself
that we are One.
That we are powerful and precious…
That we can have anything we truly want…
Every desire is a promise fulfilled.
All we need to do is fall into our Belief.
Ganga Fondan 2009
This "you" in the prose above embodies everyone who loves me. A great wave of heartfelt friendships have blessed me over and over. In my eagerness to love others, I often neglected to fully receive from them. This posting today focusses on my desire to be more present with all those in my life. I want to listen more and hear the words from the heart. I want to accept a compliment or a gift without feeling like I have to reciprocate or feel worthy of the moment. Oh I've come a long way, but there is still much further to reach in fully loving my Self.
Last night's telephone call with my Teacher was fantastic. There were people from all over the United States and Canada listening in. The topic was once again about raising our belief level. He asked us many questions and invited us to embrace a much enlarged imagination in order to really try and answer them honestly. One thing that really stuck with me was the idea of being in "defense mode". Oh it can be so subtle. Someone makes a suggestion about something we can aspire to and immediately we navigate our present circumstances for the likelihood of accepting this idea. We reach for what he calls "the worst case scenario" and brace ourselves for it. Perhaps we may lose our job, our pension fund, our relationship, our house...so we better not risk taking a chance on ourselves. Then he suggested why not reach for a "best case scenario" and see ourselves larger, happier, more liberated, wealthier and having more time to relax and spend time doing the things we want to do. When we release the defense mode, our entire creativity expands and reaps greater results. We feel healthier and greatly reduce stress. The trouble is that more and more people are experiencing blocks in their their day to day thinking . With ever increasing distractions on the information highways, the busy workweek schedule and a full family life there is little time and energy left for working on thoughts we really want to think. That is why, thankfully, the Ancient Masters have spent their lives considering these challenges and devising ways to lighten the load of day to day living. The "Sen Yantra System" with its roots in these timeless teachings is now being introduced in Vancouver this month. I know that existing students and new ones will be so enriched by this Wisdom. I have used various components of this practice for years and it has made all the difference in my life.
Ten years ago I would have never posted a blog. I would have been much too shy. I would never have attempted to paint and draw and dive into digital artwork because I thought that was a world that belonged to people with talent and training. I would never have attemped to pick up a guitar to answer the call of my heart to write songs of longing and aspiration. I would never have known the ecstasy of hours of fantastic release and discovery. I knew then that my heart ached to create but I felt blocked. I had felt that way ever since I could remember. Every tool, every saying, every teaching that my Teacher offered, I dove wholeheartedly into so that the pain inside me would be released and I could start to live the way I choose. Layers of resistance and judgement were peeled away during those years. So much conditioning from the past had no more place in my thoughts. The more heaviness that fell away, the more came the hunger to express and explore the inner self. Images rose out of the songs and again out of the images more stories. Books could have never taught me this about myself. This had to be activated through direct experience.
During the call, the gauntlet fell again challenging me to greater heights in my thinking. What will I do with all of this? After spending some considerable time in defense mode, my daily journaling helped me open up and to crystalize new and greater thoughts. I will not fail in this quest to master my life. Two years ago, the picture in today's posting came together. I thought it was awful but I kept it. It was very difficult to look at pictures of myself. Working with images of other people first helped me to break down many resistances. Finally, with detachment I can now play with images of myself and have fun with them. I think lifetimes of self-criticism are now obliterated.
And so I return to what I started blogging about today. So many beautiful people have come and gone in my life. Sometimes they were just there for a few moments and we exchanged something wonderful. Sometimes they stayed in my life for years and always supported me during times of weakness and strength. Sometimes they live far away and we hardly connect, but there is this unending feeling of love between us. Narayan's love is always in my heart and my unending reverence for my profound Teacher ever lifts my life. By seeing in myself what they see, I fall in love with myself and the beautiful consequence is that my belief level skyrockets.
Here's to raising our belief level and creating a world of joy, peace and freedom.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
"To realize the Truth:
It was always with me
though It was hidden.
Out of ignorance
I gave away control
over my thinking.
Now in this moment:
All the Power that ever was
or will be
flows alive through my beating heart.
pour through from One Source.
Beauty awakens Imagination
onto the canvas of my life.
Everything is fluid.
Everything is exhuberant.
Everything swirls in and around me.
I choose this blossoming in Consciousness
and let go in rapture."
