Saturday, August 8, 2009
"Laughter Lightens" - Tulshi Sen
This story is unbelievable because to this day I cannot tell you how it works, just that it does and did at a time when I thought the world was just aiming one huge spit ball after another at my my life. After Narayan passed away, my days felt so very intense and overwhelming. I quit my job with the airlines because I could not deal with the day to day lineups of challenges there. After working and spending years of following my husband around hospital wards and treatments, I felt and looked worn out and about 200 years old. Totally Kaput. I didn't know who I was anymore or what I wanted. I remember one particular day so clearly. Dressed in my white terry cloth bathrobe over my favoite pyjamas,opening yet another bill and throwing it onto my bed, I felt tremendously sorry for myself. I jumped under the covers and planned to stay there all day. Then an incredible memory flooded my mind:
One night, we were gathered around my Teacher after a seminar. He was telling us that all the Power that ever was or will be is right here inside of us. He was saying that we do not need to rely on anythig outside of ourselves to make our dreams come true. With his twinkling eyes and crystal clear voice, he added that when faced with any problem in life, stand back and look at it and laugh. Laugh even if you don't feel like laughing. Then he challenged us with an experiment to try when we feel disheartened. He said to say "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo". I remember after a minute of deafening silence and puzzling looks everyone started roaring with laughter and jumping around saying "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo". I was waving my arms and imitating a rooster walk and saying it loudly to myself. I felt giddy and light.
After the memory faded, I immediately slid out from under the covers to get Narayan's guitar out of the living room. I sat back on my bed and began to strum. Half-heartedly challenging my Teacher's idea about being able to vaporize my problems, I remember thinking that this "Cock-A-Doodle Doo" would have to prove itself to me. I couldn't get any lower so my heart began to compose a way to rise out of my trouble. I cannot emphasize enough how powerful this song became in my day-to-day existence. Constantly facing feelings of lack, loneliness and purposelessness, the intention to overcome these obstacles crafted one of the greatest "depression-busters" of my life.
What I always want to emphasize in my song blog is that these songs came from the depth of my longing and shaped me from the inside. Over many years some lyrics would change or the melody was modified. I always encourage people to find their own songs. Within a single chord there are millions of possibilities to explore. You don't need to understand theory, only be willing to look into your own soul for the music. There is a voice deep within your heart that has so much to express and let out. We just have to get past all the thoughts which deny that we are unique in absolutely every way there is. Working daily with so many budding and established "Creatives" shows me this again and again.
The purpose of this posting is "Laughter Lightens". We have the power within us to vaporize the heaviness that thoughts can bury us in. The "Rooster Song of Self-Mastery" continues to carry that message. It has helped me to bravely face those things which I fear and rise above them. I know it has given many others a more light hearted look at life.
The lyrics to this song will be in my next blog as well as one other irreplacable absolutely necessary and vital song ingredient. This will be definitely be on the upcoming album.
I'll leave you with some words beautiful words of my Teacher:
"There is a secret dwelling place in our hearts.
That space is as infinite as the space outside us.
All the power of the Universe is concentrated here.
We must enter that space.
It is there we will find our belief:
Our "deserve level" beyond what it is now.
In that space outside us we do what we are told.
We are dependent on what we have and not on what we can have.
In that space in our heart we can desire what we have never desired before
but always wanted to.
It is here in this space in our heart
all desires are fulfilled
and we confidently await for its manifestation"
No one can enter that space for us. We are the explorers. We are given tools and the rest is up to each and every one of us. Oh..and when it gets riduculously hard and bumpy or easy breezy,don't forget to laugh. (Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!)