Friday, January 22, 2010

Wake Up Dreamchild of the Sun and Shine

Wake Up Sweet Child of the Sun and Shine

"The moon shines in my body,

but my blind eyes cannot see it:

The moon is within me, and so is the sun.

The unstruck drum of Eternity is sounded within me;
but my deaf ears cannot heart it.

So long as man clamours for the I and the Mine,
his works are as naught:
When all love for the I and the Mine is dead,
then the work of the Lord is done.
For work has no other aim
than the getting of knowledge:
When that comes then work is put away.

The flower blooms for the fruit:
When the fruit comes, the flower withers.
The musk is in the deer,
but it seeks it not within itself:
It wanders in the quest of grass."

-Kabir (13th Century Ecstatic Poet)
(Translation by Rabindranath Tagore)

We sit quietly sometimes overwhelmed with our own smallness. In a world where gigantic governments have revealed themselves as power mongers and technological advancements have made our lives simpler but not easier, how do we find a way to live in harmony with the world and all of its challenges? How do we fulfill our purpose and make sure that we leave the world a better place than the one we came into? This is often a question on my mind. Through contemplation, meditation, soulful creativity, and a sense of humor, the inward search becomes the only source of aspiration and hope. The tremendous connection to everything is not possible when we are still asleep .

A soft unspoken voice endlessly resonates within us "Wake Up" and know yourself in unity with everything and everyone. In a blade of grass, in the song of a bird, in the wind whispering through the trees: there is Truth reflecting back to us. Breathe into yourself all possibilities and lose all rigid constraints of old ideas. Breathe into yourself a new song that sings outward from the depth of your own Being. Express that uniqueness out into the world the same way a monarch butterfly dances in its joy or a baby bird emerges from its egg and declares its sound to all of creation. We have not come here to live a separate existence from all things around us but to feel our oneness with it.

When sadness and loneliness crept into my day, I would often occupy myself with Kabir's words. I wanted to wake up to the reason I was left behind here on this earth and my lover had to leave. Often times I just wanted to sleep the day away because the answers would not come. Kabir's poetry always lifted my heart. Over the years, various layers have shed themselves from the understanding of the words and have found greater depths in my Being. I wanted to sing these words, draw these words and absorb them into my days. Where was that moon and sun in me? Why do I work so hard and feel so unsuccessful at times? Why does the deer always run everywhere else to look for the musk instead of within? How do we find balance in the attachments of love and then easily let go? Day by day, month by month and year by year new insights would open the floodgates of creativity and gratitude.

And so I look into the girl in the picture. She is the pondering and contemplative child of the Universe that aches to know herself fully. All of creation shines out of her and everything around her. There is a slight smile on her lips because she is feeling the arousal of Consciousness more and more. She is well on her way. The greater world is training her to overcome the lesser world of attachment to things and circumstances. She realizes the peace and abundance are nowhere to be found in the outside existence but stream from a greater exhaustless wellspring within. It's an excruciating and ecstatic journey all at the same time. More and more the moments of joy linger into all aspects of life. A child of the sun cannot help but shine.

PS...I'll be flying out west so I will be back in a couple of weeks!!!! Love to you!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

"The Manifestation is Already in the Vision"

“The Manifestation is Already in the Vision” – Tulshi Sen

"We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. Yet it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities but its own talents." - Bruce Lee

These two quotations are the subject of this digital art today. So many sources of this same message keep showing up in my day to day life lately:

First there was this woman at the park with her fourteen year old daughter who wants more than anything to become a dancer and her mother quickly added that this young girl didn't have what it takes to make it as a dancer. I smiled into the eyes of the girl and confidently told the mother that she will be a dancer if she sets her mind to it. It kind of came pouring out of me with such certainty that the three of us stood there quietly for a while.

Then later in the day while watching the movie "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" there was a part where Dan Millman's Mentor, Socrates asks Dan why he loves the rings in gymnastics and Dan tells him that he has loved it since childhood. It was the first thing he ever remembers identifying with the love of doing something. He found the love in what he loved to do. He reconnected with his desire to do the routine perfectly rather than focus on winning at the national tryouts. His legendary performance afterwards was only icing on the cake compared to the fulfilled vision of each momentary move. This is a true story about an athlete who shattered his leg so badly in a motorcycle accident, he defied all odds by competing nationally again.

In his book, Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World, my Teacher writes:

"The Secret to Success is to know your power and to know that Consciousness is the only power that creates. You are One with that power. When you have an Intention you have to let go and know that this all Power will bring all circumstances, conditions, and people to manifest your Intentions. You don't do anything: You just see it being done." - p145

Today while eating a veggie pita in a small cafe , I thought about the scene in the movie "Matrix" where the young orphan child at the Oracle's apartment teaches Neo how to bend a spoon. The youngster says:

"Do not try to bend the spoon. Instead realize the Truth...There is no spoon. It is you yourself that bends."

