Living Dreams One Song at a Time

By Listening, my Heart Sees and Sings Its Joy

2011-12-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

Tonight a storm brews restless

It makes me feel uptight

I try to sing a peaceful song

But I just can’t seem to get it right

Oh let this darkness be removed

And cast into the sea

Of myself I do nothing

So I call the Warrior in me

Too many times I try it alone

And fall down deep in despair

And yet I know in each moment

You are always there

You lead me everywhere

Tonight I ask for a new song

From that kingdom deep within

I ask in that Holy Name

Creator of Everything

You lift this heart to sing

And then the darkness is removed

And cast into the sea

Of myself I do nothing

You are the Music in me

Journal Entry: December 29, 2011

By meditating on the 4 Proclamations, by continuously seeking new ways to express daily discoveries of unity and by playing with music and digital art, the sweetest revelations come one by one. This joy spills over into my day-to-day life and continues to lead me onward in such profound ways.

May you find the stories and songs of your Heart. May they guide your life forward towards more peace and prosperity in the Name of the One great Heart of all Creation.

"If you truly love yourself, you will take on the responsibility of self-direction." - Tulshi Sen

Run Where the Brave Dare Not Go

2011-12-25T17:08:00.000-08:00

May you find and keep balance in Faith
Never stop believing in the impossible dream
The one that aches to be born through you
The one that seems the hardest to believe in
The one that makes every defeat a victory
The one that promises to be your greatest teacher

MAKE 2011 YOUR BRAVEST YEAR EVER!!!!!

December 25, 2011

After treating myself to How We Can Have Giant Visions , I am reminded again of how I have settled for comfort and convenience instead of really wholeheartedly embracing the desires of my heart. I want to start this new upcoming year with clarity and courage. In so many ways, meditating on the 4 Proclamations has strengthened my daily interactions with the world. I feel more and more connected to the people and events around me. Art and poetry richly flow through as Consciousness reveals profound and wonderful aspects of myself.

In the next few months, I will review all 18 chapters again in order to continue to master the timeless principles of living a life of self-direction. I cannot express enough gratitude for how these principles continue to transform my relationships with family and friends, my attitude towards what freedom means to me, my desire to truly follow my heart and my intention to expand happiness. Listening to this seminar again today, I can see the places where I still settle for the recycled thoughts and desires of others.

This is my life work: to master my thoughts.

We Are What We Think!!!!!

There Is No Death In Love

2011-04-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Wander far in the name of Love but she will not be contained

She is within the walls of our temples breaking them apart

She is within the stone idols before they are shaped

She dips her toes in the water of all that has never been conceived

Ever the invitation to create our world persists

A divine orchestra of sublime composition recalls

This grand theme plays in the mysterious trinity of seasons:

Creation, preservation and destruction

Within our darkest thoughts, her light shines

Enough to explode stars back into planets again

She is neither four sided nor six sided

And yet she breathes through any shape we give her

She is the cool evening wind during a sunset

Filling each blade of grass with the promise of a new day

Every brightly colored leaf that fell in agony last year

Sweetly opens once more in the face of an eager bud

In the embrace of union, we feel her exhilaration

In the pregnant belly of a woman, her miracle

In the eyes of a child we feel her innocence

And yet over and over the wanderer loses

That which permeates everything he is

In everything he loves and despises, she waits

Through him and without him the law insists

That there is no death in Love’s eternal womb

Ganga Fondan, 2011

Let the Heart Lead the Head in the Dance of Love

2011-01-17T18:52:00.000-08:00

There is no small offering for love

For she will burn you through and through

Until you let go of trying to lead

Until you realize she is the life itself

And all elements bend to her delight

And all you can really do is surrender

All you can really allow is the falling

Feel the ecstasy that comes with sacrifice

Melt in the arms of this realization

And she will offer you everything in return

She will offer you the sun and the moon

For what are they but specks of dust to her

She will fill your cup with oceans

For what are they but drops of Eternity

She will light up the night with diamond stars

For what are they but sparks of Limitlessness

You have leapt into this existence with longing

And she has pierced you through and through

Until in that writhing pain you surrender duality

Finally in this merging you become One

Ganga Fondan, 2011

Working on this post today, while contemplating the words of the quote below, I suddenly had a strange recollection of a movie that had upset me terribly as a young girl. It was the story of a young American who follows his friend back to the Polynesian Islands and falls madly in love with his friend's sister there. After a series of disasters, the local volcano begins to erupt threatening the lives of everyone in the village. A heart wrenching decision by the leaders of the village require her to sacrifice her life by leaping into the volcano. They believe this will appease the gods. The young American begs her to run away with him, but eventually she decides to follow her heart to the top of the volcano. I remember staring at the screen, crying my eyes out, angry with her, with the villagers, with him for not taking her away...and she jumped. Even as I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes. It was such an intense act of love, of selflessness even though she was terrified to do it. She loved the American yet a deeper cause called out to her. Why she would choose to die perplexed me for a long time.

Years later I would meet someone who tells me he has just relapsed with a fatal disease. I look into his eyes and see a man of substance. Every fiber of my being says he is a fighter and he will win his fight. There are moments that call out to us and require a great leap of faith. Many of my friends and family questioned my desire when I chose to marry him but my heart had already fallen in love and was willing to do anything to serve that love. There was not a single doubt in my mind although I did feel frightened of what he would have to endure and that I might lose him. I don't regret a single moment of entering into that love with him. It continues in a profound way even now. I feel him in everything around me and he remains the champion of my heart. There are so many things we will never understand in this life, but if we remember to keep dancing with the heart, find the wonder and beauty in everything that exists in and around us, we will live a life of enchantment and romance. As my Teacher so eloquently puts it:

“This life is a dance between your mind and your Consciousness. It is a romance only if Consciousness leads.” – Tulshi Sen

Even the Ruins Now Sing Me Their Song

2011-01-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

The memory still dances in my head like a song
A new kingdom called from above the clouds
The thunderous sound of hooves took you away
When finally my eyes lowered to explore about me
Everything had tumbled and fallen
Everything needed rebuilding
But I felt no strength for the task
Emptied and swollen had no heart to reconstruct
Now many years later in this same place of ruins
A new image emerges:
Flowers bloom on every torn down wall
Now each broken stone entices me over and over
That I may keep focused on the renewing sky
That it may show me how this dream continues
In everything I AM
This Immortal love song aches to continue

- Ganga Fondan, 2011: "Song of the Ruins"

It's amazing to me how past experiences can be revisited with new eyes, with a more receiving heart and offer to us a new place of transformation. This dream referred to in the above poem actually happened a few months after my lover left this world. I saw him on a great horse and he was leaving, promising to return for me one day. Turning around finally, I had to face the world feeling very alone. Everything seemed to be like a broken down fortress and I didn't feel the desire to start building my world again. Instead, I wanted to overcome the loss and have the freedom to run away at any time. My Teacher kept reminding me that one day I would experience great joy again. Deep inside I knew it was so, but this remained just a flicker in the unfolding years to come. One of the greatest tools given to me was the practice of the Four Proclamations. Through these four declarations, it is possible to overcome a sense of aloneness and separateness from the world around us. Though I have always trusted in the ways of the Universe, there were so many times when I felt apart from this Unity I so ached to feel. With the daily focus on the Ancient Teachings, the paradigms of my mind had strengthened in ways I could not even recognize until recently when I went back to the dream I had all those years ago. Suddenly I saw how all the hardships had helped me to see more of the sky. The broken down structures had offered themselves to give me a greater view of my connection with the limitless aspect of myself. Suddenly what was once a dark and empty place, now blooms with flowers and possibility. I can stand there in that place and feel connected to my love. I can look up into the night and know with every fiber of my being that there is no separation and that there is no lack. I practice every day to remind myself. The dawn of joy slowly rises within me and I feel the ecstatic parts of myself awakening again.

“Isn’t it madness to live in a conditioned world while you know that your Consciousness is always in the Absolute and in the Unconditioned?” – Tulshi Sen

Grant Me the Courage to Shine in that Light

2011-01-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

I was in love with your fearlessness

I danced with abandon in your shadow

and celebrated your victories

I was in love with your audacity

I danced with abandon in your shadow

and marvelled at all your desires

You wore a great mask of bravery

which you tossed aside in fear

when you saw the maskmaker coming

You ran away

I didn't know why

The maskmaker said one day I would understand

Now I dance alone

in the heart of the Universe

I feel a light on my face

Your gift to me has been this calling out

to leave the shadows and experience my bliss

Song "The Invitation"Ganga Fondan, 2009

Image: "Leave the Shadow Dancing, 2009

This song is dedicated to all the people audacious enough to feign courage, to all the people I hid behind when I thought I had nothing to offer. They are the ones who shrank when it was time to pay the piper, but in their slinking away forced to remain and face the Truth. Of course I felt mystified and overwhelmed. I felt angry and hurt. How could I know that they would never stay during the upheaval that eventually came? Of course I cried like a baby and wanted to run far away from my life again. But I didn't did I? This time I didn't run. This time I turned to face what I felt so terrified to look at. While striving to feel unity with everything and everyone, I forgot one important factor. These challenges come as gift to the spirit. These disappointments and disillusionments come with a boon. It's not obvious at first, but standing alone in that light is the opportunity for an authentic experience. What have I come to sing in this life? What has love revealed to me through the trials and victories of my days? Has my years of slavery to my conditioning shown me exemplary strengths within myself that may now serve a higher purpose? Chills run up and down my spine. A new tension fills my body, but a still quiet voice inside my heart whispers "Let go". This song is for all those who threw their masks down and ran so that I would ache to know the meaning of true courage. I embrace this moment for them and their moments to come in facing that light.

"All the power that ever was or will be is here in you right now." - Tulshi Sen

Dance My Heart and Create My World - October Logs

2010-10-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Have you ever had a dream that you whispered to the sky
Have you ever wanted wings so that you could fly
Oh believe it will happen
What wonders you will see...
As all your dreams come to be

Well I wanted some relief from a lonely and confused youth
Just a little inner peace with the master of the truth
I believed it would happen
What wonders did I see...
As all the chains began to fall from me

Well I wanted to find love: share my life with a special man
A whisper from above said "Believe, believe you can..."
So I believed it would happen
What wonder did I see...
Well that man he found me

Oh believe in the power of your dreams
Life is seldom what it seems
Ask for all the glorious Grace
that you may see your Vision face to face

Then I dreamed a child would come
from the union of our love
just like a daughter or a son
from the Light that shines above
I believed it would happen
My Vision is so strong
That child lives in every song

Oh believe in the power of your dreams
Life is seldom what it seems
Ask for all the glorious Grace
that you may see your Vision face to face

Have you ever had a dream that you whispered to the sky
Have you ever wanted wings so that you could fly
Oh believe it will happen
What wonders you will see...
As all your dreams come to be"

Ganga Fondan 2006, "Whispered DreamSong" (Lyrics)
Graphic art from Photo-shoot with dancer Indrani Margolin in 2007

Journal Entry: October 15, 2010
The mystic sage Sri Aurobindo once spoke about his famous work, "Savitri" and described a process whereby he felt himself repeatedly transformed while writing it and had to change it again and again over the years. He said it was a living arena which led him to higher levels of self-realization. This had a huge impact on how I wanted to experience the creativity that flows through me. These songs and artwork are carrying me to deeper levels of knowing myself and leading me to a place where I can grow and expand. This particular song began in my teens and has changed its shape many times lyrically and musically. It continues to urge me to go even deeper into the principles of experiencing my oneness with Consciousness. The ache rises again as the wind bends low to hear the calling of my dreams.

Journal Entry: October 31, 2010

Of man :

"God-man (nara-narayana) is thy definition, it is not a delusion but truth. In thee the infinite seeks the finite, the perfect knowledge seeks love and when the form and the Formless (the individual and the universal) are united love is fulfilled in devotion." - Rajjib, poet saint of medieval India

( translated by Rabindranath Tagore)

Reading this a few times today brought tears to my eyes. The simplicity of this insight embraces the entire human race and all its thousands of daily attempts to understand its purpose here. It embraces the precious glimpses of ecstasy that arises when the infinite pierces the shell of understanding. Selflessness, sacrifice, unconditional love mean nothing unless I can feel that connection wholeheartedly. Millions reach out to help in unknown lands yet forget their own neighborhoods. Many sacrifice in their neighborhoods and neglect their families. Many raise beautiful families yet are oblivious of their own dreams. Many fulfill their dreams yet do not know the whispers of their own hearts. Without love, without self-knowledge, the path to service is empty. Without the inner guidance, how can we become instruments of stillness, limitlessness and peace? Staring into the dancing flame of the candle on my table, my heart aches to follow that true compass and steer only by That.

A Sound Mind Soars - September Logs

2010-09-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

"The urge to stretch and move and soar
fills the clouds of thought once more
and strikes at once the heart to wake
to hear the music of its ache

The colors from beneath the skin
begin to twirl and shift and spin
until the body moves apart
expanding sound into an art

The song now rich with ear and eye
stretches arms across the sky
Beyond the realm of time and space
this goddess smiles and finds her place

Invoking all within the One
she bows before the rising sun
In silence It had called her name
to resurrect in Truth again"

(April 28, 2009,
"That Thou Art - Series")

Journal Entry: September 16, 2010
More than 20 years ago, I could feel nothing but contraction and confusion. I ached to know where I belong and to know what I was meant to do with my life. My journey took me far to the other side of the country. Now I return to honor my dad's life and memory. Singing at his ceremony less than a month ago, I felt the abundance of my life journey. Amongst the sadness of the people, I felt a trust that my dad was light and free. His earthly life was not so, but now I could feel the release into a greater expansion. It was the same feeling that comes with deep meditation. The same sense of freedom I felt when my husband left this world many years ago. Now, there is a sense of assurance. We do not need to wait for the body to fall away. I feel overwhelming gratitude for my Teacher and the way of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World". Day by day I experience new revellations of my soul, new songs and art expressions, new discoveries in the Goddess Self that reaches into Oneness and Unity with all. "My Consciousness is the Creator".

