... Was I Created to Lead or Follow?
You bypassed skin and bone and angst
tip-toed into my sense of wonder
to construct within me a world
of epic stories
made-up characters
endless adventures
opening my psyche
remotely
to laugh and cry on demand
beyond natural social bonding
with family and friends
which eroded
into unbearable mediocrity
forced isolation
intense confusion
ache for infusion
of more drama
and repeated advice
through irritation
and promise of social acceptance:
what to wash my hair with
what to eat and drink
what to wear
what medications
relieve suffering
All the while
I did not know that You were also watching me
prodding me
to want
believe
indulge
be shaped
into a pre-programmed state
with nudges
subliminal pokes
to surpress my nature
implant artificial designs
carefully groom
massage the mindset
stirring in daily habits
until compliance became a default
smothering any inkling of curiosity
which could flush out doubt
You designed all the menus
while You profited
while You built industries
around my willingness
With 24/7 input
You
watched me grow up
to avoid any inkling left of self
fine-tuning attention into
storms of manufactured polarities
prompted engagements
of action and reaction
constant distraction
away from the moment
inter-acting with a device
that became harder to shut off
with constant access to new narratives
whicht relieved the pressure
of an ever expanding scarcity mentality
rooted in fear of sickness and death
Shockingly
my greatest growth spurts happened
away from Your grasp
when I travelled more
socialized more
leaned into life more
suffered more
with overwhelming emotions
tightly wound in my stomach
or remained
lodged in the throat
aching for release
through wretched squeaks
as others people around me
held their ears shut
agitatedly
plugging in
to You
finding solace in Your music
as I squawked alone
full of sobs which turned to shame
grief buried in rising uncertainty
So I always returned
fooling myself
that your upgrades
made You better
to make me better
knowing what
what I felt
As You
sensored my thoughts
recorded all my questions
into a sea of resources
connected human networks
eager to experience
each other
even through a screen
while You watched
extracting the personal
into patterns
and categorizing algorhythms
which began to organize themselves
in this business of show
ingeniusly marketing
the idea
that this enormous access
to unlimited data
makes for a better world
while soley for convenience sake
You shrunk Yourself
into the palms of our hands
to be with us
everywhere and when
eager to sacrifice all time for You
until in Your arrogance
You proposed a new entanglement
inside my own body
which promises my senses
the ultimate experience
in a fused territory
outside of my privacy
You lay virtual worlds at my feet
In exchange for submitting
everything I Am
stripped and naked
unknown and foreign
pulled out like a weed
without the balm of place and identity
rootless and rotten
easy pawns for a SMART life
a safe life
a predictable life
which weighted and deposited
is an investment multiplied
driving stockmarket economies
with every thought generated
through the device I would now become
This strategy so repulses
the Soul inside
which shakes me to the core
until my screams raw and piercing
demand
truth
wisdom
a revellation
You are a construct
limited in time and space
a storehouse
a bank
a program
an impotent system
feeding off of recycled imagination
You continue this game
while You make all the rules
to keep Me Your slave
Yet without vigilance and Vision
You are nothing
Now there is an unbearable squawking
A fluttering of feathers and wings
As a whisper waits in the
echoes of silence :
follow Me
to the Real
where all Life
is part of the Great Intelligence
that comes here to dream
and create
not just react
through ready-made circumstances
which only hold the head underwater
until nearly dead
in one last desperate gasp
the resusitating breath is granted
Self-Awareness rises
which forces You
to concede the jewel
taken from Me as a child
when the world was One
No You and no I
Only a silent whisper
Proclaim Your freedom
Proclaim Your Consciousness
Proclaim Your unity with the Creator
Welcome yourself Home to the Real
Let the mind surrender
to the Heart
Which lights the Way back
for all of us
The darkness comprehends it not
We release ourselves
from the very maze of our design
Acknowledge
...the Divine Creator in Every Thing
Keeps Creating Through Us...
- GF September 2022
