Even the Ruins Now Sing Me Their Song

The memory still dances in my head like a song
A new kingdom called from above the clouds
The thunderous sound of hooves took you away
When finally my eyes lowered to explore about me
Everything had tumbled and fallen
Everything needed rebuilding
But I felt no strength for the task
Emptied and swollen had no heart to reconstruct
Now many years later in this same place of ruins
A new image emerges:
Flowers bloom on every torn down wall
Now each broken stone entices me over and over
That I may keep focused on the renewing sky
That it may show me how this dream continues
In everything I AM
This Immortal love song aches to continue
© Ganga Fondan, 2011: "Song of the Ruins"

It's amazing to me how past experiences can be revisited with new eyes, with a more receiving heart and offer to us a new place of transformation. This dream referred to in the above poem actually happened a few months after my lover left this world. I saw him on a great horse and he was leaving, promising to return for me one day. Turning around finally, I had to face the world feeling very alone. Everything seemed to be like a broken down fortress and I didn't feel the desire to start building my world again. Instead, I wanted to overcome the loss and have the freedom to run away at any time. My Teacher kept reminding me that one day I would experience great joy again. Deep inside I knew it was so, but this remained just a flicker in the unfolding years to come. One of the greatest tools given to me was the practice of the Four Proclamations. Through these four declarations, it is possible to overcome a sense of aloneness and separateness from the world around us. Though I have always trusted in the ways of the Universe, there were so many times when I felt apart from this Unity I so ached to feel. With the daily focus on the Ancient Teachings, the paradigms of my mind had strengthened in ways I could not even recognize until recently when I went back to the dream I had all those years ago. Suddenly I saw how all the hardships had helped me to see more of the sky. The broken down structures had offered themselves to give me a greater view of my connection with the limitless aspect of myself. Suddenly what was once a dark and empty place, now blooms with flowers and possibility. I can stand there in that place and feel connected to my love. I can look up into the night and know with every fiber of my being that there is no separation and that there is no lack. I practice every day to remind myself. The dawn of joy slowly rises within me and I feel the ecstatic parts of myself awakening again.

“Isn’t it madness to live in a conditioned world while you know that your Consciousness is always in the Absolute and in the Unconditioned?” – Tulshi Sen