Steve Jobs expressed this so well : September 25, 2010:

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels? We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
(Steve Jobs, Apple Computers)

Journal Entry: September 27, 2010

"The river and the wave are one surf. what is the difference between the river and the wave? When the wave rises it is water. When it falls, it is the same water again." - Kabir

The exquisite words of the 14th century poet, Kabir pulsate through me today. I woke up today and watched the DVD of my dad's life which we made for his funeral (Celebration of Life). I watched all the pictures one by one. His babyhood, his boyhood, his awkward early years, his marriage to my mom, his children, his friends, ...his experiences which unravel like a storybook that could be read over and over. His life came out of the great Eternal and now has gone back to It. We spend our whole life studying and separating concepts that exist in a unity. In order to understand life, we forget our oneness with it. I watch the pictures one by one. His appearance changes slightly from frame to frame. Did he accomplish what he set out to do? When I close my eyes and try to feel him, I know he is free. I feel comfort in Kabir's words. I remember once when my Teacher's eyes twinkled as he said " Can you remember a time when you were not?" This makes me smile. I ask inside that I may accomplish what I came here to do. I open my eyes and see the blank screen. An unspoken voice echoes "the sky's the limit". I remember from "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" that this river of life cannot go backwards nor can it feed off of the repeated memories of yesterday because true imagination is active and alive and takes us to places we have never been before. My Teacher taught me that "knowledge is the past and imagination is the future". I take out the DVD and put it back in its case. I wonder what story my own DVD will play some day. Again I hear the Unspoken Voice within "the sky is the limit."

Journal Entry: September 29, 2010

Tonight I feel like I spend too much time looking at the sky. I see the stars behind the dark clouds and forget the about the one blazing in my heart. My eyes and ears marvel at the accomplishments of others and forget to feel the call of the One who sings within. I feel a sadness tonight and it draws me inside again. I recognize the fear of failing. It's so subtle. Courage is coaxing me onward again.

Journal Entry: September 30, 2010

Oh my Heart, Lead Thou me onward... Let me follow my bliss...

"Obstacles are those frightening things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

"Imagination is more important than knowledge for knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand while imagination embraces the entire world and all there ever will be to know and understand." - Albert Einstein

"Power Your World with Imagination..." - Tulshi Sen

Dare to Be Free - August Logs

2010-07-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

"I stand on a mountain and see a higher one still
I must go through a valley to conquer that hill
You're the guide of my journey
I live in Your Name
You move me forward
'Til nothing's the same
You lift my eyes upward to that next highest peak
While the battle is raging in that valley so deep
Oh how You lift me every time I let go
I feel you inside me as I tremble so
The dark has subsided
The sun shines anew
That mountain is waiting
I know what I must do"

Ganga Fondan, 2004
(Song Lyrics - "Courage Creed")

Journal Entry: August 1, 2010
Something is stirring beneath my awareness. I feel it slithering back and forth like a snake underwater. I feel a shift coming and I'm not sure from which direction. There is a rising deep within which overshadows my fear of falling. There is an urge to let go to this feeling and trust that like a song or like a poem, it will make itself known. My reflexes tell me to recoil but there is an unknown assurance moving my heart to release each moment as it unfolds. Externally nothing has changed. A silent whisper urges me to remember this time. What phase is this? Uncertainty waits in every direction. My mom often told me that I clung to her body and resisted my biological birth as long as I could. I sometimes have trouble letting go. Let me now surrender to the power that cared for me in in my mother's womb.

Journal Entry: August 7, 2010

Tonight, a conversation with a man I know only a little, remains with me. He lost his father and brother in a shower of bullets in his own home. He was only 10 years old. Later he became a soldier for 8 years and killed other men. He watched many of his friends die. He left his country and started a new life. He has dreams like me. He wants to live a peaceful and creative life like me. Like most of us. As he walked away I felt a pain in my heart. I want to dig deeper to that place of peace within. The greatest Masters spoke of it. They never dreamed only for themselves.

Journal Entry: August 11, 2010

That Thou Art. I stare at the miracle of the Jade plant near my windowsill. Six months ago it came crashing down from my refrigerator smashing the clay pot to bits. It felt upsetting to pick up the plant and rescue it along with the dirt into a small plastic shopping bag which I then placed in a cookie tin. I felt so upset that I began to ignore the plant altogether and give it a chance to die. For no reason I could understand within myself, I wanted it to die quickly. I knew it could not survive the plastic bag. Over the months I barely watered it. A funny thing began to happen. The main stem, divided into two began to let half the tree die to sacrifice itself for the other half. The left side though barely hanging on began to arch towards the window, towards the sunlight and the songs of birds. The right side wilted and bent itself low and finally shriveled up. The left side began to grow two branches out of itself and on each was two leafy stems growing. The leaves grew thicker and slightly red underneath. They all stand upright and slightly ever so gracefully bend themselves toward the window as if they are bowing. Tonight I stare at this wonder. I run my right pointer finger along the thick stem. This Jade plant is an image of my heart. The life force of the heart continues no matter how many obstacles block its way. The energy sacrifices itself to return to its original state in order that it may continue threefold: creating, created, creator... when Narayan left this world, his side of my heart brought strength to allow me to reach towards the window of enlightenment. Thank-you for the insight. "That Thou Art."

Journal Entry: August 13, 2010

Deep deep within everything that exists is the essence of nonexistence which brought everything out of itself. There is no gap. I find that completely exhilarating.

*********

Journal Entry: for August 17, 2020 (entered September 14)

My dad unexpectedly leaves this world 4 days after my last entry. Today I read the journal observations on this page over and over and vow to myself to increasingly cherish the creative inner work because without it, we are deaf, dumb and blind racing through a life without meaning. This gift will be honored as will the teachings that continuously connect my heart and my head. My heart was preparing me for this time. A new chapter in my life begins.

Alive in Your Song: June - July

2010-06-17T23:46:00.001-07:00

Keep my dream alive in your Song:
It frames beautiful thoughts within me
Touches my life with magnificent light
Expands love in every direction
Speaks softly to my purpose
Points my chin back up to the stars
It stirs the imagination
Gives voice to my feelings
Shakes off the mantle of apathy
Commands a sensitivity towards life
Brings me back to my center
Reminds me that we live from the inside out
Sees through the transparent mind
Leads me back to the wisdom of cause
Honors the uniqueness of my gifts
Breaks my fall when I miss the mark

Dusts me off and encourages me
to dream the impossible dream

Ganga Fondan, 2010

Journal Entry June 18, 2010

Continuing my SongQuest this week. It was first my husband and then my Teacher who opened up the Song of life and asked me to sing my part. My life unfolds in this music. Nothing tangible to fix on and yet this navigation penetrates everything I think and feel and do.

Journal Entry July1, 2010

I feel like something is expanding every paradigm, every perception and every idea that runs through my mind. More and more I remember the words: "My Consciousness creates". Tonight while walking home I could smell such a variety of scents in the evening wind. Every few steps came a new one. With each new smell I asked : "Who is sensing this?" I have walked down this street hundreds of times. Why is my sense of smell opening now? An unspoken feeling of a greater intelligence flowed through my thoughts. Then there was an aching running through my body. This unspoken feeling seemed to say "there is so much more to who you are ... stop leaking". Then in a flash came another feeling : "there is no hurry".

Journal Entry, July 7, 2010

In this SongQuest, my senses start to look outward at the world and see the tremendous injustice and imbalance there still seems to be. Political oppression and tremendous poverty still shadow so much of this planet. It hurts inside to feel it all and a paralysis overcomes me. It's too much. Then the words of my Teacher come back and remind me that transformation can only happen from within. What do I see? I see a place for the singing. Each day, the singing builds peace. The images of hope, courage and rapture return with each strum of the guitar. My face turns towards the lightness again and my voice sings in the direction of waves calling me home.

Journal Entry, July 31, 2010

It is the middle of the night. Lifting my head and opening my eyes, the outer world overwhelms me again. Such brutality and ignorance, such greed and fear mongering! The emotions rise and fall accordingly and I feel that old familiar paralysis yet again. Now I don't want to sing or dance. I don't want to feel this anymore. Why am I here? I listen to the girls outside my window. They are drunk with laughter and forgetting. I watch them under the shadow of the trees. They shout out to each other and shriek with pleasure. I remember the feeling of alcohol in my blood. I remember the numbness and the slowing down. I remember the sobering and the aching to know what is real and what is not. I watch them playing while so oblivious of all the sleeping people. Slowly I feel my breath filling up the inside of my belly. A subtle feeling reminds me of the story of the lion who found a lion cub being raised in a herd of sheep. It took a while for that lion to convince the little cub that he was not a sheep but a lion like him. The grass eating and bleating cub did not believe this huge majestic creature at first. Suddenly, in this moment I am that cub again. Looking into the water of the pond, I see a reflection. I close my eyes and remember my part in the wildness of the world. I go back in to seek the lion and shed myself of any trace of thinking that I was ever a sheep at all.

Enraptured with "Whisper the Trees"

2010-06-04T15:57:00.001-07:00

Listening to the music: "Whisper the Trees":

I feel young enough to experience the elation of the trees that reach out to connect with me. All around me their green sings into the dancing breeze. This forest has stood on the edge of a song for an eternity...waiting for me to come. Deep within my Being there is whirling and laughter. Everything is alive and pulsating. I know you are there with me. I know you are here with me. Letting go of skin and bone...blood and water... all fading, my heart floats upwards into the trees. What is it you came to show me? What is the message that waits here in this music? Feelings of gentleness flow around. Feelings of caring and softness overwhelm my awareness. What is there that shall endure? The question formulates like a dream. All the mountains and oceans shall pass away. What can be conquered is but temporary. Is it noble to have much and give much. Is it righteous to be known and preferred? What is important in this life? Shall we be remembered in books and music for lifetimes? What endures? The leaves shiver all around me echoing one Word.

What is the one Word that describes what endures? I long for my body, for my internal organs, for my mind and senses so that I may know this answer. Tears come quickly and I want to run deeper into the forest, deeper into the colors of my home here on earth. I long for my lover, his eyes, his arms around me, around this flesh which covers me like a blanket. Skin against skin merging in those moments of exhilaration and surrender, did we not find that which endures even if only for a fleeting moment? Am I alone now to live within that Word? Above me the trees stand strong and resilient. They know the secret of kindness. They shall let me find this way on my own. My knees drop to the earth and my head touches the ground. I whisper "Show me what endures."

The song continues. I see your face before me. The Word is beyond the intellect and you and I are forever a part of it. There is nothing to do or know to be One. This freedom is ours to play in wholeness. In this Oneness there is everything. I miss you and yet I know we are never apart. It is the human paradox we continue to unravel. "Whisper the Trees" leads me down a golden path. There is still much to discover. My heart feels lighter. It remembers the songs of our true home. Now the entire forest rejoices and sings along.

Listening to this album tonight stirs up deep feelings of love for Narayan. He reaches through the harp strings, through the voice and beauty of Elke's lyrics. She sings from that place which he used to reach into. She lets her feelings out and I am one with her. He is with her. He is with me. She remembers her brother and I remember my lover. We are sisters forever in our love for him and sing the songs of compassion and tenderness. We sing the songs of the One Heart.

"Where Dreams Really Do Come True"

2010-05-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

In my effort to find you
I made you into the image of everything I knew
The memory bank was full of reference points
First a ghost, a man, the wind, the stars
Then a breeze, a whisper, the pen, the paper
The lover, the husband, the friend, the song
Like Dorothy in a dream every piece of my life
Spoke to me through you
Until she was sent back
To wake up and smash through the illusion
All along the props were designed to teach
To be the teacher
To be the lesson
To be the student
And the learning itself
Everything is a dream
My right hand reaches through the curtain
To touch the sky
While my left clings affectionately
To everything beautiful the breath has shaped
Knowing full well you are these still lingering
Like the sweet sleep just before the dawn

Ganga Fondan 2010

Journal Notes: May 24, 2010
Staring into the dark night, I reach into a place which is neither attainable nor unattainable. The place of art and poetry eases me into connection. The tools are alive as Consciousness leads me in a dance of release and holding. My mind blissfully follows. After the layers of digital colors and after the poetry ... the silence waits: "There's no place like home."

Disappear Into the Magic of a Song

2010-05-20T16:00:00.001-07:00

"Life is thinking and feeling. Feeling creates thought and thought creates a mold which the Universe works to fill instantaneously. It pours the Universal substance into the mold of thought to manifest it. That is why Science today declares we create by observation. Consciousness creates reality. The Universe is observer created." - Tulshi Sen

The artist in me doesn't want to think of how the laws of the Universe operate. I just want to express and have the work tell me its own story. I've read the above passage over and over these last few years and it is not until today that it actually thrills me to read and repeat this particular excerpt. Why? I suddenly realize why I feel so much resistance to learning how to do a thing before I have found a way through it on my own. It's actually because of the following poem inspired by the artwork that I understand the principle. Feelings poured out of me years ago that turned into dozens of songs and then afterwards, graphic art pieces. The Universe was opening a pathway for me to follow and all I had to do was let go and ask for the expression. It thrills me to no end now because, I can cite aspects of this journey scientifically and artistically:

an urge filled with sound arose
formulated with a question
which sputtered out
years ago over a pool of tears
aching for the song
that would take the pain away
just so my life could dance every day
then
out of the darkness
from the depths of a vivid and pulsating Universe
came a rhythm
came an answer
came a melody
that burst into a crescendo of music
filled with joyous movement
my Heart brings forth the abundance
out of No-Thing over and over
until my body disappears in this jubilation
and I AM everywhere all at once

Ganga Fondan 2010

Without the actual feeling of an experience, how can merely knowing the laws enrich our lives? I meet dozens of people every week who want to read a book on falling in love, on dieting, on how to be a good parent, on how to have less clutter and all the while they remain oblivious as to why the last book didn't quite do the trick. The answers are not in mere knowledge alone. When the ache to experience these things is so strong, the Universe will comply. In this substance we lose ourselves to the experience and witness the manifestation of the very thing that eluded us. The true Masters who know this always bring the focus back to the inner Self. the place we dream from, create from and manifest from is within us. Our challenge is only to release ourselves from the clutches of our own past conditioning which finds endless ways to increase our reliance on anything other than what we know to be true within.

I remember once how my Teacher smiled and told us:

"First came art and then came science to explain art."

As I continue to reread "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" over and over again, I feel the laws alive more and more in my heart. These meditations open me up to create and honor the impulses that come up and the tools of visioning guide me to focus and be vigilant on this path of Self discovery. The language of Consciousness continues to reveal its wonders.

