Sunday, December 16, 2007

I thought I was looking for you.


“Yet I feel grateful for what I’ve learned
And the people to whom I turned
Now like a river that flows to the sea
I let them all go now to their own destiny
While I follow that one light blazing in me
I’m gonna’ find my own dream again…”


I thought I was looking for you. Tears and muffled sobs reached for you in all the hardest moments and every time came an answer. It was never really clear who you were so I created an image of you in my mind, an image that was shaped from my limited understanding of who you were. As I grew, you taught me to challenge all my ideals. You entered my thoughts through sheer kindness and began to expand my ideas of what is possible. Through songs and poetry you opened my heart. You shattered my understanding of love and revealed the eternal substance of nothingness. You appeared in other people’s eyes until I saw only extensions of my own beingness.

Still I felt the hunger of wanting to know you, touch you and reach into your essence. I sought mother, father, friend and lover. I needed to know you so that I would know from where I came. I needed to feel you so that I might have an inkling of who I am and where I belong. Still you showed me my limited ways of reaching for you. Ours is a private journey.

I stare into the mirror and let go. A sea of faces appears and disappears. We are not two. The layers of skin and bone shatter and the mask is broken. A light blazes forth in the silence and a still small voice “ I Am That I Am”.

I thought I was looking for you.
I was really looking for my Self.

This artwork and story is inspired by “The Story of the Lion Cub Who was Raised by Goats” in "Ancient Secrets of Success", by Tulshi Sen.
Photo-art: “Woman Within”
Song: “My Own Dream”