My Dearest Narayan,
Like a child wanders off uninhibitedly, you silently left. Your breath became less and less. The rising and falling of your chest ceased. Did you feel us all singing and loving you? Did you know that we allowed no sadness into the room as you took your majestic leave? How beautifully your face shone. Like in those sacred moments of lovemaking when your life force would hurl itself through my very being, I felt the rush of blood under my skin as you left. I felt your silent cry of freedom throughout every cell of my existence. Everything was still and dancing all at the same time.
Every year on this day, I honor your memory in some special way. There is not a day that passes where you are not in my heart, but on this day...a special light shines because I know that you overcame the great mystery I still find myself in. I know that you went to a place of perfection because I felt a peace I have never known before as you left. I know it was a gift from you.
And so I type away on this computer today. I stare into the digital image that came. A DreamChild to represent our life together. That child of song and music and poetry who is suckled on our romance and the wisdom of ancient times. This child grows, my love. This child wanders as you did through the keyhole of all limitation and knows everything in Love. This child comforts me when I miss you too much and lifts my heart to those places where I know you are. This is a child of Heaven and Earth.
Sometimes I feel that I cannot bear another moment without you. Sometimes I cry for myself and judge myself for these foolish tears. I feel no strength and then...the songs come again and I know that my heart can endure anything. What is this small lifetime when we have eternity. The human life is a beautiful one, but you help me to look up and try to rise above it. I came here to find that higher love that you call me to. I close my eyes and see your face. Your perfect smiling chiseled face. I am still so in love with you.
I know you are happy. I feel it. I honor you today and the magnificent impact you still have on my life. I take no steps without you. Often I think of your beautiful feet and how I used to rub them on the harder days. Those beautiful feet I kissed as you drifted away. Those beautiful feet that wander the foot halls of Eternity.
Happy Narayan's Nirvana my Mr.Bluesky.
your "Angel Eyes"
2 comments:
My dearest Ganga, this is beautiful beyond tears. The love you share is infinite. Thank you for always radiating it forth.
I fall into deep silence as I read your words. Ganga, you have such a beautiful gift of writing...& exploring....& feeling....It's as if we are right there feeling it w/ you............
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