Delight in the Music of the Paradoxical Quest

2010-05-06T15:22:00.001-07:00

Why should I care to find my song?
Why should you care to find yours?
Don’t we vibrate in an Ocean of Sound?
Does the dream of reaching ourselves
To finally know who we are
To finally know where we are going
Delight an Answer in limitless queries?
Don’t our bodies soak in possibility
Within the larger symphony of stars and galaxies
Beyond all mathematical perplexity?
Will our shallow throated emissions
Penetrate the shells still dividing us?
From nowhere and everywhere
This paradoxical quest holds the Tune
We are each an aspect of its vital Harmony
We find our journey waiting and singing to us
To invoke a much deeper throated response
Until we feel ourselves to be Home

Ganga Fondan, 2010

A week ago, while walking under a great tree filled with birds singing so beautifully, I wondered how they all know how to make this sound as a group. The songs literally lifted my heart. I stood completely silent. I just let their chirping soak deeply into me. It felt wholesome and sweet. Through the tiny bodies of birds came this soothing and this joyful vibration. Staring at the other people walking by I noticed that most of them were wearing headphones. I thought about how often I hear but I really don't listen to what's really happening all around me. There are natural sounds. There are man-made sounds. In a movie called "August Rush", a young boy looks around and feels all of it like a great symphony and uses this Song of Life to find his parents. Can we find a similar way of navigating?

The songs that poured through my heart all these years have a deeper purpose than even I know. So many times I've wondered what they are for? Now I feel myself wanting to sing again and find the answer. When I sing it feels like all the cells of my body become centered and peaceful. I wonder if that is why the birds carry on as passionately as they do. I feel like they are small guides singing me Home. In this place there is no stress or fear. There is no need for greed or jealousy. In this place I know the whole world joins in to delight in the exhilarating celebration of life.

"Prayer for Expanding Love from Myself..."

2010-04-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

“O Divine Mother, teach me to use the gift of Thy love, which I feel in my heart, to love the members of my family more than myself. Bless me, that I may love my neighbors more than my family. Expand my heart’s feelings, that I love my country more than my neighbors, and my world and all my human brethren, more than my country, neighbors, family, and my own self.

Lastly, teach me to love Thee more than anything else, for it is only Thy love that enables me to love everything. Without Thee, I could not love anything or anybody.

Father Divine, teach me to enter through the portals of family love, and that of the love of my friends, into the mansion of wider social love. Teach me to pass from there through the doors of social love, and into the wider mansion of international love. Then teach me to pass through the portals of international love into the endless territory of the divine love, wherein I perceive all animate and inanimate objects as breathing and living by Thy love alone.

Teach me to tarry not at any alluringly beautiful gate of family, social, or international love. Teach me to pass through all the portals that lead to the smaller gardens of love until, passing through the last gate of human love, I enter into the endless territory of divine love where I shall find all living, semi-living, and sleeping things to be my very own.”

- Paramhansa Yogananda, “Whispers of Eternity”

Reading theses words today made my heart sing. I feel another SongQuest coming on and Easter week-end is the perfect timing for such an undertaking. May this prayer expand your heart and may it save you from the existence of mundane events and stir your heart to soar and sing with the whole Universe. This digital artwork is music put to canvas. These songs come in many forms. May we have courage to listen.

Happy Easter!!!

Enters My Room Lifting My Heart

2010-03-26T21:15:00.001-07:00

“Here comes the Sun
Like a mother in the morning
Enters my room
Raises the shades
of my mind

Softly the Light
takes me in her arms
Kisses me good-morning
Lifting my heart

Opens the window
Lets the breeze come in
The songs of birds enter the day
My mother smiles so sweetly now
Oh let it always feel this way

On and on I wander through this life
And though the grey clouds do appear
to be everywhere
I know the sun is there
in my room…

Here comes the Sun…”

Ganga Fondan, 2010

The light enters softly on some mornings. The daylight streams in subtle rays and softly penetrates everything it touches. There is a calm and lifting feeling as the warmth of the sun brings a smile to my lips. She enters as a mother, sweet and smiling and circulating around me. Usually on this kind of day, my guitar, Antara waits ready. Feelings surface into songs.

I close my eyes and see the room so clearly. It shines like a temple of radiance and the Great Mother takes away the shadows of doubt and resistance. All trouble is released and in the arms of something beyond any words, I feel elevated and vibrating with joy. This sun holds me and sends me forth into the day like a bursting star.

On days like these, songs spring forth and bend themselves into images and pools of colors on my digital canvas. On days like these purpose comes alive in every heartbeat repeating over and over:

"Consciousness is the Creator"

If You Want to Change the World...Love A Woman

2010-03-16T17:40:00.001-07:00

“If you want to change the world… love a woman-really love her.
Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense.
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen.
Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing-
every winged one, every furry and scaled one,
every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one,
every not yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life.
If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough.
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet,
you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.

If you want to change the world… love a woman-one woman
beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,
beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and variety
and all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices
we have forgotten that true liberation
comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire
and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is only one Goddess.
Look into Her eyes and see-really see
if she is the one to bring the axe to your head.
If not, walk away. Right now.
Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her
because ultimately it’s not with who,
but when we choose to surrender.

If you want to change the world… love a woman.
Love her for life-beyond your fear of death,
beyond your fear of being manipulated
by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her.
Say you’re willing to LIVE with her,
plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty,
by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess
through your adoration and devotion.

If you want to change the world… love a woman
in all her faces, through all her seasons
and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-
your double-mindedness and half-heartedness
which keeps your Spirit and body separate-
which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self
for something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman.
Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one
and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars,
trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices.
What man needs is Woman, the Way of the Feminine,
of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing,
of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots
strong enough to hold the Earth together
while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.

If you want to change the world… love a woman, just one woman.
Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel.
Love her through her fear of abandonment
which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone.
No, she is not weak in her codependence.
If you want to change the world… love a woman
all the way through
until she believes you,
until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion,
her wildness have returned to her-
until she is a force of love more powerful
than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.

If you want to change the world,
lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger
and love a woman…
beyond all of your striving for greatness,
beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you
if you would only take her in your arms
and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.

What if peace is a dream which can only be re-membered
through the heart of Woman?
What if a man’s love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine
is the key to opening Her heart?
If you want to change the world…love a woman
to the depths of your shadow,
to the highest reaches of your Being,
back to the Garden where you first met her,
to the gateway of the rainbow realm
where you walk through together as Light as One,
to the point of no return,
to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth.”
-Lisa Citore

This is my dedication to Lisa Citore for her fabulous poem. It reminds me of when my Teacher reminds us to honor all women because each one of us came through the womb of a woman. It is the greatest mystery and the closest we come to the Divine experience becoming flesh within us.

Thank-you Chameli for sending me this poem.
Thank-you Lisa for writing these wholesome and awe-inspiring words.

Women have so much more to contribute to the welfare and harmonious evolution of the world. When we make this feminine experience valuable and necessary, the entire way that men and women experience life will completely be transformed. I can say first hand that the more my life came in touch with this inner feminine beauty, the more my soul mate and lover proclaimed his devotion to me. The more I felt his love, the more I wanted to expand this feeling outward to the entire Universe!

"Reaching Deeper Into the Garden of Gethsemane"

2010-02-23T20:02:00.001-08:00

"I saw the Storm and ice covered land
I saw the frozen trees so silent
I saw the blackness of their branches
under the unforgiving snow
Down down into the earth i went
Deeper and darker places surrounded me
Until the colors came
Until the swirling shapes danced around me
There the roots of life drew forth from a greater Life
This is the place of the Great Dream
Where the Garden ever pulsates
From this place the roots draw forth and sustain entire worlds
The seasons draw from on eternal Spring
changing the shapes of Infinity over and over again
Ganga Fondan, 2010

Unedited from a journal entry written after meditating on the "Four Eternal Principles". Focusing on the meaning of those journaled words came this artwork on digital canvas. It reminds me of how everything we touch, taste, smell, see, feel, hear....is connected to a greater Source beyond the senses and immerses us in a grander experience each time we are courageous enough to let go of all the small ways we know ourselves.

It was such a vivid unfolding worth recording. Beneath the cold and snow covered earth, there is always an ocean of swirling colors and shapes just aching to burst through the dark surface and renew the world again and again. The word "Infinity" itself is worth meditating on again and again and again. Somehow in the rational side of ourselves we need to measure and quantify the beauty and pain in our lives. We forget that, like the seasons we evolve in the most profound ways. In the pain of a seed bursting open grows a most wonderful tree. When the tree withers and dies, there is a renewal again in the earth as the essence of life plays again and again into new shapes and forms.

Sitting there in the basement of my parent's home on such a cold wintry day in Alberta, I listened to "Consciousness Rising". My mind felt a bit agitated at the beginning so I let go and floated into the strings of the Tamboura and let my body become as light as the flute sound that called out to me. This time I did not listen to the Teacher's words exactly but let them wash over me. Then the vision of the poem began and a rush of wonder went through my body. I scribbled out the words that came with the images.

This whole experience is symbolic of my visit out West. I see my life deeper, richer, brighter and more meaningful than I did as a young girl growing up. Beneath those stormy years were roots digging deep into the earth and drinking from places I did not yet realize.

All I can say now is that I trust in those roots and in the place they draw from. My life evolves like that Great Garden into many more wondrous shapes, colors and experiences. A place where everything is still possible.

The Heart's Wisdom has Always and Will Always Lead Us Home Again and Again

2010-02-16T10:42:00.001-08:00

Your Grace is ever upon me
There is no step I take alone
Your wings of Love ever surround me
on this journey home

Your Forgiveness ever a torchlight
Your Wisdom the map in my hand
When your kindness blows through me
like a warm summer breeze
what is there to understand?

There is no grief that can hold me
There is no sadness that can stay
Your songs of comfort ever guide me
Your words of courage light the way

You fill my cup with riches
Your Joy is infinite and true
Oh I would be a heap of ashes
were it not for You

Ganga Fondan, 2001

It feels great to be sitting here at my blog again and processing the feelings running through me these past few weeks. This trip out West stands out as an important milestone in this life journey. There was a moment while flying at 400 mph at 40,000ft up in the air that I asked quietly within that my thoughts may stay centered and detached and that my heart may be filled with love and non-judgement. Usually when I have flown anywhere I've taken time to create the emotional experiences first in my mind. This time I just wanted to witness the events of the coming days and stay focussed on loving. I had to laugh that my body was being hurled through space high above the earth but my mind did not feel like it was moving at all. Settling into the window bulkhead seat with two seats next to me empty, I wrote a serious inventory of my life using my well worn copy of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World".

The following days streamed past me like a great rushing river filled with laughter, songs, celebration (including my dad's 70th birthday party)and stories. A strange detachment penetrated my Being but I felt intensely present everywhere I went. In order to visit everybody we stayed up some nights just to catch up. Deep within me, I felt a presence of Love. A Love that had always been beside me in the early years. Some moments felt like I had been there before in the same experience only I was much older now. I don't think I can put that into words. I suddenly felt that my awareness of this Presence was stronger than in my youth but It had nonetheless always been guiding my life. Now I was merely a witness to the wonder of those days. It was exhilarating to discover for myself that "awareness" is everything. For years my Teacher had always said:

"We don't learn anything. We discover what we already know."

I feel genuinely grateful for the happiness that my family and friends exuded. I feel so grateful for the love and acceptance they grace me with. My desires and dreams have sometimes been so different than theirs but they love me nonetheless. The great Heart continues to shower these blessings throughout my life. On the return flight home, I wrote more ideas into my notebook. There are still so many feelings to explore.

Today's digital image best captures the idea of looking over my shoulder and not feeling alone, of the awareness of Presence and of nature's greater design. The words were written several years ago when in the darkest stages of grief and loss, a feeling of Joy would flow through me so abundantly and express itself in song. No matter what happens in my life, I know that my Heart will ever bring me Home again and again.

"Consciousness creates Reality."

Wake Up Dreamchild of the Sun and Shine

2010-01-22T17:03:00.001-08:00

"The moon shines in my body,

but my blind eyes cannot see it:

The moon is within me, and so is the sun.

The unstruck drum of Eternity is sounded within me;
but my deaf ears cannot heart it.

So long as man clamours for the I and the Mine,
his works are as naught:
When all love for the I and the Mine is dead,
then the work of the Lord is done.
For work has no other aim
than the getting of knowledge:
When that comes then work is put away.

The flower blooms for the fruit:
When the fruit comes, the flower withers.
The musk is in the deer,
but it seeks it not within itself:
It wanders in the quest of grass."

-Kabir (13th Century Ecstatic Poet)
(Translation by Rabindranath Tagore)

We sit quietly sometimes overwhelmed with our own smallness. In a world where gigantic governments have revealed themselves as power mongers and technological advancements have made our lives simpler but not easier, how do we find a way to live in harmony with the world and all of its challenges? How do we fulfill our purpose and make sure that we leave the world a better place than the one we came into? This is often a question on my mind. Through contemplation, meditation, soulful creativity, and a sense of humor, the inward search becomes the only source of aspiration and hope. The tremendous connection to everything is not possible when we are still asleep .

A soft unspoken voice endlessly resonates within us "Wake Up" and know yourself in unity with everything and everyone. In a blade of grass, in the song of a bird, in the wind whispering through the trees: there is Truth reflecting back to us. Breathe into yourself all possibilities and lose all rigid constraints of old ideas. Breathe into yourself a new song that sings outward from the depth of your own Being. Express that uniqueness out into the world the same way a monarch butterfly dances in its joy or a baby bird emerges from its egg and declares its sound to all of creation. We have not come here to live a separate existence from all things around us but to feel our oneness with it.

When sadness and loneliness crept into my day, I would often occupy myself with Kabir's words. I wanted to wake up to the reason I was left behind here on this earth and my lover had to leave. Often times I just wanted to sleep the day away because the answers would not come. Kabir's poetry always lifted my heart. Over the years, various layers have shed themselves from the understanding of the words and have found greater depths in my Being. I wanted to sing these words, draw these words and absorb them into my days. Where was that moon and sun in me? Why do I work so hard and feel so unsuccessful at times? Why does the deer always run everywhere else to look for the musk instead of within? How do we find balance in the attachments of love and then easily let go? Day by day, month by month and year by year new insights would open the floodgates of creativity and gratitude.