Then tonight, while listening to one of my favorite albums by Prosad, I review his lyrics from the "Big Bag of Rice" track:

"All my money's in my heart
My mind tells me that it's out there
I tell my mind that you are blind
Though you have a thousand eyes
What's in my heart is all I need
If you only listen to your heart
Then you'll get all the money you can see
Inside you, in your heart
What's in your heart is all you need"

By this time I take the Bruce Lee quote out of my pocket and settle down with my new mouse in hand and see what flows out of this feeling of synchronicity. I feel light. I feel the dance of the day. I feel gratitude for desire itself. Where do the songs come from? Where does the poetry and the art shower through me from? I have no idea. I only feel the desire to express what is inside.

Tonight I revel in the very idea:
"Consciousness Creates my Reality."

By the way...this new mouse is heaven...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

You Slipped Through the Keyhole of Time and Space...

Wandering Freely Through the Keyhole of Time and Space

My Dearest Narayan,
Like a child wanders off uninhibitedly, you silently left. Your breath became less and less. The rising and falling of your chest ceased. Did you feel us all singing and loving you? Did you know that we allowed no sadness into the room as you took your majestic leave? How beautifully your face shone. Like in those sacred moments of lovemaking when your life force would hurl itself through my very being, I felt the rush of blood under my skin as you left. I felt your silent cry of freedom throughout every cell of my existence. Everything was still and dancing all at the same time.

Every year on this day, I honor your memory in some special way. There is not a day that passes where you are not in my heart, but on this day...a special light shines because I know that you overcame the great mystery I still find myself in. I know that you went to a place of perfection because I felt a peace I have never known before as you left. I know it was a gift from you.

And so I type away on this computer today. I stare into the digital image that came. A DreamChild to represent our life together. That child of song and music and poetry who is suckled on our romance and the wisdom of ancient times. This child grows, my love. This child wanders as you did through the keyhole of all limitation and knows everything in Love. This child comforts me when I miss you too much and lifts my heart to those places where I know you are. This is a child of Heaven and Earth.

Sometimes I feel that I cannot bear another moment without you. Sometimes I cry for myself and judge myself for these foolish tears. I feel no strength and then...the songs come again and I know that my heart can endure anything. What is this small lifetime when we have eternity. The human life is a beautiful one, but you help me to look up and try to rise above it. I came here to find that higher love that you call me to. I close my eyes and see your face. Your perfect smiling chiseled face. I am still so in love with you.

I know you are happy. I feel it. I honor you today and the magnificent impact you still have on my life. I take no steps without you. Often I think of your beautiful feet and how I used to rub them on the harder days. Those beautiful feet I kissed as you drifted away. Those beautiful feet that wander the foot halls of Eternity.

Happy Narayan's Nirvana my Mr.Bluesky.

your "Angel Eyes"

Friday, January 8, 2010

Take me Upward into Deathless Love

Let Me Soar Beyond Deathless Love...

“Here I stand on another mountain
The view from here it stirs my soul
The journey was long and hard
And I’m not sure what I feel inside
Conquering and being conquered
A weariness that holds my mind
My knees are shaking
and the tears are rolling
and the sky is listening
Waiting for my heart to know the way
But I’m not sure and so I say:

Lead Thou me onward
Oh my Soul
Take my life upward
Oh take me Home
Beyond these mountains
and the valleys I’ve known
Oh my Soul Take me Home…

So here I stand again and singing
Another circle feels complete
I want to be more than a bird in a golden cage
opening and closing that door
A weariness that holds my mind
My knees are shaking
And the tears are rolling
and the sky is listening
waiting for my heart to know the way
but I'm not sure and so I say

Lead Thou me onward
Oh my soul
Take my life upward
Oh take me home
beyond these mountains
and the valleys I've know
Oh my Soul take me Home

To lift the weariness that holds the mind
To see each day anew
What price would be too high
to spread these wings and fly
to soar the freedom of the breeze

Lead Thou me onward oh my Soul..."

