Thursday, September 3, 2009
I Am a Center of Glorious Unlimited Expression
"To realize the Truth:
It was always with me
though It was hidden.
Out of ignorance
I gave away control
over my thinking.
Now in this moment:
All the Power that ever was
or will be
flows alive through my beating heart.
pour through from One Source.
Beauty awakens Imagination
onto the canvas of my life.
Everything is fluid.
Everything is exhuberant.
Everything swirls in and around me.
I choose this blossoming in Consciousness
and let go in rapture."
Ganga Fondan, 2009
Today's posting is based on chapters 10 - 13 of "Ancient Secret's of Success for today's World" by Tulshi Sen. To go deeper into the knowingness of where I come from and what exactly I was designed for requires some self-inquiry. Do I want to stay ordinary? How am I the designer of my destiny? When I close my eyes and see that "life is feeling", how do I integrate that knowing with expressing my highest self? Digital art takes me beyond the intellect and lets me play with the questions.
How does the old and limited world suddenly pass away? The author says that "intellectual wrangling" with these questions is futile. The obstacles to our thinking cannot be overcome by the mind. The security of the mind is not in the mind. It is in Consciousness. Yesterday a new friend sent me an amazing link to "TED Talks" to Dr.Jill Bolte Taylor and her experience with a massive brain hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of the brain. I had perused through her book "My Stroke of Insight" but hadn't really taken the time to read it. Watching Dr. Taylor gave me goosebumps on top of my goosebumps.
Here is a woman who spends her whole life as a scientist studying the brain. She is motivated by her brother's ordeal with mental illness and wants to undertake finding a cure. One day she suffers a massive stroke in her analytical brain and recalls for the audience what she went through during her seizure. I watch this woman explain what it feels like to have both sides of her brain guide her thoughts at different times. The awe and wonder of the right side experience gives her feelings of oneness with everything, interconnectedness with all energy and an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility. Then reeling back into the left hemisphere, she is aware of needing help and reaching out. Back and forth these experiences flash through her. Eventually the stroke incapacitates her language functions and motor skills and it takes her 8 long years to recover and feel ready to function in the world again. She tells the audience that while she rode in the ambulance during her seizure, she had a choice to either leave her body and stay in the peace or come back and tell others about her experience. At this point she is emotional and overcome by what she went through and still goes through. I am in awe of her courage and her stamina to repeat this story to help uplift mankind.
Her experience also touches me for other reasons. In the last two weeks of his life, Narayan suffered 3 massive seizures. They were terrifyng to witness because he felt so out of control. Each stroke would leave him more paralyzed and eventually in a coma. It was frightening to watch him forget who he was and where he was. Not for one moment did I sense that he was in darkness though. A light oozed out of him and all that came in contact with him. Occaisonally he would say a word out loud or make a gesture that would spread warmth and smiles throughout the room. One doctor, particularily noted for his lack of tact and personal charm came to his bedside to let us know that there was not much more the hospital could do. Narayan somehow reached and held this doctor's hand. As the doctor continued to speak I saw his face become red. I listened to the softening of his words and to the loving way he spoke about Narayan. I remember the tears welling in my eyes knowing that some power of majesty and unity was working through my beautiful man. Dr. Taylor spoke about feeling so limitless in her size that she wondered how in her enormity, she could ever fit back into her physical body. I wonder if Narayan was watching us from outside of his body as well? She said that she felt like she could touch every point in space. Maybe Narayan felt that too.
We are such complex beings. We focus so much on our ability to be intelligent and outwardly successful in everything we take on. Both Dr. Taylor's and Narayan's experiences urge my quest onward to know myself and my capacity to live a powerful and more balanced life. The Ancients who mastered themselves left timeless tools for us to overcome our own self limitations. These priceless practices transformed ordinary men and women into giants of their age. Narayan and I in his final year had practiced meditating and visioning while preparing ourselves for what would come. In us arose a deeper sense of peace and calmness. I was able to let go and give him space while he made peace with those he still had issues. He started a business and constantly found new and wonderful ways to appreciate me and how I loved him. Our romance expanded throughout our most challenging times.
Hear tonight once again, the Teacher who guided us and continues to guide me in the ways of conquering the Self and living a designers life. In this 3rd no-charge teleclass, he continues his subject of "Raising our Belief Level with the Master Key for Success".
Date: Thursday, September 3, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300
Conference Code: 302937
If you missed the last two calls, you can listen here.
On days like these I feel like I've just barely experienced the tip of the iceberg of my being. The funny thing is that the iceberg is all a part of the watery Ocean. It's a matter of this body melting and of letting go. It's a matter of holding the Vision of the Ocean until I Am completely One with It.
Sending you Ocean waves of happiness for your journey,
Ps Thanks so much for the link, Kami.