And so I look into the girl in the picture. She is the pondering and contemplative child of the Universe that aches to know herself fully. All of creation shines out of her and everything around her. There is a slight smile on her lips because she is feeling the arousal of Consciousness more and more. She is well on her way. The greater world is training her to overcome the lesser world of attachment to things and circumstances. She realizes the peace and abundance are nowhere to be found in the outside existence but stream from a greater exhaustless wellspring within. It's an excruciating and ecstatic journey all at the same time. More and more the moments of joy linger into all aspects of life. A child of the sun cannot help but shine.

PS...I'll be flying out west so I will be back in a couple of weeks!!!! Love to you!!!

"The Manifestation is Already in the Vision"

2010-01-20T20:40:00.001-08:00

"We are told that talent creates its own opportunities. Yet it sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities but its own talents." - Bruce Lee

These two quotations are the subject of this digital art today. So many sources of this same message keep showing up in my day to day life lately:

First there was this woman at the park with her fourteen year old daughter who wants more than anything to become a dancer and her mother quickly added that this young girl didn't have what it takes to make it as a dancer. I smiled into the eyes of the girl and confidently told the mother that she will be a dancer if she sets her mind to it. It kind of came pouring out of me with such certainty that the three of us stood there quietly for a while.

Then later in the day while watching the movie "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" there was a part where Dan Millman's Mentor, Socrates asks Dan why he loves the rings in gymnastics and Dan tells him that he has loved it since childhood. It was the first thing he ever remembers identifying with the love of doing something. He found the love in what he loved to do. He reconnected with his desire to do the routine perfectly rather than focus on winning at the national tryouts. His legendary performance afterwards was only icing on the cake compared to the fulfilled vision of each momentary move. This is a true story about an athlete who shattered his leg so badly in a motorcycle accident, he defied all odds by competing nationally again.

In his book, Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World, my Teacher writes:

"The Secret to Success is to know your power and to know that Consciousness is the only power that creates. You are One with that power. When you have an Intention you have to let go and know that this all Power will bring all circumstances, conditions, and people to manifest your Intentions. You don't do anything: You just see it being done." - p145

Today while eating a veggie pita in a small cafe , I thought about the scene in the movie "Matrix" where the young orphan child at the Oracle's apartment teaches Neo how to bend a spoon. The youngster says:

"Do not try to bend the spoon. Instead realize the Truth...There is no spoon. It is you yourself that bends."

Then tonight, while listening to one of my favorite albums by Prosad, I review his lyrics from the "Big Bag of Rice" track:

"All my money's in my heart

My mind tells me that it's out there

I tell my mind that you are blind

Though you have a thousand eyes

What's in my heart is all I need

If you only listen to your heart

Then you'll get all the money you can see

Inside you, in your heart

What's in your heart is all you need"

By this time I take the Bruce Lee quote out of my pocket and settle down with my new mouse in hand and see what flows out of this feeling of synchronicity. I feel light. I feel the dance of the day. I feel gratitude for desire itself. Where do the songs come from? Where does the poetry and the art shower through me from? I have no idea. I only feel the desire to express what is inside.

Tonight I revel in the very idea:

"Consciousness Creates my Reality."

By the way...this new mouse is heaven...

You Slipped Through the Keyhole of Time and Space...

2010-01-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

My Dearest Narayan,

Like a child wanders off uninhibitedly, you silently left. Your breath became less and less. The rising and falling of your chest ceased. Did you feel us all singing and loving you? Did you know that we allowed no sadness into the room as you took your majestic leave? How beautifully your face shone. Like in those sacred moments of lovemaking when your life force would hurl itself through my very being, I felt the rush of blood under my skin as you left. I felt your silent cry of freedom throughout every cell of my existence. Everything was still and dancing all at the same time.

Every year on this day, I honor your memory in some special way. There is not a day that passes where you are not in my heart, but on this day...a special light shines because I know that you overcame the great mystery I still find myself in. I know that you went to a place of perfection because I felt a peace I have never known before as you left. I know it was a gift from you.

And so I type away on this computer today. I stare into the digital image that came. A DreamChild to represent our life together. That child of song and music and poetry who is suckled on our romance and the wisdom of ancient times. This child grows, my love. This child wanders as you did through the keyhole of all limitation and knows everything in Love. This child comforts me when I miss you too much and lifts my heart to those places where I know you are. This is a child of Heaven and Earth.

Sometimes I feel that I cannot bear another moment without you. Sometimes I cry for myself and judge myself for these foolish tears. I feel no strength and then...the songs come again and I know that my heart can endure anything. What is this small lifetime when we have eternity. The human life is a beautiful one, but you help me to look up and try to rise above it. I came here to find that higher love that you call me to. I close my eyes and see your face. Your perfect smiling chiseled face. I am still so in love with you.

I know you are happy. I feel it. I honor you today and the magnificent impact you still have on my life. I take no steps without you. Often I think of your beautiful feet and how I used to rub them on the harder days. Those beautiful feet I kissed as you drifted away. Those beautiful feet that wander the foot halls of Eternity.

Happy Narayan's Nirvana my Mr.Bluesky.

your "Angel Eyes"

Take me Upward into Deathless Love

2010-01-08T21:16:00.000-08:00

“Here I stand on another mountain

The view from here it stirs my soul

The journey was long and hard

And I’m not sure what I feel inside

Conquering and being conquered

A weariness that holds my mind

My knees are shaking

and the tears are rolling

and the sky is listening

Waiting for my heart to know the way

But I’m not sure and so I say:

Lead Thou me onward

Oh my Soul

Take my life upward

Oh take me Home

Beyond these mountains

and the valleys I’ve known

Oh my Soul Take me Home…

So here I stand again and singing

Another circle feels complete

I want to be more than a bird in a golden cage

opening and closing that door

A weariness that holds my mind

My knees are shaking

And the tears are rolling

and the sky is listening

waiting for my heart to know the way

but I'm not sure and so I say

Lead Thou me onward

Oh my soul

Take my life upward

Oh take me home

beyond these mountains

and the valleys I've know

Oh my Soul take me Home

To lift the weariness that holds the mind

To see each day anew

What price would be too high

to spread these wings and fly

to soar the freedom of the breeze

Lead Thou me onward oh my Soul..."

Ganga Fondan, 2009

These lyrics came last year on November 19th, which would have been Narayan’s and my 16th anniversary. This has become my theme song for 2010. New strength and wisdom guides me now and my aspirations soar through the Universe with Joy. I do not want to live in old habits and thus create a new paradigm for my life. From this mountain peak I see no higher earthly place to reach and so look way up…

The words for this post are the same ones that came pouring out of me in response to to a young man's plea earlier this evening. He wondered why he always finds himself in the same predicaments over and over. He looked frustrated and angry. After a moment of reflection I saw my own life like a movie in my mind and gave a response to this question:

Sooner or later we realize that there is a much larger picture around the small events of our individual lives. We cannot see it at the time, but these things seem to become clearer later on. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the dynamic of the moment and attach ourselves to that one event, we live very frustrated and painful lives. Sooner or later it becomes necessary to decide on a better outcome and focus on that in order to change the paradigm of our experiences. I no longer think that we have come here to change the world but to be transformed and transcend the smaller experiences of our life in order to master ourselves in any given situation.

I could see that it was difficult for this young man to hear this. His experience has shown him that life is unfair and unjust and he feels tired of fighting an uphill battle. There are so many things that I wanted to say but I could see that it was not the right time to say them. This phase of feeling the futility of action is necessary sometimes in order to feel the ache to reach higher. Who can say if life is fair? I think he needed to speak what he felt more than hearing but I know that it was important to have that conversation because I grew from it.

As I type these words and watch the curser on the screen, I think about how much has happened in my life to get me to this exact moment. Every second of it was worthwhile and important to my growth even though at the time, I couldn't see how. My Teacher says that even a willow leaf falls from a tree with purpose. I think about the words to the song above. It is time to spread my wings and leap to higher ground. There is no earthly mountain higher than the one I stand on at this very moment. I'm tired of sinking and soaring. I close my eyes and invoke a higher path. This one will take me "heartward" again.

With every new transition there is a trust and a surrender to a higher Vision. With every new endeavor there is gain and loss again. This is the sacrifice of the Phoenix as she rises over and over in deathless Love. We are the generations of her renewal. I close my eyes and spread my arms open wide...

"Lead Thou me onward Oh my Soul

Take my life upward

Oh take me Home

beyond these mountains

and the valleys I've known

Oh my Soul

Take me Home"

"My Songbird Singing Sings Her Songs"

2010-01-05T22:30:00.000-08:00

"My Songbird singing sings her song as a birth goes wrong
Her mother is tormented by what she saw
as Songbird singing sings her song
Songbird's mother helplessly screams
the scream of a dying phoenix
Three years go by
No one hears Songbird singing her song
until they meet a friendly wise man
who hears Songbird singing her song
The wise man looked into her eyes and said softly:
Songbird singing, you will sing me your song twelve years past

The wise man waits patiently
and then at fifteen years of age
he gazed into her eyes
Songbird sang out loud her song
The wise man looked into the eyes of the dead phoenix
He whispered words of wisdom God sent
with kindness and understanding
The dead phoenix at that moment started to ascend
Started to mend because she heard Songbird sing her song

Today as yesterday,
the wise man still looks into the eyes of Songbird singing
Songbird singing was once without
Now she is whole
Songbird sings mariake songs every day
all day long"

-Roger Valentine

I found this heart-wrenching poem while surfing on youtube. It was written by Roger Valentine and posted for a friend with autism. Beneath the surface of the words is a very human journey that many of us have taken and still take. Silence and suffering paralyzes us in darkest chaos. In helplessness all seems to be lost and pointless. Eventually wisdom rejuvenates us with kindness and understanding. In this light we find our voice and our uniqueness. In joy we overflow with who we are meant to be. This poem is eloquently recited by Rajesh Vedpraksh whose silk laden vocals really add emotion to this superb piece. Thank-you kindly Mukhtarze for posting this.

Also if anyone knows more about this poem or its correct written form I would really like to know more.

This digital art is how my heart was stirred in this experience.
Listen to the poem here.

Face to Face with the Inner Teacher

2010-01-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

"There was a little girl who asked God:
How will there be peace on earth
with so much anger in my own family?
How can others in the world be my brothers and sisters
when my classmates are bullies and despise those who are different?
As a young teen she asked the Christed One:
How can there possibly be only one Creator
while each religion maintains its own exclusivity
of rules and regulations for salvation?
As a young woman she asked:
How can more people find true love
when the sanctity of womanhood is forgotten
and sex is no longer considered an act of Union?
When She saw one patient after another dying
from aggressive treatment of disease,
she asked the Heavenly Father:
How can there be a cure for fatal illness
when healing is a multinational business?
She called out to Jesus
To Mother Mary
To Krishna and Ram
She called out to Buddha
And Shiva, Vishnu and Brahman
She called out to Mother Earth and Father Sky
but it wasn't until she became a widow,
that she heard One small unspoken Voice whisper:
“It is by asking that we truly love
It is by giving we receive"
It was then that she asked her final question:
What is the purpose of my life?

In that swirling vacuum a song arose
Shining and brilliant like the Sun
In that instant was a great letting go
A surrendering to the way of Love
A relief from the aching to understand
everything on the outside
A surge of unforgettable Solitude
A wellspring of purpose fulfilled:
Peace"

Ganga Fondan, 2010

Out of Art and Poetry : A New Blueprint

Staring into the artwork and reading the words, I see life in a new design:

What is it that keeps families at war with themselves? What keeps them from not forgiving and letting go of the pain of the past? I close my eyes and ask that these things may come to light for each person to be revealed and transcended.

With more peaceful families surely each child will hold a stronger foundation within him or her self to play and work together out of joy and a feeling of oneness. Innocence will be the foundations of faith and aspiration. I close my eyes and see the most powerful generation of children cooperating and building a new understanding that rises beyond our current knowledge of what it means to be a human being.

In this feeling of oneness, we readily accept the cultural, religious, educational and economic differences between us and know that we are rooted in One Love. I see the children of the world nurtured and centered in who they are and able to go where they want to go.

Rooted in One Love, mutual respect and integrity come again to the surface. We dance in a knowing that the highest form of creation still manifests itself in the womb of great imagination and possibility. We recognize this wonder reflected in the womb of woman and know that each of us emerged through that sacred temple. The feminine within each of us is the balancer and nurturer and the keeper of the great mystery. It is from this place that we see the needs of others as our own before the asking.

From deep within us flow the greatest ideals and wonders. From deep within us emerges a wellspring of joy and hope and vision. I see that disease in its simplest form, "dis-ease" finds its polar opposite and merges with ease. With ease all things are possible.

May all people who feel the anguish of an unhappy life find the courage to go to the source within themselves and see their relationships from the root cause. I close my eyes see this beautiful world growing and discovering itself more and more. I see that out of a poem is revealed a life work and out of a picture a new paradigm seed bursts open.

My Teacher says:

"Laced in every well formulated question is the answer revealed." - Tulshi Sen

Love and Music Electric Ignite 2010...

2010-01-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

I waited until noon before opening the case. The first day of the year had to be celebrated in an auspicious way and now was the time to begin. I had borrowed back the Fender amplifier from a friend and tenderly pulled Narayan's beloved “Squier Stratocater” out of its case. I stared back at my acoustic guitar and smiled. Although the acoustic had also been his and though I know he loved me, the Stratocaster was his true baby. He had taken her apart and meticulously rebuilt her. The smooth electric sound had permeated our years together. When Narayan passed on I was not attached to playing this guitar at all. There was something in its sound that made me frustrated and sad. I kept her close knowing that someday I would know what to do with her. Now somehow on this first day of the New Year, I felt the desire to feel the electric waves again. Plugging in the guitar and turning on the amp made a familiar “Ping” sound and I felt excited to start. It all felt so effortless. My fingers poured over the strings and my heart began to soar. Song after song, I could feel us together, while the six strings felt like waves of water. We danced in our love of music. I played the strings so gently and the smoothness of the sound put me in a trance. Oh how Narayan loved to play. He was the one who first really encouraged me to sing. He was the one who inspired me to create music in the name of Joy and Upliftment. And so for many hours of the first day of the year, I celebrated this music from the heart. I celebrated a most amazing man and I celebrated myself knowing that this year will unravel in all majesty and beauty filled with more awareness of Love and Oneness than I have ever known. This digital art is to honor and remember the wonder of Narayan and his continuous powerful presence in my life.

