Sunday, November 29, 2009
"Made in the Likeness and Image of..."
She ever suffers and is kind
There’s never evil nor envy on Her Mind
She never needs to see the proof
Yet She rejoices in the Truth
She bears all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
And ever believes
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Though I speak with the tongues of men
And of angels
And have not Love
I am nothing
Though I have the gift of prophecy
And understand all mysteries
And all knowledge
Though I have all faith
So I can remove mountains
And have not Love
I am nothing
O I know one day we will meet face to face
Within that ocean of Her Grace
My Heart will say:
“I AM the Way
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth.”
Adapted from 1 Corinthians:13
Ganga Fondan, 2009
Every time I get exhausted and want to give up, this passage from the bible always guides my heart. To trust and surrender to Love and to know that She can never fail is the Light that moves my whole life onward. She waits silently and lifts me through the hardest moments. She urges me to recognize myself in her Light. I cannot yet see the butterfly wings opening but I feel a subtle shift each day. She whispers and holds me and tells me that I Am a progeny of Love and that Love can never fail.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one winter morning a few years ago. It was one of those gray days that promised a snowstorm but if you used your imagination, you could see the sky as silver. Staring at the odd asemblage of items around me in my bachelor apartment, my hands started to strum a few basic chords on "Antara" (name of guitar). I felt like I needed somebody to hold me and tell me that my life would somehow be great again and that this too would pass. In times like this, my eye usually catches a book of poetry or scripture to lift the mood and on this day, it was the bible. 1 Corinthians 13 is always bookmarked so I happened to open it there. A conversation with Narayan came back into my head. We had agreed that no matter what ever happened, we would let the power of love guide us and we would trust this power to take us to the highest place we could be. We both believed that Love would never let us down. It felt comforting to bathe in this memory. My hand traced over the words on the page of the bible. My Teacher had taught me not to just study things verbatum but to try and sense what the poet or author was trying to convey. I closed my eyes and contemplated what those words meant for me now and here. I wanted to love like this. What would a person be like if they truly lived the words of 1 Corinthians 13? The lyrics kind of poured out and my ideal took shape. Over the years, this song takes on more meaning. It guides me in character building and staying patient and kind.
I do advise you to read this original Corinthians passage for yourself. You can google it. See what it says to you. For years I had listened to religious leaders and school professors tell me what they thought things were all about. I soon realized that even doctors and politicians and CEO's of big companies all have opinions and favored research sources but still we must discern for ourselves what the heart within us believes and desires to accomplish. We must each find our own way through the tidal waves of information and images. Accessing the meaning of our own lives through our own direct experiences of thoughts and feelings is vital if we are to achieve peaceful and powerful lives. If we are to pass on this legacy to our children.
A great example of this is to go to a local bookstore and see how many books there are about love. In the self-help section, relationship, psychology, religion and even science section there are books about what people have discovered. In the arts, biography, philosphy and fiction sections are hundreds of books about love. In history, political science and new age are great and inspiring books about love. In children's books, cook books, health books and travel books there are romantic themes and definitions about love. All these books are poured forth from the creativity of man...from the glorious realm of his or her connection to ideas. Still they do not teach us how to love. They teach us about love.
Not until we desire to know love for ourselves do we begin to write our own songs, discover our own epic and thrive in Love's presence. Not until we are fully immersed in its waters, do we begin to realize just what is possible knowing that if we but follow it, our lives can never be meaningless. Writing songs makes it easier for me to maintain the clarity of intention and stay in the feeling of what my direct experience is revealing. Always, the music and lyrics sustain the momentum to move forward and explore new feelings and desires and to express them into art and continue to be guided by this. When the inner space is ready and cries out for experience, then the tools of the Teacher, the books and the seminars become more valuable and can help us to become more powerful.
That is exactly how love has presented herself in my life many times over. As a Soulmate, as a Song, as a Teacher, as a musical Instrument and as a Friend. Whatever form She takes, She can never fail me. She endures and bears everything and hopes all things, teaching me to Vision and become One with Her and master my world.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
"The Answer's in the Motion of Love Inside..."
“So many roads to travel
Which one is for me
Where can I find answers
When will these eyes see
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on
Questions ever endless
Though the truth be only one
Everything is finished
But we’ve only just begun
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on
Flow on, flow on , flow on….
Rushing to the ocean
Drifting out to sea
The answer’s in the motion
Of the Love inside of me
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on
Flow on, flow on, flow on….”