Ganga Fondan, 2009

These lyrics came last year on November 19th, which would have been Narayan’s and my 16th anniversary. This has become my theme song for 2010. New strength and wisdom guides me now and my aspirations soar through the Universe with Joy. I do not want to live in old habits and thus create a new paradigm for my life. From this mountain peak I see no higher earthly place to reach and so look way up…

The words for this post are the same ones that came pouring out of me in response to to a young man's plea earlier this evening. He wondered why he always finds himself in the same predicaments over and over. He looked frustrated and angry. After a moment of reflection I saw my own life like a movie in my mind and gave a response to this question:

Sooner or later we realize that there is a much larger picture around the small events of our individual lives. We cannot see it at the time, but these things seem to become clearer later on. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the dynamic of the moment and attach ourselves to that one event, we live very frustrated and painful lives. Sooner or later it becomes necessary to decide on a better outcome and focus on that in order to change the paradigm of our experiences. I no longer think that we have come here to change the world but to be transformed and transcend the smaller experiences of our life in order to master ourselves in any given situation.

I could see that it was difficult for this young man to hear this. His experience has shown him that life is unfair and unjust and he feels tired of fighting an uphill battle. There are so many things that I wanted to say but I could see that it was not the right time to say them. This phase of feeling the futility of action is necessary sometimes in order to feel the ache to reach higher. Who can say if life is fair? I think he needed to speak what he felt more than hearing but I know that it was important to have that conversation because I grew from it.

As I type these words and watch the curser on the screen, I think about how much has happened in my life to get me to this exact moment. Every second of it was worthwhile and important to my growth even though at the time, I couldn't see how. My Teacher says that even a willow leaf falls from a tree with purpose. I think about the words to the song above. It is time to spread my wings and leap to higher ground. There is no earthly mountain higher than the one I stand on at this very moment. I'm tired of sinking and soaring. I close my eyes and invoke a higher path. This one will take me "heartward" again.

With every new transition there is a trust and a surrender to a higher Vision. With every new endeavor there is gain and loss again. This is the sacrifice of the Phoenix as she rises over and over in deathless Love. We are the generations of her renewal. I close my eyes and spread my arms open wide...

"Lead Thou me onward Oh my Soul
Take my life upward
Oh take me Home
beyond these mountains
and the valleys I've known
Oh my Soul
Take me Home"

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"My Songbird Singing Sings Her Songs"


"My Songbird singing sings her song as a birth goes wrong
Her mother is tormented by what she saw
as Songbird singing sings her song
Songbird's mother helplessly screams
the scream of a dying phoenix
Three years go by
No one hears Songbird singing her song
until they meet a friendly wise man
who hears Songbird singing her song
The wise man looked into her eyes and said softly:
Songbird singing, you will sing me your song twelve years past

The wise man waits patiently
and then at fifteen years of age
he gazed into her eyes
Songbird sang out loud her song
The wise man looked into the eyes of the dead phoenix
He whispered words of wisdom God sent
with kindness and understanding
The dead phoenix at that moment started to ascend
Started to mend because she heard Songbird sing her song

Today as yesterday,
the wise man still looks into the eyes of Songbird singing
Songbird singing was once without
Now she is whole
Songbird sings mariake songs every day
all day long"

-Roger Valentine

I found this heart-wrenching poem while surfing on youtube. It was written by Roger Valentine and posted for a friend with autism. Beneath the surface of the words is a very human journey that many of us have taken and still take. Silence and suffering paralyzes us in darkest chaos. In helplessness all seems to be lost and pointless. Eventually wisdom rejuvenates us with kindness and understanding. In this light we find our voice and our uniqueness. In joy we overflow with who we are meant to be. This poem is eloquently recited by Rajesh Vedpraksh whose silk laden vocals really add emotion to this superb piece. Thank-you kindly Mukhtarze for posting this.

Also if anyone knows more about this poem or its correct written form I would really like to know more.

This digital art is how my heart was stirred in this experience.
Listen to the poem here.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Face to Face with the Inner Teacher

Face to Face with the Inner Teacher

"There was a little girl who asked God:
How will there be peace on earth
with so much anger in my own family?
How can others in the world be my brothers and sisters
when my classmates are bullies and despise those who are different?
As a young teen she asked the Christed One:
How can there possibly be only one Creator
while each religion maintains its own exclusivity
of rules and regulations for salvation?
As a young woman she asked:
How can more people find true love
when the sanctity of womanhood is forgotten
and sex is no longer considered an act of Union?
When She saw one patient after another dying
from aggressive treatment of disease,
she asked the Heavenly Father:
How can there be a cure for fatal illness
when healing is a multinational business?
She called out to Jesus
To Mother Mary
To Krishna and Ram
She called out to Buddha
And Shiva, Vishnu and Brahman
She called out to Mother Earth and Father Sky
but it wasn't until she became a widow,
that she heard One small unspoken Voice whisper:
“It is by asking that we truly love
It is by giving we receive"
It was then that she asked her final question:
What is the purpose of my life?