While writing this post today, i realize that Narayan was actually inclined to play left handed as a young boy. His mother had a guitar and one day he decided to take all the strings off and reverse them so it would be easier for him to manoever his fingers. She insisted that he put the string "the right way" again and so he learned to play right handed. Now the interesting thing about this is that we often wondered if his playing would have been different and should one actually be discouraged from playing the way that "feels" right. After all these years I feel so grateful that he did play right handed because being able to play his guitars after he left this world means everything to me. His heart still vibrates in the strings. Today I even thought that there must still be sweat somehow on the strings. Is that crazy? Love just does not make sense at all. Narayan is still with me every day and today I felt a little closer to his love in this electric sound.

I want to remember this day as a beginning, commemorate it and keep the momentum going this whole year. Narayan was one of the most courageous people I have ever met. His legacy in my heart lives on. I remember the love song he wrote for me on his stratocaster years ago:

"We belong together

Time for you and me

Sail the seas forever

Two as One but free..."

I still love you so much Narayan. You still make my life so beautiful. I feel so grateful for that.

"Give Me a Place to Stand and I will Move the World" -Archimedes

2009-12-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

There’s place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen

There’s a song I sing
It beckons me day by day
To just let go
It carries me far away

Where the wind blows free
Across mountains high
If you stretch yourself
You breathe in the sky

There’s a feeling I know
From deep within
This well does spring
And wherever I go
This love shines on everything

No hatred greed or jealously
No pride
No death
In this place you are free

There’s a place I know
The most beautiful I’ve ever been
Where the flowers bloom
The most beautiful I’ve ever seen

Ganga Fondan, 1998

This song literally lifted my life after Narayan left. I couldn’t understand why I was destined to love a man so much only to lose him after a few short years. What was all of this love in my heart supposed to do now? It’s taken me years to realize that the Love is not inside of us but flows through us. This song is an answer from the Universe to guide me to feel and explore my connection to Love itself. We are always immersed in That and cannot be separated. Of course the battle with the mind says otherwise. Many times the mind insists to dwell in the pain of loss and defeat. It urges us to become cynical and settle for scraps of happiness because it only knows reality to be something in its memory bank. Under the guidance of a great Teacher who ever reminds us how the mind tricks and cajoles, his tools for “thinking the thoughts you want to think” keep me standing tall and poised in my greater Vision . The songs keep coming and my heart keeps opening.

When I fell in love with Narayan, I knew in my very blood and bones that our connection was beyond any I had ever felt in my life. His eyes, his words, his voice, his mannerisms all felt so strangely familliar. He always seemed to know how to challenge me, how to show his affection, how to include me in his thoughts and feelings. He was very much his own man even through all the chaotic treatments he endured in the medical system over the years. His very presence would always send soft chills up and down my spine. I believe that through him the Universe opened my heart so profoundly wide and infinitely, it felt so natural to know that I would love this soul mate for now and all eternity. We had "4E U Me" (for eternity you and me) engraved in our wedding rings. As the possibility of his leaving this earth grew, we had to let go of everything that was trivial and trust Love itself.

The excruciating pain lingers when we know that our loved one will never walk through the front door again, cuddle us in our bed or sing love ballads in an evening of candlelight and romance. Finding no solace in the songs on the radio which sounded shallow and contractual, the music within me came to answer the ache. I could not find peace in anything other than meditation and singing. The meditational tools that my Teacher gave me calmed my mind into believing that higher laws in the Universe are still holding my love and honoring it. Songs like "There's A Place I Know" lifted me through days, weeks, months and years of searching. Over time, my heart sang this song at weddings, celebrations of life and also funerals. This song addresses the ache we feel to know our relationship with love itself and to Vision the perfection of that unity. During times when I thought I was going to go mad with grief, I was reminded of these words from my Teacher in "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World":

"Mahavakyam Meditation will be like peeling away layer after layer of an onion. While you are peeling the onion, your eyes will water. When all the layers are peeled away, you will find your true Self at the Center and you will realize the No-Thing out of which the whole Universe has emerged. Then you too can say, "I and the Universe are One," "I AM That I Am," "I am the Cause and the substance"."(P 105)

Ten years ago, while sitting on the livingroom floor with Narayan's guitar in my lap, I would have not been able to relate to the above quote. I did not realize that what my heart most wanted to feel was the reconnection with That which Love is. I only knew this feeling was flooding my being and I didn't have a clue of what to do with it. My heart ached to find a purpose for it. I didn't know where to pour that wealth. I didn't know what I could possibly want in my life if it was to be without the man I love. How can I even explain the profound effect that meditation has on grief? I have no words. Only in the singing journey of gratitude and aspirations are embedded the blueprints of this profound transformation.

Now I stand ready in that Vision of Love. This next phase of my journey will surely be filled with challenges and obstacles again. In the song garden of my highest dreams everything is already accomplished. To rise above the crude navigation of the mind's senses and allow Consciousness to unfold the design of my life remains my focus. As my Teacher quoted the famous Visionary Archimedes in his last Webinar, I feel compelled to continue exploring the wonders of the inner Self and bring these treasures forth. Imagine the possibilities if we each could imbibe the words of Archimedes:

"Give me a place to stand and I will move the world."

That place is within each of us if we only look for it.

**********
Next no charge webinar with Tulshi Sen:
Topic:
"What is the single biggest obstacle that prevents people from achieving success?"
Date: Thursday, December 3
Click here
**********

"Made in the Likeness and Image of..."

2009-11-29T19:46:00.000-08:00

She ever suffers and is kind
There’s never evil nor envy on Her Mind
She never needs to see the proof
Yet She rejoices in the Truth
She bears all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
And ever believes
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth

Though I speak with the tongues of men
And of angels
And have not Love
I am nothing
Though I have the gift of prophecy
And understand all mysteries
And all knowledge
Though I have all faith
So I can remove mountains
And have not Love
I am nothing

O I know one day we will meet face to face
Within that ocean of Her Grace
My Heart will say:
“I AM the Way
Love never faileth
Love never faileth
Love never faileth.”

Adapted from 1 Corinthians:13
Ganga Fondan, 2009

Every time I get exhausted and want to give up, this passage from the bible always guides my heart. To trust and surrender to Love and to know that She can never fail is the Light that moves my whole life onward. She waits silently and lifts me through the hardest moments. She urges me to recognize myself in her Light. I cannot yet see the butterfly wings opening but I feel a subtle shift each day. She whispers and holds me and tells me that I Am a progeny of Love and that Love can never fail.

I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one winter morning a few years ago. It was one of those gray days that promised a snowstorm but if you used your imagination, you could see the sky as silver. Staring at the odd asemblage of items around me in my bachelor apartment, my hands started to strum a few basic chords on "Antara" (name of guitar). I felt like I needed somebody to hold me and tell me that my life would somehow be great again and that this too would pass. In times like this, my eye usually catches a book of poetry or scripture to lift the mood and on this day, it was the bible. 1 Corinthians 13 is always bookmarked so I happened to open it there. A conversation with Narayan came back into my head. We had agreed that no matter what ever happened, we would let the power of love guide us and we would trust this power to take us to the highest place we could be. We both believed that Love would never let us down. It felt comforting to bathe in this memory. My hand traced over the words on the page of the bible. My Teacher had taught me not to just study things verbatum but to try and sense what the poet or author was trying to convey. I closed my eyes and contemplated what those words meant for me now and here. I wanted to love like this. What would a person be like if they truly lived the words of 1 Corinthians 13? The lyrics kind of poured out and my ideal took shape. Over the years, this song takes on more meaning. It guides me in character building and staying patient and kind.

I do advise you to read this original Corinthians passage for yourself. You can google it. See what it says to you. For years I had listened to religious leaders and school professors tell me what they thought things were all about. I soon realized that even doctors and politicians and CEO's of big companies all have opinions and favored research sources but still we must discern for ourselves what the heart within us believes and desires to accomplish. We must each find our own way through the tidal waves of information and images. Accessing the meaning of our own lives through our own direct experiences of thoughts and feelings is vital if we are to achieve peaceful and powerful lives. If we are to pass on this legacy to our children.

A great example of this is to go to a local bookstore and see how many books there are about love. In the self-help section, relationship, psychology, religion and even science section there are books about what people have discovered. In the arts, biography, philosphy and fiction sections are hundreds of books about love. In history, political science and new age are great and inspiring books about love. In children's books, cook books, health books and travel books there are romantic themes and definitions about love. All these books are poured forth from the creativity of man...from the glorious realm of his or her connection to ideas. Still they do not teach us how to love. They teach us about love.

Not until we desire to know love for ourselves do we begin to write our own songs, discover our own epic and thrive in Love's presence. Not until we are fully immersed in its waters, do we begin to realize just what is possible knowing that if we but follow it, our lives can never be meaningless. Writing songs makes it easier for me to maintain the clarity of intention and stay in the feeling of what my direct experience is revealing. Always, the music and lyrics sustain the momentum to move forward and explore new feelings and desires and to express them into art and continue to be guided by this. When the inner space is ready and cries out for experience, then the tools of the Teacher, the books and the seminars become more valuable and can help us to become more powerful.

That is exactly how love has presented herself in my life many times over. As a Soulmate, as a Song, as a Teacher, as a musical Instrument and as a Friend. Whatever form She takes, She can never fail me. She endures and bears everything and hopes all things, teaching me to Vision and become One with Her and master my world.

"The Answer's in the Motion of Love Inside..."

2009-11-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

“So many roads to travel
Which one is for me
Where can I find answers
When will these eyes see
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Questions ever endless
Though the truth be only one
Everything is finished
But we’ve only just begun
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Flow on, flow on , flow on….

Rushing to the ocean
Drifting out to sea
The answer’s in the motion
Of the Love inside of me
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on river
Flow on

Flow on, flow on, flow on….”

Ganga Fondan 1997

Today’s digital meditation explores :

“You will know how to think from the depths of your Consciousness by realizing how the Universe thinks. You will know how to act, freed from the mind’s dictates of limitations, by realizing how the Universe Acts. When you speak, you will speak from the core of your Being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe.” – Tulshi Sen, “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World”

Back in 1997, I had a few days off from the airlines and went to visit a friend. She had an extra guitar that I used to play around with. On this day, she was pre-occupied with something on her computer so I went to her backyard and sat on the warm soft grass. It was one of those days where the blue sky just welcomes you in and the occasional soft puffy cloud invites you to dream. Lying on my back, I thought of Narayan and his upcoming hip replacement. It didn't seem fair that his life was filled with medical procedures year in and year out. (I let the soft breeze caress my body.) Though I was certain that all would be well, I couldn't help but release some tears and anxiety to that gentle day. Sometimes I just didn't know what to do or think or decide anymore. At that time, I already felt considerable strength from what I was learning from my Teacher but it took a while for this to soak in to my belief level. The very idea that my life's answers would come from inside of me felt daunting especially at a time when I did not know from one day to the next what my husband's health would be like. I never felt more helpless in my life. I reached for the guitar lying beside me and sat up. My fingers softly strummed the strings. I looked up at the sky and began to hum. A feeling rose from inside and the words "flow on river" kept coming. I sang these three words over and over. It felt so beautiful to sing and articulate each syllable. Between humming and singing, I remember thinking "where is this feeling taking me?", and very shortly thereafter came the rest of the lyrics and melody. I must have sang that song all day. My friend eventually brought her guitar out into the backyard and we sang together until we just fell into the grass exhausted and happy.

Later, in Narayan's arms I felt rejuvinated and peaceful. I looked at my warrior husband and knew that everything would be alright. I felt empowered and ready for whatever would come next.

Now I look back at that time. So many songs came to lift me through every step of that journey. Faithfully, I followed the exercises that my Teacher suggested. The storm of my outward life carried on around me, but each time fear would overwhlelm me, my Teacher's words kept me in the moment and in love with my husband. That practice has long sustained me after Narayan left and I had to vision a new life for myself without him. This year on the 19th of November would have been my 16th wedding anniversay with him. I'm still a woman in love. Our love continues to spead to so many others who are having such a hard time in the storms of their life. Our story is still alive and useful. It still inspires countless works of art. I see it transform people around me in my day to day world. I continuously aspire to be an instrument that passes on what I have been so generously given. The truth is inside of each of us. Phenomenal Self-revelation happens when we see ourselves as distributors of the Universal flow. I needed tools to help me. Not my education, parents, religious training, healthcare system, work experience could show me how to let go of my dependence on the external events of my life to show me what my true realm of choice is. The "Four Proclamations" meditations alone have guided me to increased access to the limitless resources within me. The Visioning techniques and tools have opened my eyes to a much larger understanding of living a powerful life. Only through this knowing am I truly free to decide what I want to think.

Every single piece of art and every song and every poem continue to guide me forward now. Laced into the outpourings is the Universal purpose of my life. I still have a long way to go, but my Life Vision sings and sustains me from the inside over and over. I repeatedly embrace the truth of the quote above...

"...you will speak from the core of your being and your voice will carry the power of the Universe."

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Listen to my Teacher's life-transforming talks. Click here.
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Soak in Splashes of Sound and Silence

2009-11-16T14:52:00.000-08:00

“This song is for you my Heart
Ever patient and honest
Though I have not always been true
Outward and away
Lured by the whims of the day
Full of such beautiful… beautiful things
And endless activities

Oh it’s so often that I stray
Like a little child lost in play
But every time I call for you…

Then you always bring me Home again
Where your love ever dances
In endless waves that roll like thunder
Into the silence

This song is for you my Heart
Filled with the music of Heaven
Let me fall at your feet
And give up everything
Just to sing for You
Just to sing with You”

Ganga Fondan, 2003

This song came in a time of gratitude and reaching. All the material things seemed to come easily and effortlessly but the inner growth was aching for more attention. My heart was craving for something I couldn’t quite identify. Lately I’ve pulled out this song again only to realize its revitalizing effect on my mind. I feel a jolt of growth, possibility and innovation on my digital canvas today.

My life is like this profound symphony of color and sound swirling in and around me. Something catches my eye or my attention and the urge to examine it and enjoy it overcomes me. It might be a song, a meal, a painting, a conversation or anything that holds me for a time. Whenever the heart is not involved, I miss the taste of my meal, the insight of the painting, the passion behind the song or the connection in the conversation. I may not notice at first and rush headlong into the next distraction that lures me in but eventually, I ache for something I have forgotten and take time to refocus. The heart never skips a beat at the opportunity to lift my life again. Never. Even through the most harrowing experiences, it always opens doors to greater strength and hope. So much so that it became the Great Heart in all my songs.

