By Listening, my Heart Sees and Sings Its Joy

Tonight a storm brews restless

It makes me feel uptight

I try to sing a peaceful song

But I just can’t seem to get it right

Oh let this darkness be removed

And cast into the sea

Of myself I do nothing

So I call the Warrior in me

Too many times I try it alone

And fall down deep in despair

And yet I know in each moment

You are always there

You lead me everywhere

Tonight I ask for a new song

From that kingdom deep within

I ask in that Holy Name

Creator of Everything

You lift this heart to sing

And then the darkness is removed

And cast into the sea

Of myself I do nothing

You are the Music in me

© Ganga Fondan, 1999

Journal Entry: December 29, 2011

By meditating on the 4 Proclamations, by continuously seeking new ways to express daily discoveries of unity and by playing with music and digital art, the sweetest revelations come one by one. This joy spills over into my day-to-day life and continues to lead me onward in such profound ways.

May you find the stories and songs of your Heart. May they guide your life forward towards more peace and prosperity in the Name of the One great Heart of all Creation.

"If you truly love yourself, you will take on the responsibility of self-direction." - Tulshi Sen

Run Where the Brave Dare Not Go

May you find and keep balance in Faith
Never stop believing in the impossible dream
The one that aches to be born through you
The one that seems the hardest to believe in
The one that makes every defeat a victory
The one that promises to be your greatest teacher

MAKE 2011 YOUR BRAVEST YEAR EVER!!!!!

December 25, 2011

After treating myself to How We Can Have Giant Visions , I am reminded again of how I have settled for comfort and convenience instead of really wholeheartedly embracing the desires of my heart. I want to start this new upcoming year with clarity and courage. In so many ways, meditating on the 4 Proclamations has strengthened my daily interactions with the world. I feel more and more connected to the people and events around me. Art and poetry richly flow through as Consciousness reveals profound and wonderful aspects of myself.

In the next few months, I will review all 18 chapters again in order to continue to master the timeless principles of living a life of self-direction. I cannot express enough gratitude for how these principles continue to transform my relationships with family and friends, my attitude towards what freedom means to me, my desire to truly follow my heart and my intention to expand happiness. Listening to this seminar again today, I can see the places where I still settle for the recycled thoughts and desires of others.

This is my life work: to master my thoughts.

We Are What We Think!!!!!

There Is No Death In Love

Wander far in the name of Love but she will not be contained

She is within the walls of our temples breaking them apart

She is within the stone idols before they are shaped

She dips her toes in the water of all that has never been conceived

Ever the invitation to create our world persists

A divine orchestra of sublime composition recalls

This grand theme plays in the mysterious trinity of seasons:

Creation, preservation and destruction

Within our darkest thoughts, her light shines

Enough to explode stars back into planets again

She is neither four sided nor six sided

And yet she breathes through any shape we give her

She is the cool evening wind during a sunset

Filling each blade of grass with the promise of a new day

Every brightly colored leaf that fell in agony last year

Sweetly opens once more in the face of an eager bud

In the embrace of union, we feel her exhilaration

In the pregnant belly of a woman, her miracle

In the eyes of a child we feel her innocence

And yet over and over the wanderer loses

That which permeates everything he is

In everything he loves and despises, she waits

Through him and without him the law insists

That there is no death in Love’s eternal womb

© Ganga Fondan, 2011

Let the Heart Lead the Head in the Dance of Love

There is no small offering for love

For she will burn you through and through

Until you let go of trying to lead

Until you realize she is the life itself

And all elements bend to her delight

And all you can really do is surrender

All you can really allow is the falling

Feel the ecstasy that comes with sacrifice

Melt in the arms of this realization

And she will offer you everything in return

She will offer you the sun and the moon

For what are they but specks of dust to her

She will fill your cup with oceans

For what are they but drops of Eternity

She will light up the night with diamond stars

For what are they but sparks of Limitlessness

You have leapt into this existence with longing

And she has pierced you through and through

Until in that writhing pain you surrender duality

Finally in this merging you become One

© Ganga Fondan, 2011

Working on this post today, while contemplating the words of the quote below, I suddenly had a strange recollection of a movie that had upset me terribly as a young girl. It was the story of a young American who follows his friend back to the Polynesian Islands and falls madly in love with his friend's sister there. After a series of disasters, the local volcano begins to erupt threatening the lives of everyone in the village. A heart wrenching decision by the leaders of the village require her to sacrifice her life by leaping into the volcano. They believe this will appease the gods. The young American begs her to run away with him, but eventually she decides to follow her heart to the top of the volcano. I remember staring at the screen, crying my eyes out, angry with her, with the villagers, with him for not taking her away...and she jumped. Even as I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes. It was such an intense act of love, of selflessness even though she was terrified to do it. She loved the American yet a deeper cause called out to her. Why she would choose to die perplexed me for a long time.

