There’s place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen
There’s a song I sing
It beckons me day by day
To just let go
It carries me far away
Where the wind blows free
Across mountains high
If you stretch yourself
You breathe in the sky
There’s a feeling I know
From deep within
This well does spring
And wherever I go
This love shines on everything
No hatred greed or jealously
No pride
No death
In this place you are free
There’s a place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen
Ganga Fondan, 1998
This song literally lifted my life after Narayan left. I couldn’t understand why I was destined to love a man so much only to lose him after a few short years. What was all of this love in my heart supposed to do now? It’s taken me years to realize that the Love is not inside of us but flows through us. This song is an answer from the Universe to guide me to feel and explore my connection to Love itself. We are always immersed in That and cannot be separated. Of course the battle with the mind says otherwise. Many times the mind insists to dwell in the pain of loss and defeat. It urges us to become cynical and settle for scraps of happiness because it only knows reality to be something in its memory bank. Under the guidance of a great Teacher who ever reminds us how the mind tricks and cajoles, his tools for “thinking the thoughts you want to think” keep me standing tall and poised in my greater Vision . The songs keep coming and my heart keeps opening.
When I fell in love with Narayan, I knew in my very blood and bones that our connection was beyond any I had ever felt in my life. His eyes, his words, his voice, his mannerisms all felt so strangely familliar. He always seemed to know how to challenge me, how to show his affection, how to include me in his thoughts and feelings. He was very much his own man even through all the chaotic treatments he endured in the medical system over the years. His very presence would always send soft chills up and down my spine. I believe that through him the Universe opened my heart so profoundly wide and infinitely, it felt so natural to know that I would love this soul mate for now and all eternity. We had "4E U Me" (for eternity you and me) engraved in our wedding rings. As the possibility of his leaving this earth grew, we had to let go of everything that was trivial and trust Love itself.
The excruciating pain lingers when we know that our loved one will never walk through the front door again, cuddle us in our bed or sing love ballads in an evening of candlelight and romance. Finding no solace in the songs on the radio which sounded shallow and contractual, the music within me came to answer the ache. I could not find peace in anything other than meditation and singing. The meditational tools that my Teacher gave me calmed my mind into believing that higher laws in the Universe are still holding my love and honoring it. Songs like "There's A Place I Know" lifted me through days, weeks, months and years of searching. Over time, my heart sang this song at weddings, celebrations of life and also funerals. This song addresses the ache we feel to know our relationship with love itself and to Vision the perfection of that unity. During times when I thought I was going to go mad with grief, I was reminded of these words from my Teacher in "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World":
"Mahavakyam Meditation will be like peeling away layer after layer of an onion. While you are peeling the onion, your eyes will water. When all the layers are peeled away, you will find your true Self at the Center and you will realize the No-Thing out of which the whole Universe has emerged. Then you too can say, "I and the Universe are One," "I AM That I Am," "I am the Cause and the substance"."(P 105)
Ten years ago, while sitting on the livingroom floor with Narayan's guitar in my lap, I would have not been able to relate to the above quote. I did not realize that what my heart most wanted to feel was the reconnection with That which Love is. I only knew this feeling was flooding my being and I didn't have a clue of what to do with it. My heart ached to find a purpose for it. I didn't know where to pour that wealth. I didn't know what I could possibly want in my life if it was to be without the man I love. How can I even explain the profound effect that meditation has on grief? I have no words. Only in the singing journey of gratitude and aspirations are embedded the blueprints of this profound transformation.
Now I stand ready in that Vision of Love. This next phase of my journey will surely be filled with challenges and obstacles again. In the song garden of my highest dreams everything is already accomplished. To rise above the crude navigation of the mind's senses and allow Consciousness to unfold the design of my life remains my focus. As my Teacher quoted the famous Visionary Archimedes in his last Webinar, I feel compelled to continue exploring the wonders of the inner Self and bring these treasures forth. Imagine the possibilities if we each could imbibe the words of Archimedes:
"Give me a place to stand and I will move the world."
That place is within each of us if we only look for it.
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Next no charge webinar with Tulshi Sen:
Topic:
"What is the single biggest obstacle that prevents people from achieving success?"
Date: Thursday, December 3
Click here
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