This process of rejoining with the Heart was made easier with the meditations on the Four Proclamations as outlined by Tulshi Sen in his book "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World". These ancient pillars of wisdom have allowed me to step into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Heart. As a result of this relationship, I have learned to listen to life and to observe in a way beyond the five senses. In this observation, songs awaken from the depth of my being. The Heart is the greatest storyteller and will reveal things about yourself that no one could tell you. In that intensity of self-realization, a more profound connection with everything and everyone takes shape. Eventually we realize that even breathing is proclaiming oneness with life. We celebrate our true intimacy:

"...Just like the baby in the mother's womb is One with the mother and is never concerned with substance. You will realize your umbilial cord with Universal Consciousness never was and never can be severed. Then you will know that Consciousness is your total supply and your substance." (P. 106)

It is in the spirit of that statement that this song comes to life. It reveres the enduring Heart knowing that It will never fail me. I realized over the years that my lack of trust in the Heart weakened my capacity to vision powerful outcomes for my life. Now in vigilence, my concentration of my dreams is increased and I have more control over the throughts I want to hold.

And so in this splashing of sound and silence, I seek to create more and more of a balance: That my heart may be open to the romance of life while the senses enjoy themselves. Today's digital painting is this reminder. The black parts of he picture are my silence and pause (Individualized Consciousness centred) while the colors are the senses ecstatically exploring the gifts of an abundant Universe under the realm of Universal Consciousness.

Here is to all of our freedom and rapture in life.

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Reminder:
Tune in to Wednesday's Webinar with Tulshi Sen:
"Vaccination against Negative Thoughts"

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Her Declaration of Independance

2009-11-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

“She gets up unusually early this morning
Sits on the veranda and sips ginger tea
Takes a long hot shower and takes time to choose her outfit
Dresses slowly and deliberately
Attends to every detail of her makeup
Stands poised at the doorway and collects herself
Walks with assurance and ease up the boulevard
Smiles at the people passing by and feels invigorated
With each step there is a lightening up
With each breath there is a sense of ease
Up and up she moves into the experience
Her thoughts are clear and centered
Suddenly in a moment of tremendous shifting
Her pinball life rolls in ready to strike her down
But this time she stands silently
Calmly refocuses her view
Salutes the six-sided day
Reframes the world into the shape of her Beloved

Creation cannot roll over such a powerful woman
It offers everything wholeheartedly to this new design
Every sweet desire is expressed and fulfilled
While she breathes in the ecstasy of this romance
She celebrates the first day of her freedom
She celebrates her release from the clutches of conditions
She takes her place among the architects of the world”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

What would I do for love? Love of my ideal life? This is the motivating question burning in me after this last Wednesday’s invigorating and “wisdom-soaked” web seminar with Tulshi Sen. In the visioning process itself, we cannot try and find the ways to fulfill our dreams. We must be able to feel them, interact with them as though we are already alive in them. We must know they are already a done deal. If we are seeing the ideal life and worried about how we will attain it, then we are still struggling through a painful “to-do” list. The last step in trusting your vision is already accomplished is to stand poised and be willing to challenge that “rolling over” mentioned in the poem. It is the final stand and sacrifice we make for what we believe in. All the greatest heroes who embrace(d) an ideal and face(d) whatever comes in the name of a dream know that final step of self-dedication.

Since Wednesday night I have been able to think of little else than the word "freedom". Many years ago, I packed up my little blue Pony and left the west to find my dreams and live in the freedom of accomplishing them. I could not think like those around me and desired to find what it was I wanted to dream about. All I wanted to do was get away from there and move to another place. Then eventually in that other place, my insecurities caught up with me and I found new ways to run away. I lost myself among friends, suffocated any pain in "mind numbing recreation" and still thought I was living a free life. When circumstances would bowl me over and run me down, I never knew how to face that which limited my freedom. I had no strength and no tools to challenge my suffocator and began to realize that I had no skills to break out of this dilemma.

That is where what I have learned from my Teacher has made all the difference. Over the years, by learning visioning and meditation techniques, I was introduced to the most gruesome taskmaster and slave driver known to man, his own mind. With repeated effort, I began to recognize all the behaviors and voices of judgement from my past. I had been shaped and formed in a world that told me who I was. For the cheap price of someone's love and approval, I would often turn myself inside out and deny my deepest feelings. How many thousands of ways my mind has tricked me into seeing the smallest version of myself. But why? What is the payoff for the mind? Wouldn't the mind benefit if I became a much enhanced version of life? Ahhhhh, it is then I discover for myself over and over that the mind cannot take me there. It is like a processor and can only be a tool to measure and mete out life's grander ideals. Where do these grander ideals come from? I've been paying homage to the computer instead the intelligence that runs the computer.

The intelligence beyond the mind calls to me to design a larger version of my life. Why not trust something greater than my own ability to rationalize and philospohpize the meaning of my existence? "Logic and Love do not mix" reverberated throughout the entire call. My mind buzzed with excitement. The call took us on a journey from the inner intensity of poets to the sacrifice and passion of freedom fighters. From Keats: My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains/My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk"... to the visionary heroes who signed the American "Declaration of Independence". For the love of another being, the love of a nation, the love of an ideal, the intelligence beyond the mind calls upon all mankind to wake up and declare our own independence from the self-preserving mind and to dream of a life we really want to experience.

This week's webinar was a calling out to feel the romance of life. Those who build magnificent empires accomplish the dream first and then use their mind to expedite the details. They risk their lives for the love of an ideal that calls to them to challenge their current circumstances. This madness of trust made me fall in love with a man who had just come out of remission and love for love's sake alone. This madness of trust continues to carry my life to the most unexpected places while I stay poised in the dream and direction of my heart. In this exhilerating process, I repeatedly pay homage to my Teacher and his tireless capacity to vision a world where people are free to think the thoughts they really want to think and not the thoughts they are forced to think by their environment.

"We Cannot Vision More Than We Are" - Tulshi Sen

2009-11-07T15:16:00.001-08:00

"How would I know to seek a greater way of living
If I had not been misunderstood and cast out
If I didn’t have to let go of everything that mattered
To find my life and lose it all over again
If the land around me had not dried up and denied me
And emptied out my accounts
How would I know the hunger that comes
If my dream had not eluded me and faded into the shadows
Leaving me void of meaning and purpose
How would I know the thirst to know myself
If I had not fallen hard onto my knees
Too exhausted to take another step
Too ashamed to ask for help
How would I know that ache or want
Which is in itself an answer hurling itself upon the heart
Invoking there a new blossoming of sound and feeling
Erecting a new earth that shapes itself in and around my Being
How would I know this gift of Grace without the pain of desire
How otherwise would these songs of joy and courage have come"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This posting is once again inspired by my Mentor’s message. This week’s seminar with Tulshi Sen was a great reminder to look at the correlation of what I desire and how I love. Where do my desires come from: my head or my heart? He explained: “Every Vision is a product of love”. He went on to challenge us on the different aspects of love such as self-serving, co-operative or unselfish unconditional love. The way we love is our pattern of thinking and through this lens we feel what we want in life. In my own experience, this lens comes more into focus as I practice the meditations given in: “Ancient Secrets of Success for Today’s World.” I realize that what seemed so hard and impossible many times in my life were actually gateways to a deeper self-awareness and trust. Only emptied will I discover the wealth of my true heart’s desire.

This week I take a good long hard look at my life and like countless times before, re-evaluate what is important to me and what do I cling on to falsely believing it to be essential to my well being. How much the events in my life have sculpted who I am now and allowed me to build new dreams. Each time there seemed to be a coming together of details that seemed to move me forward. Sometimes a breaking apart also teaches me about myself. This wonderful journey of self-discovery goes deeper still and that feels exciting and frightening at the same time. Still I wonder why I hang on to so many old belief systems. These impede the raising of my belief level and yet I still cling on to them. I love the example of a monkey leaping from limb to limb of the trees completely trusting that he will catch the next branch. He has to let go of the first branch in order to complete the jump. I'm working on seeing myself leaping like that. Maybe a song about it will come or artwork and a poem. Mr Sen teaches that we must build ourselves from within in order to embrace the larger Visions. Meditating on the Four Proclamations has taken me to places I never thought I would go before. Recently I showed a new friend a picture of myself 14 years ago and she did not recognize me at all. She said I have a completely different face and body. I smiled at her and said that I am not that person in the picture. Monumental changes have occured in me.

A beautiful quote came up in the teleseminar this week:

"The coninuous flow of only one kind of thought to the exclusion of all other thoughts is supreme Bliss and is regularly practiced by the wise." - Pitanjali

It seems so simple an idea. When we do what we love to do it seems to make the hours fly by, put colors in our cheeks and put a smile on our face. There is so much more in all of us to find. According to the Ancient teachings, "the only action we ever do is visioning".

This seminar is so rich that I have to listen to it a few times to really let it soak in. You can too - here.

I'll leave you with this quote from the evening. The words have been hanging on a slip of paper over my desk and for some time but now I see them in a new light:

"You are what your deep driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will, so your deed.
As your deed, so is your destiny." - Upanishad Brihadaranyaka IV.4.5

Expanding in Butterfly Consciousness

2009-10-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

Caterpillar Self lived a limited existence
The world accepted her meager body
And fed her scraps of life and leaves
She marveled at the beauty of the flowers
And climbed a few just to see what else waited
She worked hard on herself
She pushed her little aching body
To the farthest reaches of her little garden
She entertained caterpillar friends
Listened to caterpillar music
Worked a caterpillar job
But silently at night she would cry
Her heart pounded in her little chest
A great cascading Dream called to her
She called back to the Dream
A feeling of flight and colors stirred
A sensation of indescribable expansion
Just when she felt she would burst in this joy
Just when she felt it was too much to hold
A miraculous event began to weave itself
Within herself
Around herself
Out of herself
For an instant she thought she saw herself as a flower
In that moment Butterfly Self laughed
And thought she remembered herself as a little worm.

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Meditation on the third proclamation:

"Individual Consciousness is the creative force. My Consciousness is the Creator. " - Tulshi Sen, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

Coming home from a local pub last night, I could not wait to start working on this post. Listening to the lively expressive sounds of the band onstage (Gibbran)I suddenly felt everyone around me as an actor or as later depicted "caterpillar". I saw an old life of mine flitting around me there in that place serving and laughing and dancing and socializing and drinking and eating. I had participated in that life for a long time while struggling all the way towards something better. I could feel the urge of the singer to sing the songs he had writen rather than the cover tunes that the audience demanded. I looked at the hightop runners of the waiter who ran his heart out for the crowd that gathered. I observed the animated faces of those sitting around me completely engrossed in their desire to let loose and connect. I remember that drunken state of animation very well. Last night something inside just wanted to sit still and observe the entire scene as a piece of myself. How can I explain this? I saw an aspect of myself in everyone there: the singer,the bartenders, the waitstaff, the men staring into the sports scenes on screens, the women readjusting their hair and clothes after a dance, the slow intense slur of those have had a bit too much of things on the menu and those which are not. It felt marvellous to witness. It felt pitiful. It felt alarming. It felt peaceful.

Something new in me stirred.
It felt alive and ready.
What now?

My Consciousness creates.
The new garden awakens and offers the nectar of endless flowers.

Ganga

Chapter 2: "I Feel a Light on My Face"

2009-10-27T18:59:00.001-07:00

"Father sky asked me to close my eyes and see
The inner landscape is endless and generous
Father sky asked me not to forget the Source of All
In his song he took me back to places I had forgotten
He showed me the pain of ages
Where we had lost ourselves in endings
We began to limit ourselves in beginnings
We lost touch with the infinite Source of All
Father sky asked me to close my eyes and see
In that seeing a feeling arose from the depths
In that heated flame a picture began to emerge
The inner landscape blossomed on every side
In that blossoming rose the children of the earth
Each child shaped and formed in the water of life
The wind breathed them to being and drew them forth
Father sky asked me to open the heart of my eyes
Open the heart of my ears
Open the heart of my skin
Open the heart of my taste
Open the heart of my smell
Open the heart of my womb
In that sweet crescendo of feeling a new dream awoke
A new child opened its mind and began to sing"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Artwork and poetry is a meditation on the following words:

"Your Consciousness is all powerful. All the power of the Universe, past, present and future, the power that created the sky, the earth, the galaxies, a grain of sand, a flower - is in you at this very moment. You don't need to go anywhere else for your building materials or the worlkforce to build your vision. You already have it. " - Tulshi Sen, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

I woke up this morning before the sun came out. I knew this day was special. I knew that the sun would not rise because it is always there flaming and beautiful in the sky. The ceremonial day was beginning. This is my renewal. This is my story. As I slowly dressed I looked out at the stars still bright in the sky. The sky just kept begging for my attention. I stopped for a coffee and bagel on the way to the shop. Sitting there staring at the dark sky, my heart felt light so I pulled out my notebook and started to write. The words came pouring out. The last few lines completely framed my day:

"This is another chance to embrace the gift that meets me on the horizon over and over. What can I do but sing? The Abundance falls like rain and all I have to do is face it, acknowledge it and rise with it each morning. The new day is loaded full of success, compassion and love."

Now it is dark again. The artwork and poetry of this post flow effortlesly from within. The sun has hidden itself again and the dark sky is capturing my thoughts. This glorious day washes over me and in its ebbing opens up new vistas and possibilities. A new courage now rises which chapter one was only preparing me for. May Grace and Gratitude stay by my side for they are the true sisters of my happiness.

