Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"Reaching Deeper Into the Garden of Gethsemane"

Celebrate What Lies Beneath our own Garden of Gethsemane

"I saw the Storm and ice covered land
I saw the frozen trees so silent
I saw the blackness of their branches
under the unforgiving snow
Down down into the earth i went
Deeper and darker places surrounded me
Until the colors came
Until the swirling shapes danced around me
There the roots of life drew forth from a greater Life
This is the place of the Great Dream
Where the Garden ever pulsates
From this place the roots draw forth and sustain entire worlds
The seasons draw from on eternal Spring
changing the shapes of Infinity over and over again
Ganga Fondan, 2010

Unedited from a journal entry written after meditating on the "Four Eternal Principles". Focusing on the meaning of those journaled words came this artwork on digital canvas. It reminds me of how everything we touch, taste, smell, see, feel, hear....is connected to a greater Source beyond the senses and immerses us in a grander experience each time we are courageous enough to let go of all the small ways we know ourselves.

It was such a vivid unfolding worth recording. Beneath the cold and snow covered earth, there is always an ocean of swirling colors and shapes just aching to burst through the dark surface and renew the world again and again. The word "Infinity" itself is worth meditating on again and again and again. Somehow in the rational side of ourselves we need to measure and quantify the beauty and pain in our lives. We forget that, like the seasons we evolve in the most profound ways. In the pain of a seed bursting open grows a most wonderful tree. When the tree withers and dies, there is a renewal again in the earth as the essence of life plays again and again into new shapes and forms.

Sitting there in the basement of my parent's home on such a cold wintry day in Alberta, I listened to "Consciousness Rising". My mind felt a bit agitated at the beginning so I let go and floated into the strings of the Tamboura and let my body become as light as the flute sound that called out to me. This time I did not listen to the Teacher's words exactly but let them wash over me. Then the vision of the poem began and a rush of wonder went through my body. I scribbled out the words that came with the images.

This whole experience is symbolic of my visit out West. I see my life deeper, richer, brighter and more meaningful than I did as a young girl growing up. Beneath those stormy years were roots digging deep into the earth and drinking from places I did not yet realize.

All I can say now is that I trust in those roots and in the place they draw from. My life evolves like that Great Garden into many more wondrous shapes, colors and experiences. A place where everything is still possible.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Heart's Wisdom has Always and Will Always Lead Us Home Again and Again

The Heart Always Did, Does and Will Know the Way Home

Your Grace is ever upon me
There is no step I take alone
Your wings of Love ever surround me
on this journey home

Your Forgiveness ever a torchlight
Your Wisdom the map in my hand
When your kindness blows through me
like a warm summer breeze
what is there to understand?

There is no grief that can hold me
There is no sadness that can stay
Your songs of comfort ever guide me
Your words of courage light the way

You fill my cup with riches
Your Joy is infinite and true
Oh I would be a heap of ashes
were it not for You

Ganga Fondan, 2001

It feels great to be sitting here at my blog again and processing the feelings running through me these past few weeks. This trip out West stands out as an important milestone in this life journey. There was a moment while flying at 400 mph at 40,000ft up in the air that I asked quietly within that my thoughts may stay centered and detached and that my heart may be filled with love and non-judgement. Usually when I have flown anywhere I've taken time to create the emotional experiences first in my mind. This time I just wanted to witness the events of the coming days and stay focussed on loving. I had to laugh that my body was being hurled through space high above the earth but my mind did not feel like it was moving at all. Settling into the window bulkhead seat with two seats next to me empty, I wrote a serious inventory of my life using my well worn copy of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World".

The following days streamed past me like a great rushing river filled with laughter, songs, celebration (including my dad's 70th birthday party)and stories. A strange detachment penetrated my Being but I felt intensely present everywhere I went. In order to visit everybody we stayed up some nights just to catch up. Deep within me, I felt a presence of Love. A Love that had always been beside me in the early years. Some moments felt like I had been there before in the same experience only I was much older now. I don't think I can put that into words. I suddenly felt that my awareness of this Presence was stronger than in my youth but It had nonetheless always been guiding my life. Now I was merely a witness to the wonder of those days. It was exhilarating to discover for myself that "awareness" is everything. For years my Teacher had always said:

"We don't learn anything. We discover what we already know."

I feel genuinely grateful for the happiness that my family and friends exuded. I feel so grateful for the love and acceptance they grace me with. My desires and dreams have sometimes been so different than theirs but they love me nonetheless. The great Heart continues to shower these blessings throughout my life. On the return flight home, I wrote more ideas into my notebook. There are still so many feelings to explore.

Today's digital image best captures the idea of looking over my shoulder and not feeling alone, of the awareness of Presence and of nature's greater design. The words were written several years ago when in the darkest stages of grief and loss, a feeling of Joy would flow through me so abundantly and express itself in song. No matter what happens in my life, I know that my Heart will ever bring me Home again and again.

"Consciousness creates Reality."