Ganga Fondan 1997
Today’s digital meditation explores :
“You will know how to think from the depths of your Consciousness by realizing how the Universe thinks. You will know how to act, freed from the mind’s dictates of limitations, by realizing how the Universe Acts. When you speak, you will speak from the core of your Being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe.” – Tulshi Sen, “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World”
Back in 1997, I had a few days off from the airlines and went to visit a friend. She had an extra guitar that I used to play around with. On this day, she was pre-occupied with something on her computer so I went to her backyard and sat on the warm soft grass. It was one of those days where the blue sky just welcomes you in and the occasional soft puffy cloud invites you to dream. Lying on my back, I thought of Narayan and his upcoming hip replacement. It didn't seem fair that his life was filled with medical procedures year in and year out. (I let the soft breeze caress my body.) Though I was certain that all would be well, I couldn't help but release some tears and anxiety to that gentle day. Sometimes I just didn't know what to do or think or decide anymore. At that time, I already felt considerable strength from what I was learning from my Teacher but it took a while for this to soak in to my belief level. The very idea that my life's answers would come from inside of me felt daunting especially at a time when I did not know from one day to the next what my husband's health would be like. I never felt more helpless in my life. I reached for the guitar lying beside me and sat up. My fingers softly strummed the strings. I looked up at the sky and began to hum. A feeling rose from inside and the words "flow on river" kept coming. I sang these three words over and over. It felt so beautiful to sing and articulate each syllable. Between humming and singing, I remember thinking "where is this feeling taking me?", and very shortly thereafter came the rest of the lyrics and melody. I must have sang that song all day. My friend eventually brought her guitar out into the backyard and we sang together until we just fell into the grass exhausted and happy.
Later, in Narayan's arms I felt rejuvinated and peaceful. I looked at my warrior husband and knew that everything would be alright. I felt empowered and ready for whatever would come next.
Now I look back at that time. So many songs came to lift me through every step of that journey. Faithfully, I followed the exercises that my Teacher suggested. The storm of my outward life carried on around me, but each time fear would overwhlelm me, my Teacher's words kept me in the moment and in love with my husband. That practice has long sustained me after Narayan left and I had to vision a new life for myself without him. This year on the 19th of November would have been my 16th wedding anniversay with him. I'm still a woman in love. Our love continues to spead to so many others who are having such a hard time in the storms of their life. Our story is still alive and useful. It still inspires countless works of art. I see it transform people around me in my day to day world. I continuously aspire to be an instrument that passes on what I have been so generously given. The truth is inside of each of us. Phenomenal Self-revelation happens when we see ourselves as distributors of the Universal flow. I needed tools to help me. Not my education, parents, religious training, healthcare system, work experience could show me how to let go of my dependence on the external events of my life to show me what my true realm of choice is. The "Four Proclamations" meditations alone have guided me to increased access to the limitless resources within me. The Visioning techniques and tools have opened my eyes to a much larger understanding of living a powerful life. Only through this knowing am I truly free to decide what I want to think.
Every single piece of art and every song and every poem continue to guide me forward now. Laced into the outpourings is the Universal purpose of my life. I still have a long way to go, but my Life Vision sings and sustains me from the inside over and over. I repeatedly embrace the truth of the quote above...
"...you will speak from the core of your being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe."
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Listen to my Teacher's life-transforming talks. Click here.
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Monday, November 16, 2009
Soak in Splashes of Sound and Silence
“This song is for you my Heart
Ever patient and honest
Though I have not always been true
Outward and away
Lured by the whims of the day
Full of such beautiful… beautiful things
And endless activities
Oh it’s so often that I stray
Like a little child lost in play
But every time I call for you…
Then you always bring me Home again
Where your love ever dances
In endless waves that roll like thunder
Into the silence
This song is for you my Heart
Filled with the music of Heaven
Let me fall at your feet
And give up everything
Just to sing for You
Just to sing with You”
Ganga Fondan, 2003
This song came in a time of gratitude and reaching. All the material things seemed to come easily and effortlessly but the inner growth was aching for more attention. My heart was craving for something I couldn’t quite identify. Lately I’ve pulled out this song again only to realize its revitalizing effect on my mind. I feel a jolt of growth, possibility and innovation on my digital canvas today.
My life is like this profound symphony of color and sound swirling in and around me. Something catches my eye or my attention and the urge to examine it and enjoy it overcomes me. It might be a song, a meal, a painting, a conversation or anything that holds me for a time. Whenever the heart is not involved, I miss the taste of my meal, the insight of the painting, the passion behind the song or the connection in the conversation. I may not notice at first and rush headlong into the next distraction that lures me in but eventually, I ache for something I have forgotten and take time to refocus. The heart never skips a beat at the opportunity to lift my life again. Never. Even through the most harrowing experiences, it always opens doors to greater strength and hope. So much so that it became the Great Heart in all my songs.