Ganga

"In this Burning We Are Ever Free"

2009-10-15T14:42:00.001-07:00

“When they burned my lover’s beautiful body
I saw the great fire enfolding him into itself
A piece of me burned there in that flame
A piece of him watched with me through my eyes
Fire cleans everything so thoroughly
When the soft silky ashes ran through my hands
Into the waiting cool waters of the lake
I saw them fertilizing the soil deep below
Plants will grow there and feed the fish
Animals will eat the fish and roam around
Fecal matter will become soil again for the trees
Through great roots the water from deep will rise
And explode outwards in the morning dew
The sky will draw him upward again
My lover will be everywhere for all time
Nourishing nature again and again this body will serve
Moon and stars and suns will know him
Mountains, lakes and rivers flow through him
One day even pieces of that body will become Being again

But now that piece of me that burned with him calls to me
It aches for release and freedom
That piece of him that lives in my heart calls back:
My Love, in this burning we are only witnesses
Rise and let go of everything
We are One beyond this dance of ice and fire
Live
Claim your freedom.
Live”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This art and poetry is a meditation on yesterday's teleseminar with Tulshi Sen. To find our dreams we go through a great shift of personality and perception in order to see the greatest in ourselves. When he uttered the following words, my thoughts lifted to an indescribable quietness:

"Life is a dance of Consciousness and the mind. It is a romance only when Consciousness leads and the mind follows." - Tulshi Sen

How many times, my heart has shown me such exquisiteness in life. Inside I feel so many changes happening. Sometimes I feel the putrid decaying thoughts of fear hanging on so tightly to maintain their importance in my life. Yet here in this Fall weather I look around and release these anxieties like leaves in a blustery wind. In the artwork I see myself being guided to a new life again. There is cremation of ideas that belonged to my life once. What significance do they still have in where I want to go? Like old clothes that no longer suit my lifestye I let them go and thank them for their service. One of the greatest gifts that has come to me through the practice of the Four Proclamations is the art of listening. This tuning in to Consciousness has shown me how to write songs and draw pictures. It has shown me how to interpret these outpourings as roadmaps to my own evolution.

Unless I do have power over my thought, I can never be free. Unless I can listen to my heart, I have no desire to take this control. Only when glimpses of magnificent feelings peek through my awareness, do I suddenly recognize the priceless value of owning my thoughts and maintaining a vigilence that will not negate the wonder of a beautiful desire aching to make itself known. In yesterday's discussion, my Teacher said that just like a strand of DNA holds the coding for an entire body, so does a single powerful Vision contain the seed to our dream life. The Universe takes care of all the details.

While walking in a brisk wind earlier today, I thought about Narayan. I do not know where he is. I cannot say what he looks like or what he does. I watched his cremation and saw such amazing images passing through my mind. Beyond my unshakable love for him is a Voice that calls to me and coaxes me to look deeper into my own desires and feelings. When I feel the impulse to write a song or make a picture or write a poem, I feel alive and filled with joy. I know that life is showing me the way and opening new horizons for me to experience and feel the wonder of being alive and following my Consciousness with surrender and gratitude.

May your week shower you with brilliant insights to follow your dreams.

Ganga

"Following That One Light Blazing In Me"

2009-10-13T19:12:00.001-07:00

"I feel grateful for all I've learned
and the people to whom I turned
Now like a river flowing to the Sea
I let them all go now to their own destiny
while I follow that one Light blazing in me
I'm gonna live my own dream again

I gonna live my own dream again
I'm gonna break through these clouds of rain
Straight to that bright shining sun
In the name of the One
I stake my claim
where I live my own dream again"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

All week I've been singing this song in order to stir up some feelings of ache and desire again. When my rational mind reminds me of my losses, my songs lead me back to a place of hope, of faith and courage again. Staring at the ever giving Ocean, my heart rises once more to declare its intent. I draw strength from the words of my Teacher:

"Your Consciousness is the spark and Universal Consciousness is the blaze and they are one and the same. Constantly reflecting on the meaning of this Truth and silencing the constant chatter of the intellect brings this Truth to our realization. This is referred to as crossing over the Ocean of Consciousness."

Even though I've been meditating on the 4 Proclamations for some time now, there is always more to be fine-tuned when it comes to manifesting what I really want to experience in my life. Last week's webinar was a call for self-honesty again and I felt plagued with a feeling of resistance that I could not shake. One night a friend and I went down to the waters of Lake Ontario. It was quite late but the roar of the tides lured us towards the water. She stayed back a bit while I ran all the way to the water's edge dropping my knees into the cool moist sand. In front of me were the energizing waves rolling towards me. I saw no horizon in the blackness, only the white waves seemingly coming out of nowhere with such a force towards me. I felt high and completely captured by this sight My eyes began to tear up as I thought of how much the Universe showers over my life. I felt the words of my Teacher reminding me that our aches and longings do not come from the mind. I asked inside again and again if I may break through the resistance and feel the pulsating of my heart's dream. Like lightening flashes the waves continued to rush towards me over and over again. By now I could not stop sobbing with joy. I kept thinking: "Show me. Show me." I wanted to sit there for an eternity but knew that my friend was waiting. Looking back at the waves as we walked to the car, I reminded every cell of my body to remember that feeling vividly.

There are pockets in my life where I allow myself to get comfortable and forget that experiencing my True Being is my focus. My personality is my belief level and this is my opportunity to raise my expectations and be free from conditions. In his last webinar, my Teacher reminded us of how many paradigms mankind has had to continuously break through. We once believed that the earth was flat or that the sun travelled around the earth. By discovering a new reality, everything in our world and the way we thought about it changed. Mankind was so resistant to acknowledge the truth until scientific evidence convinced them otherwise. How brave were those that knew before the data was produced.

I feel exciting times are ahead. Join in on the webinars if you like. Just click here and sign up for the newletter for the webinar information. I guarantee that you have not heard a speaker like this before. Now is a great time to listen because he is just beginning the 4 Proclamations Cycle this week.

I am rich because of what I have learned from Mr. Sen. I see how many other lives around me have been changed as a result of using the meditational and visioning exercises he adapted from the ancients to suit our 21st century chattering mindset. The other day I met an incredible woman who says that these webinars are changing her whole life and she thanked me over and over for recommending "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" to her. I let her know about his meditation cd and she got really excited. I saw her eyes sparkle and felt the warmth of her heart. It is the greatest pleasure passing on this wisdom to others whle still learning to master the principles for myself.

The other day a beautiful idea came to my mind and I wrote in my journal:
"I understand for the first time why we have specific gifts and talents and why it is so crucial to bring out the highest expression of them. In the expression of Consciousness (Creation), we grow in awareness and celebrate our own relationship with Divinity."

And so this artwork, song lyrics and blog entry is an offering to that Divinity which ever guides me through this powerful and beautiful life. I close my eyes and feel the roaring water and its limitless generosity. I feel the words : "straight to that bright shining Sun in the Name of the One I have my claim where I live my own dream again."

Namaste,
Ganga

"All Girls are Princesses"

2009-10-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

“What makes her the most beautiful
is that her heart sees crystal clearly
Though born in simple circumstances
Her treasures are her thoughts
Filled with romance and music
Wherever she encounters life
She holds it up against the light
And sees the most amazing wonders
Without money she wears the autumn leaves
And colored feathers of birds in her hair
When her accounts overflow again
She decorates herself with gold and diamonds
When no one understands this and casts her out
She sits in the shade of the cool trees
And sing songs with nature in the moonlight
When others begin to curiously hover
She takes their hands in hers and dances
She is a daughter of Abundance itself
And pours onto the canvas of my psyche
Out of No-Thing she arises
to stir the poetry of Self-Creation”

This posting is a meditation on the following quote discussed by Tulshi Sen in his Webinar entitled: “How Do I Accomplish What is Beyond my Means?”

“That is Infinite. This is Infinite. From that Infinite arises this Infinite. This Infinite is brought forth from That Infinite and That Infinite remains Infinite.”

Isha Upanishad

I remember one night a few years ago, Narayan and I lay awake in our bedroom as a beautiful stream of moonlight poured over us. We had just come home from another seminar with our Teacher and were confronted with idea of our own "lack mentality".
Our conversation went something like this:

Ganga: The whole idea of limitlessness is overwhelming. I never really thought about it so deeply before.

Narayan: Yeah I know what you mean.

Ganga: I mean I never really ask for EVERYTHING nor do I really allow myself to think of what that everything might be.

Narayan: I think my parents had lack mentality too. Like you should be happy with what you have and not ask for too much.

Ganga: I really thought that if I take more than what I should, that I take away from others and I feel guilty. Like the sky was one round pie and the pieces were divided out and there was a test to see how much each person would take.

Narayan: (chuckles) Our world is a pie, my Princess. I get you all to myself. I love you.

Ganga: I love you forever too. Limitlessly. Limitlessly. Limitlessly.

Yesterday my Teacher challenged us again in the Webinar to go deeper into that feeling of want inside. "If we had all the means in the world what would we want?"
I was reminded of that conversation with Narayan. I've come such a long way since that night, but I still go deeper into the feeling and grow. Over time, my imagination has loosened up and I can see more than ever before. Another interesting thing said in the webinar is that "no desire ever comes from our mind", and "all desires originate in the Universe".

Just before I met Narayan, I had the feeling that I was ready to have a long term relationship and something so deep inside was aching to form a Vision of a powerful and ideal man for myself. I remember that feeling so clearly. It came from beyond reason and rose from beyond my thoughts. Lately I have wanted to feel that passionate again but I'm not exactly sure what it is yet so the songs and artwork and music bring me forward and show me a way.

If you would like to listen to a recording of last nights or others please click here and indulge yourself. Life transforming and cutting edge tools ae given to rise above your current want and dive into true desire from the heart.

Also I want to reread the suggested Chapter Six of "Ancients Secrets of Success for Today's World" entitled: The Everyday Magic of Creating From No-Thing. - The Substance of Your Personal Creative Power That Gets You What You Want

Have a truly magnificent rest of your week.

Ganga
PS Oh and BTW, did you know what the biggst fear of the mind is?
Answer: Fear of heights. It dreads upward aspirational thoughts.
(I learned that in the Webinar too.)

* - quote from "A Little Princess" movie

"I laugh when I hear the fish in the water is thirsty" - Kabir

2009-09-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

“We agreed to love in that dimension
Where neither breath nor air exists
Where everything floats upward and onward
But the gravity of devotion persists
We agreed to go through the rituals
Of what longing and pain will permit
With no clue for the waiting five senses
To revel in one bit of it
So when I feel a clutching and clinging
And a gasping for life I once knew
And it feels like we’re deep underwater
And our faces are now turning blue
I let go of the physical fighting
I let go of the urge to survive
And in the waters of imagination
Feel a wonder abundantly live
In the waters of deeper perception
That my thinking cannot guarantee
My heart soaks in courage and trusting
That my Beloved is always with me.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This post is a tribute to the 14th Century poet, Kabir who said:
"I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty."

I look forward to another call with my Teacher tonight:
"How do I figure out what I want. I know what I need to do, but tell me how I can figure out what I want."

You can join in if you would like:

Listen through the phone or register and listen online with no long distance charges.

1. Through your phone line **************************************
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Time: 7:00pm Pacific/ 10:00pm Eastern
Dial In Phone Number: 1-312-878-0222
Access Code: 479-589-816# (long distance charges do apply). **************************************
2. Listen on your computer Just register with our conferencing system(Go To Webinar) by clicking on the link below: (This system does require you to have speakersconnected to your computer). To register click this link:https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/395101579

*These Raise Your Belief Level Audio Webinars are open to anyone and everyone interested in success.

It is always inspiring and deeply moving to have an opportunity to learn from a true leader. Artwork and songs and poetry have come from deep within using the tools and methods he teaches about. He is a Master of the ancient teachings and knows the 21st century mindset and its challenges to reach out for all that life has to offer. This blog is about so many of the changes and transformations I have gone through over the past years as a direct result of practicing these methods. Courage and peace have come into my day to day experiences. Joy permeates everything I do. The wellspring of creative ideas and the thirst to embrace my world fully continues in every moment.

This posting today is my only work so I'm off to go on an adventure today. May the life of your dreams shower upon you and may you consciously be awake and in awe for every second of it.

Love always,
Ganga

Let Deepest Expectations Conquer Fear

2009-09-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

"What is this inside calling
that my outside wants to see?
Do I run from my heart’s longing
or does it run away from me?
Am I master of my thoughts
or a slave of inner whim?
Why do I always question:
What condition am I in?
Are my hopes for safe tomorrows
locked in yesterday once more
or do I feel a pang of something
I have never felt before?
Do I run away from dreaming
out of fear of what may come?
Does this suppression ever serve me
because its what I’ve always done?
Am I not more than just this body
made of flesh and blood and mind?
What could be more important
than this quest for all mankind?
What is our expectation
every moment of the day?
Will we finally turn to feel it
Or will we always run away?"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This artwork and poem is inspired by yesterday’s teleseminar given by Tulshi Sen in which he emphasized listening to the expectant and romantic heart within. By transcending the fearful and anxious mind we “arouse the dormant powers of life and consider that which was thought to be impossible.”

While playing with my digital canvas, I wondered again about the questions raised in the call. What do I expect from my life? What do I long for? Where will I be six months from now? A year from now? Ten years from now? I have to admit that sometimes I do only think about paying my bills and making sure that everything is in place for next month again. Then I have to laugh because money has always come and gone in my life. Fantastic experiences filled with affluence would flow in and there were other times when I lived on less than $10.00 a day. From basking on the beaches in the South of France to appreciating a buck and change for a Tim Hortons coffee, the tides of life give and take again. What I've learned from my Teacher is that regardless of my circumstances, my romantic heart continues to dream and desire and call forth new experiences. Will I allow myself to stagnate out of "wanting to get by"? Never. The Four Proclamations are my navigational tools to stay in tune with my Source of strength within. Centred, my life is filled with poetry, music and creative images. Out of this play of romance, my day to day living becomes richer.

When Narayan left this world, I did not know what I could expect from life. My Teacher assured me that I would know great joy again. With the "Sen Yantra System" my frozen thoughts of grief loosened and intense desire began to surface. The more I practiced these simple techniques, the more I wanted to sing in aspiration and feel the dance of the poets and visionaries of the past. Thinking the thoughts I wanted to think was made easier through the use of symbols and mantras of sound. These kept and still keep my heart open and creative. My romatic self becomes actively contagious everywhere I go. It seems my love for Narayan keeps expanding into something greater than I ever knew before.

A few days ago I visited a friend in a huge loft apartment with an enormous skylight which poured in a wealth of sunlight over a magnificent electronic keyboard and acousitc guitar. The sound carried like a dream in that place as the music poured through me immersed in wonder under that fantastic skylight. While playing, I could feel my expectation level expanding. I could feel that I wanted this kind of light and resonance in the next place I live. I could see myself playing for others in space much like this one. I could feel my happiness alive and dancing simply for the joy of the experience. Every cell tingled with delight. I played for hours on the keyboard and then picked up the guitar and sang to my heart's content.