Ganga Fondan, 2009
Today's posting is based on chapters 10 - 13 of "Ancient Secret's of Success for today's World" by Tulshi Sen. To go deeper into the knowingness of where I come from and what exactly I was designed for requires some self-inquiry. Do I want to stay ordinary? How am I the designer of my destiny? When I close my eyes and see that "life is feeling", how do I integrate that knowing with expressing my highest self? Digital art takes me beyond the intellect and lets me play with the questions.
How does the old and limited world suddenly pass away? The author says that "intellectual wrangling" with these questions is futile. The obstacles to our thinking cannot be overcome by the mind. The security of the mind is not in the mind. It is in Consciousness. Yesterday a new friend sent me an amazing link to "TED Talks" to Dr.Jill Bolte Taylor and her experience with a massive brain hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of the brain. I had perused through her book "My Stroke of Insight" but hadn't really taken the time to read it. Watching Dr. Taylor gave me goosebumps on top of my goosebumps.
Here is a woman who spends her whole life as a scientist studying the brain. She is motivated by her brother's ordeal with mental illness and wants to undertake finding a cure. One day she suffers a massive stroke in her analytical brain and recalls for the audience what she went through during her seizure. I watch this woman explain what it feels like to have both sides of her brain guide her thoughts at different times. The awe and wonder of the right side experience gives her feelings of oneness with everything, interconnectedness with all energy and an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility. Then reeling back into the left hemisphere, she is aware of needing help and reaching out. Back and forth these experiences flash through her. Eventually the stroke incapacitates her language functions and motor skills and it takes her 8 long years to recover and feel ready to function in the world again. She tells the audience that while she rode in the ambulance during her seizure, she had a choice to either leave her body and stay in the peace or come back and tell others about her experience. At this point she is emotional and overcome by what she went through and still goes through. I am in awe of her courage and her stamina to repeat this story to help uplift mankind.
Her experience also touches me for other reasons. In the last two weeks of his life, Narayan suffered 3 massive seizures. They were terrifyng to witness because he felt so out of control. Each stroke would leave him more paralyzed and eventually in a coma. It was frightening to watch him forget who he was and where he was. Not for one moment did I sense that he was in darkness though. A light oozed out of him and all that came in contact with him. Occaisonally he would say a word out loud or make a gesture that would spread warmth and smiles throughout the room. One doctor, particularily noted for his lack of tact and personal charm came to his bedside to let us know that there was not much more the hospital could do. Narayan somehow reached and held this doctor's hand. As the doctor continued to speak I saw his face become red. I listened to the softening of his words and to the loving way he spoke about Narayan. I remember the tears welling in my eyes knowing that some power of majesty and unity was working through my beautiful man. Dr. Taylor spoke about feeling so limitless in her size that she wondered how in her enormity, she could ever fit back into her physical body. I wonder if Narayan was watching us from outside of his body as well? She said that she felt like she could touch every point in space. Maybe Narayan felt that too.
We are such complex beings. We focus so much on our ability to be intelligent and outwardly successful in everything we take on. Both Dr. Taylor's and Narayan's experiences urge my quest onward to know myself and my capacity to live a powerful and more balanced life. The Ancients who mastered themselves left timeless tools for us to overcome our own self limitations. These priceless practices transformed ordinary men and women into giants of their age. Narayan and I in his final year had practiced meditating and visioning while preparing ourselves for what would come. In us arose a deeper sense of peace and calmness. I was able to let go and give him space while he made peace with those he still had issues. He started a business and constantly found new and wonderful ways to appreciate me and how I loved him. Our romance expanded throughout our most challenging times.
Hear tonight once again, the Teacher who guided us and continues to guide me in the ways of conquering the Self and living a designers life. In this 3rd no-charge teleclass, he continues his subject of "Raising our Belief Level with the Master Key for Success".
Date: Thursday, September 3, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300
Conference Code: 302937
If you missed the last two calls, you can listen here.
On days like these I feel like I've just barely experienced the tip of the iceberg of my being. The funny thing is that the iceberg is all a part of the watery Ocean. It's a matter of this body melting and of letting go. It's a matter of holding the Vision of the Ocean until I Am completely One with It.
Sending you Ocean waves of happiness for your journey,
Ps Thanks so much for the link, Kami.