This process of rejoining with the Heart was made easier with the meditations on the Four Proclamations as outlined by Tulshi Sen in his book "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World". These ancient pillars of wisdom have allowed me to step into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Heart. As a result of this relationship, I have learned to listen to life and to observe in a way beyond the five senses. In this observation, songs awaken from the depth of my being. The Heart is the greatest storyteller and will reveal things about yourself that no one could tell you. In that intensity of self-realization, a more profound connection with everything and everyone takes shape. Eventually we realize that even breathing is proclaiming oneness with life. We celebrate our true intimacy:
"...Just like the baby in the mother's womb is One with the mother and is never concerned with substance. You will realize your umbilial cord with Universal Consciousness never was and never can be severed. Then you will know that Consciousness is your total supply and your substance." (P. 106)
It is in the spirit of that statement that this song comes to life. It reveres the enduring Heart knowing that It will never fail me. I realized over the years that my lack of trust in the Heart weakened my capacity to vision powerful outcomes for my life. Now in vigilence, my concentration of my dreams is increased and I have more control over the throughts I want to hold.
And so in this splashing of sound and silence, I seek to create more and more of a balance: That my heart may be open to the romance of life while the senses enjoy themselves. Today's digital painting is this reminder. The black parts of he picture are my silence and pause (Individualized Consciousness centred) while the colors are the senses ecstatically exploring the gifts of an abundant Universe under the realm of Universal Consciousness.
Here is to all of our freedom and rapture in life.
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Reminder:
Tune in to Wednesday's Webinar with Tulshi Sen:
"Vaccination against Negative Thoughts"
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Friday, November 13, 2009
Her Declaration of Independance
“She gets up unusually early this morning
Sits on the veranda and sips ginger tea
Takes a long hot shower and takes time to choose her outfit
Dresses slowly and deliberately
Attends to every detail of her makeup
Stands poised at the doorway and collects herself
Walks with assurance and ease up the boulevard
Smiles at the people passing by and feels invigorated
With each step there is a lightening up
With each breath there is a sense of ease
Up and up she moves into the experience
Her thoughts are clear and centered
Suddenly in a moment of tremendous shifting
Her pinball life rolls in ready to strike her down
But this time she stands silently
Calmly refocuses her view
Salutes the six-sided day
Reframes the world into the shape of her Beloved
Creation cannot roll over such a powerful woman
It offers everything wholeheartedly to this new design
Every sweet desire is expressed and fulfilled
While she breathes in the ecstasy of this romance
She celebrates the first day of her freedom
She celebrates her release from the clutches of conditions
She takes her place among the architects of the world”
Ganga Fondan, 2009
What would I do for love? Love of my ideal life? This is the motivating question burning in me after this last Wednesday’s invigorating and “wisdom-soaked” web seminar with Tulshi Sen. In the visioning process itself, we cannot try and find the ways to fulfill our dreams. We must be able to feel them, interact with them as though we are already alive in them. We must know they are already a done deal. If we are seeing the ideal life and worried about how we will attain it, then we are still struggling through a painful “to-do” list. The last step in trusting your vision is already accomplished is to stand poised and be willing to challenge that “rolling over” mentioned in the poem. It is the final stand and sacrifice we make for what we believe in. All the greatest heroes who embrace(d) an ideal and face(d) whatever comes in the name of a dream know that final step of self-dedication.
Since Wednesday night I have been able to think of little else than the word "freedom". Many years ago, I packed up my little blue Pony and left the west to find my dreams and live in the freedom of accomplishing them. I could not think like those around me and desired to find what it was I wanted to dream about. All I wanted to do was get away from there and move to another place. Then eventually in that other place, my insecurities caught up with me and I found new ways to run away. I lost myself among friends, suffocated any pain in "mind numbing recreation" and still thought I was living a free life. When circumstances would bowl me over and run me down, I never knew how to face that which limited my freedom. I had no strength and no tools to challenge my suffocator and began to realize that I had no skills to break out of this dilemma.
That is where what I have learned from my Teacher has made all the difference. Over the years, by learning visioning and meditation techniques, I was introduced to the most gruesome taskmaster and slave driver known to man, his own mind. With repeated effort, I began to recognize all the behaviors and voices of judgement from my past. I had been shaped and formed in a world that told me who I was. For the cheap price of someone's love and approval, I would often turn myself inside out and deny my deepest feelings. How many thousands of ways my mind has tricked me into seeing the smallest version of myself. But why? What is the payoff for the mind? Wouldn't the mind benefit if I became a much enhanced version of life? Ahhhhh, it is then I discover for myself over and over that the mind cannot take me there. It is like a processor and can only be a tool to measure and mete out life's grander ideals. Where do these grander ideals come from? I've been paying homage to the computer instead the intelligence that runs the computer.