In that swirling vacuum a song arose
Shining and brilliant like the Sun
In that instant was a great letting go
A surrendering to the way of Love
A relief from the aching to understand
everything on the outside
A surge of unforgettable Solitude
A wellspring of purpose fulfilled:

Ganga Fondan, 2010

Out of Art and Poetry : A New Blueprint

Staring into the artwork and reading the words, I see life in a new design:

What is it that keeps families at war with themselves? What keeps them from not forgiving and letting go of the pain of the past? I close my eyes and ask that these things may come to light for each person to be revealed and transcended.

With more peaceful families surely each child will hold a stronger foundation within him or her self to play and work together out of joy and a feeling of oneness. Innocence will be the foundations of faith and aspiration. I close my eyes and see the most powerful generation of children cooperating and building a new understanding that rises beyond our current knowledge of what it means to be a human being.

In this feeling of oneness, we readily accept the cultural, religious, educational and economic differences between us and know that we are rooted in One Love. I see the children of the world nurtured and centered in who they are and able to go where they want to go.

Rooted in One Love, mutual respect and integrity come again to the surface. We dance in a knowing that the highest form of creation still manifests itself in the womb of great imagination and possibility. We recognize this wonder reflected in the womb of woman and know that each of us emerged through that sacred temple. The feminine within each of us is the balancer and nurturer and the keeper of the great mystery. It is from this place that we see the needs of others as our own before the asking.

From deep within us flow the greatest ideals and wonders. From deep within us emerges a wellspring of joy and hope and vision. I see that disease in its simplest form, "dis-ease" finds its polar opposite and merges with ease. With ease all things are possible.

May all people who feel the anguish of an unhappy life find the courage to go to the source within themselves and see their relationships from the root cause. I close my eyes see this beautiful world growing and discovering itself more and more. I see that out of a poem is revealed a life work and out of a picture a new paradigm seed bursts open.

My Teacher says:
"Laced in every well formulated question is the answer revealed." - Tulshi Sen

Friday, January 1, 2010

Love and Music Electric Ignite 2010...

Auspicious Beginning to 2010...

I waited until noon before opening the case. The first day of the year had to be celebrated in an auspicious way and now was the time to begin. I had borrowed back the Fender amplifier from a friend and tenderly pulled Narayan's beloved “Squier Stratocater” out of its case. I stared back at my acoustic guitar and smiled. Although the acoustic had also been his and though I know he loved me, the Stratocaster was his true baby. He had taken her apart and meticulously rebuilt her. The smooth electric sound had permeated our years together. When Narayan passed on I was not attached to playing this guitar at all. There was something in its sound that made me frustrated and sad. I kept her close knowing that someday I would know what to do with her. Now somehow on this first day of the New Year, I felt the desire to feel the electric waves again. Plugging in the guitar and turning on the amp made a familiar “Ping” sound and I felt excited to start. It all felt so effortless. My fingers poured over the strings and my heart began to soar. Song after song, I could feel us together, while the six strings felt like waves of water. We danced in our love of music. I played the strings so gently and the smoothness of the sound put me in a trance. Oh how Narayan loved to play. He was the one who first really encouraged me to sing. He was the one who inspired me to create music in the name of Joy and Upliftment. And so for many hours of the first day of the year, I celebrated this music from the heart. I celebrated a most amazing man and I celebrated myself knowing that this year will unravel in all majesty and beauty filled with more awareness of Love and Oneness than I have ever known. This digital art is to honor and remember the wonder of Narayan and his continuous powerful presence in my life.

While writing this post today, i realize that Narayan was actually inclined to play left handed as a young boy. His mother had a guitar and one day he decided to take all the strings off and reverse them so it would be easier for him to manoever his fingers. She insisted that he put the string "the right way" again and so he learned to play right handed. Now the interesting thing about this is that we often wondered if his playing would have been different and should one actually be discouraged from playing the way that "feels" right. After all these years I feel so grateful that he did play right handed because being able to play his guitars after he left this world means everything to me. His heart still vibrates in the strings. Today I even thought that there must still be sweat somehow on the strings. Is that crazy? Love just does not make sense at all. Narayan is still with me every day and today I felt a little closer to his love in this electric sound.

I want to remember this day as a beginning, commemorate it and keep the momentum going this whole year. Narayan was one of the most courageous people I have ever met. His legacy in my heart lives on. I remember the love song he wrote for me on his stratocaster years ago:

"We belong together
Time for you and me
Sail the seas forever
Two as One but free..."

I still love you so much Narayan. You still make my life so beautiful. I feel so grateful for that.