Years later I would meet someone who tells me he has just relapsed with a fatal disease. I look into his eyes and see a man of substance. Every fiber of my being says he is a fighter and he will win his fight. There are moments that call out to us and require a great leap of faith. Many of my friends and family questioned my desire when I chose to marry him but my heart had already fallen in love and was willing to do anything to serve that love. There was not a single doubt in my mind although I did feel frightened of what he would have to endure and that I might lose him. I don't regret a single moment of entering into that love with him. It continues in a profound way even now. I feel him in everything around me and he remains the champion of my heart. There are so many things we will never understand in this life, but if we remember to keep dancing with the heart, find the wonder and beauty in everything that exists in and around us, we will live a life of enchantment and romance. As my Teacher so eloquently puts it:

“This life is a dance between your mind and your Consciousness. It is a romance only if Consciousness leads.” – Tulshi Sen

Even the Ruins Now Sing Me Their Song

The memory still dances in my head like a song
A new kingdom called from above the clouds
The thunderous sound of hooves took you away
When finally my eyes lowered to explore about me
Everything had tumbled and fallen
Everything needed rebuilding
But I felt no strength for the task
Emptied and swollen had no heart to reconstruct
Now many years later in this same place of ruins
A new image emerges:
Flowers bloom on every torn down wall
Now each broken stone entices me over and over
That I may keep focused on the renewing sky
That it may show me how this dream continues
In everything I AM
This Immortal love song aches to continue
© Ganga Fondan, 2011: "Song of the Ruins"

It's amazing to me how past experiences can be revisited with new eyes, with a more receiving heart and offer to us a new place of transformation. This dream referred to in the above poem actually happened a few months after my lover left this world. I saw him on a great horse and he was leaving, promising to return for me one day. Turning around finally, I had to face the world feeling very alone. Everything seemed to be like a broken down fortress and I didn't feel the desire to start building my world again. Instead, I wanted to overcome the loss and have the freedom to run away at any time. My Teacher kept reminding me that one day I would experience great joy again. Deep inside I knew it was so, but this remained just a flicker in the unfolding years to come. One of the greatest tools given to me was the practice of the Four Proclamations. Through these four declarations, it is possible to overcome a sense of aloneness and separateness from the world around us. Though I have always trusted in the ways of the Universe, there were so many times when I felt apart from this Unity I so ached to feel. With the daily focus on the Ancient Teachings, the paradigms of my mind had strengthened in ways I could not even recognize until recently when I went back to the dream I had all those years ago. Suddenly I saw how all the hardships had helped me to see more of the sky. The broken down structures had offered themselves to give me a greater view of my connection with the limitless aspect of myself. Suddenly what was once a dark and empty place, now blooms with flowers and possibility. I can stand there in that place and feel connected to my love. I can look up into the night and know with every fiber of my being that there is no separation and that there is no lack. I practice every day to remind myself. The dawn of joy slowly rises within me and I feel the ecstatic parts of myself awakening again.

“Isn’t it madness to live in a conditioned world while you know that your Consciousness is always in the Absolute and in the Unconditioned?” – Tulshi Sen

Grant Me the Courage to Shine in that Light

I was in love with your fearlessness

I danced with abandon in your shadow

and celebrated your victories

I was in love with your audacity

I danced with abandon in your shadow

and marvelled at all your desires

You wore a great mask of bravery

which you tossed aside in fear

when you saw the maskmaker coming

You ran away

I didn't know why

The maskmaker said one day I would understand

Now I dance alone

in the heart of the Universe

I feel a light on my face

Your gift to me has been this calling out

to leave the shadows and experience my bliss

Song "The Invitation" © Ganga Fondan, 2009

Image: "Leave the Shadow Dancing, © Ganga Fondan 2009

This song is dedicated to all the people audacious enough to feign courage, to all the people I hid behind when I thought I had nothing to offer. They are the ones who shrank when it was time to pay the piper, but in their slinking away forced to remain and face the Truth. Of course I felt mystified and overwhelmed. I felt angry and hurt. How could I know that they would never stay during the upheaval that eventually came? Of course I cried like a baby and wanted to run far away from my life again. But I didn't did I? This time I didn't run. This time I turned to face what I felt so terrified to look at. While striving to feel unity with everything and everyone, I forgot one important factor. These challenges come as gift to the spirit. These disappointments and disillusionments come with a boon. It's not obvious at first, but standing alone in that light is the opportunity for an authentic experience. What have I come to sing in this life? What has love revealed to me through the trials and victories of my days? Has my years of slavery to my conditioning shown me exemplary strengths within myself that may now serve a higher purpose? Chills run up and down my spine. A new tension fills my body, but a still quiet voice inside my heart whispers "Let go". This song is for all those who threw their masks down and ran so that I would ache to know the meaning of true courage. I embrace this moment for them and their moments to come in facing that light.

"All the power that ever was or will be is here in you right now." - Tulshi Sen