The intelligence beyond the mind calls to me to design a larger version of my life. Why not trust something greater than my own ability to rationalize and philospohpize the meaning of my existence? "Logic and Love do not mix" reverberated throughout the entire call. My mind buzzed with excitement. The call took us on a journey from the inner intensity of poets to the sacrifice and passion of freedom fighters. From Keats: My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains/My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk"... to the visionary heroes who signed the American "Declaration of Independence". For the love of another being, the love of a nation, the love of an ideal, the intelligence beyond the mind calls upon all mankind to wake up and declare our own independence from the self-preserving mind and to dream of a life we really want to experience.
This week's webinar was a calling out to feel the romance of life. Those who build magnificent empires accomplish the dream first and then use their mind to expedite the details. They risk their lives for the love of an ideal that calls to them to challenge their current circumstances. This madness of trust made me fall in love with a man who had just come out of remission and love for love's sake alone. This madness of trust continues to carry my life to the most unexpected places while I stay poised in the dream and direction of my heart. In this exhilerating process, I repeatedly pay homage to my Teacher and his tireless capacity to vision a world where people are free to think the thoughts they really want to think and not the thoughts they are forced to think by their environment.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
"We Cannot Vision More Than We Are" - Tulshi Sen
"How would I know to seek a greater way of living
If I had not been misunderstood and cast out
If I didn’t have to let go of everything that mattered
To find my life and lose it all over again
If the land around me had not dried up and denied me
And emptied out my accounts
How would I know the hunger that comes
If my dream had not eluded me and faded into the shadows
Leaving me void of meaning and purpose
How would I know the thirst to know myself
If I had not fallen hard onto my knees
Too exhausted to take another step
Too ashamed to ask for help
How would I know that ache or want
Which is in itself an answer hurling itself upon the heart
Invoking there a new blossoming of sound and feeling
Erecting a new earth that shapes itself in and around my Being
How would I know this gift of Grace without the pain of desire
How otherwise would these songs of joy and courage have come"
Ganga Fondan, 2009
This posting is once again inspired by my Mentor’s message. This week’s seminar with Tulshi Sen was a great reminder to look at the correlation of what I desire and how I love. Where do my desires come from: my head or my heart? He explained: “Every Vision is a product of love”. He went on to challenge us on the different aspects of love such as self-serving, co-operative or unselfish unconditional love. The way we love is our pattern of thinking and through this lens we feel what we want in life. In my own experience, this lens comes more into focus as I practice the meditations given in: “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World.” I realize that what seemed so hard and impossible many times in my life were actually gateways to a deeper self-awareness and trust. Only emptied will I discover the wealth of my true heart’s desire.
This week I take a good long hard look at my life and like countless times before, re-evaluate what is important to me and what do I cling on to falsely believing it to be essential to my well being. How much the events in my life have sculpted who I am now and allowed me to build new dreams. Each time there seemed to be a coming together of details that seemed to move me forward. Sometimes a breaking apart also teaches me about myself. This wonderful journey of self-discovery goes deeper still and that feels exciting and frightening at the same time. Still I wonder why I hang on to so many old belief systems. These impede the raising of my belief level and yet I still cling on to them. I love the example of a monkey leaping from limb to limb of the trees completely trusting that he will catch the next branch. He has to let go of the first branch in order to complete the jump. I'm working on seeing myself leaping like that. Maybe a song about it will come or artwork and a poem. Mr Sen teaches that we must build ourselves from within in order to embrace the larger Visions. Meditating on the Four Proclamations has taken me to places I never thought I would go before. Recently I showed a new friend a picture of myself 14 years ago and she did not recognize me at all. She said I have a completely different face and body. I smiled at her and said that I am not that person in the picture. Monumental changes have occured in me.
A beautiful quote came up in the teleseminar this week:
"The coninuous flow of only one kind of thought to the exclusion of all other thoughts is supreme Bliss and is regularly practiced by the wise." - Pitanjali
It seems so simple an idea. When we do what we love to do it seems to make the hours fly by, put colors in our cheeks and put a smile on our face. There is so much more in all of us to find. According to the Ancient teachings, "the only action we ever do is visioning".
This seminar is so rich that I have to listen to it a few times to really let it soak in. You can too - here.
I'll leave you with this quote from the evening. The words have been hanging on a slip of paper over my desk and for some time but now I see them in a new light:
"You are what your deep driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will, so your deed.
As your deed, so is your destiny." - Upanishad Brihadaranyaka IV.4.5
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