Sunday, December 16, 2007

I thought I was looking for you.


“Yet I feel grateful for what I’ve learned
And the people to whom I turned
Now like a river that flows to the sea
I let them all go now to their own destiny
While I follow that one light blazing in me
I’m gonna’ find my own dream again…”


I thought I was looking for you. Tears and muffled sobs reached for you in all the hardest moments and every time came an answer. It was never really clear who you were so I created an image of you in my mind, an image that was shaped from my limited understanding of who you were. As I grew, you taught me to challenge all my ideals. You entered my thoughts through sheer kindness and began to expand my ideas of what is possible. Through songs and poetry you opened my heart. You shattered my understanding of love and revealed the eternal substance of nothingness. You appeared in other people’s eyes until I saw only extensions of my own beingness.

Still I felt the hunger of wanting to know you, touch you and reach into your essence. I sought mother, father, friend and lover. I needed to know you so that I would know from where I came. I needed to feel you so that I might have an inkling of who I am and where I belong. Still you showed me my limited ways of reaching for you. Ours is a private journey.

I stare into the mirror and let go. A sea of faces appears and disappears. We are not two. The layers of skin and bone shatter and the mask is broken. A light blazes forth in the silence and a still small voice “ I Am That I Am”.

I thought I was looking for you.
I was really looking for my Self.

This artwork and story is inspired by “The Story of the Lion Cub Who was Raised by Goats” in "Ancient Secrets of Success", by Tulshi Sen.
Photo-art: “Woman Within”
Song: “My Own Dream”

2 comments:

Teach Children's Yoga said...

"The Fourth Proclamation, I Am the Creator, demolishes this sense of separation and reveals to the student his own identity. Now, he knows who he is. You don't become who you are, you realize who you are. You don't become the Creator, you are the Creator."

p. 120, Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World, by Tulshi Sen

Ganga - this is the page I opened up to after reading your post!

Love,
Aruna

Catherine said...

Dear Song writer,

You are hearing the voice of God Almighty! Ask Him and see if it is not so! Jesus is the song of love. That is how He speaks and He speaks thru the small still voice of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him and see! You have a great call on your life in writing songs for the Lord!
Talk to Him and see!

Your song is mostly from scripture-
Exodus 3:14 is where Moses ask who are you? "I AM WHO I AM," said God

John 14:20 "In that day you shall know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you."

You are one with Jesus and He is one with the Father. He longs to pour forth His love to you and tell you the secret things of His kingdom in heaven. He will show you things and tell you things!
And you will know in your spirit that you are talking to God.

Ask me more if you care to know, but ask Him yourself!

Wow God for the call on your life!
Catherine