All I Ever Need is in My Heart

"Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
helpless to resist the notes I write
for I compose the music of the night

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender
turn your face away
from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light
and listen to the music of the night

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes
Let your spirit start to soar
and you’ll as you’ve never lived before

Softly, deftly,
music shall caress you
hear it, feel it, secretly possess you
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness that you know
you cannot fight -
the darkness of the music
of the night

let your mind start a journey
through a strange, new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you
where you long to be
only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me,
Savor each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night...

You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night."

- Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Music of the Night"

Listening to this song from "Phantom of the Opera" over and over last night, it felt as though my thoughts were going through a cleansing of sorts. Ever since I can remember there was always a battle going on in my mind whether it was the forces of good and evil, light and dark, angels and demons. Both my religious and scientific training always tried to caution me about going the right way, the better way and the safe way. This influenced many of my life decisions to avoid the pitfalls and to just go the opposite way. What kind of choosing is that?

While shaping new paint images on on my digital canvas, my memory brought into focus a conversation with a new friend of mine. We were talking about love. She asked me what the opposite of love was. Without missing a beat, an answer came right out of my mouth.

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

We both stood there looking at each other and smiling. I remember that silence.

Last night's teleseminar with Tulshi Sen was called: "How Can I Believe I Can Have Whatever I Can Vision?". He emphasizes again and again that our capacity to imagine is our greatest power. When we start to calculate our dreams then we are not really visioning. When we are vying for safety then we are deluding ourselves because even the richest man has no safety. What if he becomes ill or loses all his money? My Teacher reiterated that all the riches and romance comes as a consequence when we have raised out own belief capacity. He said our "intention will always equal our reliance on Consciousness". Wow. His talks always stir me on the deepest level. Later, he recited a few lines from "Music of the Night" which I felt compelled to listen to for hours after the call. Of course then my digital tools came out to experience what I was feeling.

This song had always haunted me a bit because of my understanding of the "darker side". Now for the first time, I looked at it as the "Unknown" or the "NoThing" from which everything springs forth. What if "darkest dreams" were only those which had not been uncovered yet or had light shed on them yet. I had worn my YinYang earrings during the day and thought about the symbol of the white color in the black and the black color in the white. Isn't creation simply drawing forth from the darkness into the light over and over? We get so mesmerized by what has been created, we forget to draw from the well again and again. This is a great challenge of our time. I remember Tulshi Sen had said that everything around us: the computer, the lightswitch, the guitar, the clock on the wall, the clothes I wear are "all an embodiment of human imagination". He also said that nowadays many "efforts and apirations are stunted by the height of the belief level of a person".

For me this journey is getting more exciting and fantastic all the time. Oh I fall on my face here and there and feel frustrated, but so what? Diving back and forth from "what is already" and "what has not yet been" creates a most thrilling life. My mind finds new ways to embrace and draw from the mystery of this strange new world. All I need or ever will need is already in my Heart. There is my greatest strength. What is there to fear?

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

Knowing that is true Freedom.
"Get Real" takes on a whole new meaning now.

Sending smiles across the miles,
Ganga