In that romance, I could feel my desire for the space, for the sound, for the elation itself. This experience supercharged me again and reminded me to never compromise any longing that comes from deep within. As I think all these thoughts, the artwork draws me in for a closer look. I see myself in all women and all women in me. We are One. The common thread of finding romance, relationships and riches weaves through all of us. Our journey is One and yet each of us lives our own phenomenal epic if we only listen to the inner songs.

If anyone is in the Vancouver area tomorrow, I urge you to attend Tulshi Sen's one day seminar on the "Sen Yantra System". Turn and feel your own expectation and live a romantic and prosperous life.

Have an awe-inspired week-end.

Ganga

Belief Blossoms in a Romantic Heart

2009-09-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

“I will turn this world around and upside down for you
one gentle and vivid thought at a time.
No barricades can hold me back
because there is no yielding in romance.
Wind and Fire may roar and burn.
Water and air may suffocate all the ages
but my desire for you shall bring me back and back
until my heart revives and thrives in the elements themselves.
All beauty and creation rise in this heightened state.
The world of our choosing opens full of grace and peace.
Every obstruction falls and fades into oneness
to reveal the wonder of another sacred and noble thought.
Like a delicate flower set adrift onto a remote and quiet stream
this thought dances outward in precious ripples
reveling with romance in a mighty and generous Sea.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

After last night's fantastic teleseminar with Tulshi Sen, "How Can I Keep from Self-Sabotaging", I realized something that found expression in the art and words of today's posting. Something that he said remained in my thoughts. He told us about sitting near a stream and seeing a willow leaf gently falling into the water and making ripples. The leaf itself was like a thought creating outward flowing waves or impressions on the water. As I looked out my window this morning and stared at all the newly built high rises and people in my view, I wondered what that soft and gentle willow leaf falling into a stream could teach me.

I see it falling in the water of my mind. The leaf is light as a feather and yet it causes ripples in the water. Like subtle thoughts of kindness and tenderness, it etches a current into the lifestream that moves even mountains. Giving someone eye contact, listening to what they say and smiling are all such seemingly small acts that open a heart or touch a soul in the instant. In my daily life, adding a silent pause before communicating a response has given me time to witness a greater connection byond the conversation. Pronouncing words sincerely and clearly has lightened many interactions which began in a state of stress. These are all examples of ripples that people generate intentionally to create a more peaceful world. Our actions are like willow leaves falling into a moving stream.

Instead of a leaf, my digital canvas calls forth a fragile pink blossom filled with the spark of a beautiful intention. It has no other ambition but to make the world more beautiful and romantic. It is set free to find its manifestation in the waters of life. The circle rings get bigger and bigger. This shape reminds me of how we create our world. In Ancient Secrets of Success, chapter 10 : Centering Yourself for Success" , my Teacher writes:

"The center is the cause of the circumference. Without the center it is impossible to have a circumference. The centre is thought and the circumference is the thing. The center generates the radius from itself to reproduce the circumference. In the same way your thought will reach out to generate, with all the power that ever was or will be in the Universe, and radiate your thought into manifestation as seen by you in the center, your Absolute, your In-Visible world."

Wouldn't it be more powerful to throw boulders into the water or mountains themselves to create tidal wave ripples that will create more powerful circumferences? Wouldn't it be more powerful to drop a whole tree into the water rather than rejoice in a single bud or leaf falling? The digital art continues to unfold while the colors and the shapes find and lose their focus. I want to know the answer.

I remember living in tidal wave thoughts. For the most part, these were fear based and founded in worry. It felt difficult to navigate the day to day activites of life. There was no peace inside. Feelings of not being good enough or being abandoned fell and crashed like great objects thrown into a river. Turbulence spread to every other aspect of my life. My actions became more and more defensive and self-preserving. Knowing that the In-Visible center of my Being creates my circumstances has helped me to make tremendous shifts in my thought world. Using the tools that my Teacher offered, opened up a new way of seeing the world. They loosened my imagination and calmed my thinking so that the creative and romantic wellsprings could be brought forth.

Singing quietly in a candlelit room at night could move mountains in my life. Silently writing new ideas into a notebook could change my interactions with countless people later in the day. The power of one picture of art could stare back at me and tell me stories about my experiences. These ripple effects were the foundations of inner transformations happening. The outer experience became more effortless and tireless. Everything became more meaingful and immediate. The Four Proclamations declare our freedom to create in this way.

Staring at the beautiful image on the computer screen, I see myself in the romance between the hand, the blossom and the water. I am all these. My heart sets another intention. That my mind may be free from the clutches of my intellect which holds me in the previous dramas of all past conditioning and continuously sabotages my feelings of unity. This liberation is a lifelong journey ever unfolding in wonder and joy. Suddenly I can feel the gift of one willow leaf falling into a trickling stream. The ripple waves have touched my heart through the imagination of my Teacher and now onward to you.

What will your own intention now release into the waters of life?

Ganga

Singing Abundance Out of No-Thing

2009-09-09T13:08:00.001-07:00

“It begins with only One Song.
We discover ourselves in That.
Within a solitary vibration emerges a blueprint of life.
Stirring the melodious heart of every cell,
this sound flows like a cool clean river
cascading playfully through us.
In this glorious awakening we experience this Song
through a spectacular crescendo of feeling.
We each find our individual voice
effortlessly and freely,
uniquely and boldly
to express over and over
the endless harmonious possibilities
of One abundant Whole Note.”

Ganga Fondan, 2009

The first time I ever heard his voice, a deep feeling of familiarity rushed through me. He strummed the guitar gently and curled his lips to meticulously pronounce the words of the song that came. His blue eyes stared into mine and his head bobbed up and down ever so slightly. I close my eyes now and still hear the beautiful resonance of his sound. Then came times we sang privately together immersed in only the sweetest world of the moment. Our union planted generous seeds for self-discovery in our unity. From that wellspring still rises such fantastic joy. From this joy, the fulfillment of art and poetry abundantly flourishes.

Falling in love, blossoming in love and letting go of attachment to form in that love opens a way to experiencing a Truth and feeling of oneness with more of life. Music was and is such a powerful form of this connection with others and with oneself. Through Narayan's encouragement, this journey through sound seemed inviting and uplifting. His approach to songs was honest and never forceful. He found his own way through them. He never tried to sing like somebody else. He tried to find his own answers in the music of others and eventually in his own creations. A profound conversation between us forever changed the way I looked at songwriting and singing.

In our second year together, my desire to write songs out of poetry started to escalate and after feverishly working on something that took weeks to finish, I sat down and started to sing him this song of unrequited love. It was about a man who would never find love because of his circumstances while the woman of his dreams entered his day to day experiences. After finishing I looked up to see Narayan's face to see if he could write some music to it. He sat quiet for a while and started to shake his head. I'll never forget his words:

"Why on earth would you even write a depressing sad song like that? The world is such a hard place to find happiness in, why would you want to discourage anyone with sadness?. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel."

It took me half a day to digest his words. I felt defensive. It took many years to be able to express deep feelings in writing and now he was criticizing me for sharing them. I looked over the words on the page. There was a lesson laced in this experience and I wanted to find it. After sitting quietly with this for a while I knew he was right. He had given me a great gift, only then I didn't realize how great.

Narayan and I had endured not only his challenges with health but had seen so many people not make it through the same rigorous treatments. Their famililies had clung to any hope that surrounded them and in the end had to let go and bravely move on with their lives. In such a small slice of life, I was surrounded with people who lived each day to find something stronger than themselves to cling to. No wonder Narayan wanted nothing to do with a sad song. Why would I put him through that? Why would I put myself through that? Suddenly it seemed so clear. Music is a tool made up of ideas and melodies. When brought forth with an intention, this tool can uplift and prolong intense feelings of hope and faith.

A few years later, we met our Teacher. He reiterated Narayan's refusal to worry or linger in painful feelings by passing onto us the ancient meditations on the Four Proclamations. Finding strength and power in the wholeness of life while seemingly impossible circumstances torment our day to day realities is possible by transcending the mind. There is no need to dwell in limitations that would keep us from joy and abundance. We can raise our belief level and accomplish the dreams once thought completely impossible. We hold this Vision through our songs. We claim our "I Am'ness" in the Universe.

In last Thursday's teleseminar, my Teacher explored the idea of choosing to see the "best case scenarios" rather than the worst. It is in this "seeing" that the blueprint is created and maintained. If you want to hear the call again, just go to his new blog.

Here is the info for tomorrow night's call:
Date: Thursday, September 10, 2009
Time: 7 PM PST (10 PM EST)
Dial In Phone Number: 1-916-233-3089
Access Code: 144-042-761#
Everyone is welcome to come and listen in.

In posting this artwork and poetry today I think about my silent pledge to Narayan to always find ways to uplift, encourage inspire and aspire. Through the use of ancient meditational and visioning tools so many self-limiting behaviors have dropped away. I see how many others around me still struggle in their worries and doubts about finding happiness. In my intention to increasingly gain control over my thinking and become a master designer of happiness, my heart aspires daily to make the journey lighter for those around me as well. We are alive and wholly connected in this grande symphony of the One glorious exquisite Note rising out of No-Thing promising us everything.

Feel it awaken and resonate in you at this very moment,

Ganga

Our Unalienable Right to Fall in Love

2009-09-05T00:09:00.001-07:00

Every time you look at me I wonder what you see.
I wonder what your heart feels when it says:
“You are so beautiful.
You are so powerful and precious.
You can have anything you truly want.
Your every desire is a promise fulfilled.”
Even after being pushed around,
disappointed, dried out and cried out
while wading knee-deep in darkness and doubt…
My Vision rises again and again
trying harder to see what you see
and to feel what you feel when you look at me.
In that reaching pulsates a great Joy
nudging me to the edge of knowing for myself
that we are One.
That we are powerful and precious…
That we can have anything we truly want…
Every desire is a promise fulfilled.
All we need to do is fall into our Belief.

Ganga Fondan 2009

This "you" in the prose above embodies everyone who loves me. A great wave of heartfelt friendships have blessed me over and over. In my eagerness to love others, I often neglected to fully receive from them. This posting today focusses on my desire to be more present with all those in my life. I want to listen more and hear the words from the heart. I want to accept a compliment or a gift without feeling like I have to reciprocate or feel worthy of the moment. Oh I've come a long way, but there is still much further to reach in fully loving my Self.

Last night's telephone call with my Teacher was fantastic. There were people from all over the United States and Canada listening in. The topic was once again about raising our belief level. He asked us many questions and invited us to embrace a much enlarged imagination in order to really try and answer them honestly. One thing that really stuck with me was the idea of being in "defense mode". Oh it can be so subtle. Someone makes a suggestion about something we can aspire to and immediately we navigate our present circumstances for the likelihood of accepting this idea. We reach for what he calls "the worst case scenario" and brace ourselves for it. Perhaps we may lose our job, our pension fund, our relationship, our house...so we better not risk taking a chance on ourselves. Then he suggested why not reach for a "best case scenario" and see ourselves larger, happier, more liberated, wealthier and having more time to relax and spend time doing the things we want to do. When we release the defense mode, our entire creativity expands and reaps greater results. We feel healthier and greatly reduce stress. The trouble is that more and more people are experiencing blocks in their their day to day thinking . With ever increasing distractions on the information highways, the busy workweek schedule and a full family life there is little time and energy left for working on thoughts we really want to think. That is why, thankfully, the Ancient Masters have spent their lives considering these challenges and devising ways to lighten the load of day to day living. The "Sen Yantra System" with its roots in these timeless teachings is now being introduced in Vancouver this month. I know that existing students and new ones will be so enriched by this Wisdom. I have used various components of this practice for years and it has made all the difference in my life.

Ten years ago I would have never posted a blog. I would have been much too shy. I would never have attempted to paint and draw and dive into digital artwork because I thought that was a world that belonged to people with talent and training. I would never have attemped to pick up a guitar to answer the call of my heart to write songs of longing and aspiration. I would never have known the ecstasy of hours of fantastic release and discovery. I knew then that my heart ached to create but I felt blocked. I had felt that way ever since I could remember. Every tool, every saying, every teaching that my Teacher offered, I dove wholeheartedly into so that the pain inside me would be released and I could start to live the way I choose. Layers of resistance and judgement were peeled away during those years. So much conditioning from the past had no more place in my thoughts. The more heaviness that fell away, the more came the hunger to express and explore the inner self. Images rose out of the songs and again out of the images more stories. Books could have never taught me this about myself. This had to be activated through direct experience.

During the call, the gauntlet fell again challenging me to greater heights in my thinking. What will I do with all of this? After spending some considerable time in defense mode, my daily journaling helped me open up and to crystalize new and greater thoughts. I will not fail in this quest to master my life. Two years ago, the picture in today's posting came together. I thought it was awful but I kept it. It was very difficult to look at pictures of myself. Working with images of other people first helped me to break down many resistances. Finally, with detachment I can now play with images of myself and have fun with them. I think lifetimes of self-criticism are now obliterated.

And so I return to what I started blogging about today. So many beautiful people have come and gone in my life. Sometimes they were just there for a few moments and we exchanged something wonderful. Sometimes they stayed in my life for years and always supported me during times of weakness and strength. Sometimes they live far away and we hardly connect, but there is this unending feeling of love between us. Narayan's love is always in my heart and my unending reverence for my profound Teacher ever lifts my life. By seeing in myself what they see, I fall in love with myself and the beautiful consequence is that my belief level skyrockets.

Here's to raising our belief level and creating a world of joy, peace and freedom.

Ganga

I Am a Center of Glorious Unlimited Expression

2009-09-03T12:16:00.001-07:00

"To realize the Truth:
It was always with me
though It was hidden.
Out of ignorance
I gave away control
over my thinking.
Now in this moment:
All the Power that ever was
or will be
flows alive through my beating heart.
All color...
All sound...
All feeling...
pour through from One Source.
Beauty awakens Imagination
onto the canvas of my life.
Everything is fluid.
Everything is exhuberant.
Everything swirls in and around me.
I choose this blossoming in Consciousness
and let go in rapture."

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Today's posting is based on chapters 10 - 13 of "Ancient Secret's of Success for today's World" by Tulshi Sen. To go deeper into the knowingness of where I come from and what exactly I was designed for requires some self-inquiry. Do I want to stay ordinary? How am I the designer of my destiny? When I close my eyes and see that "life is feeling", how do I integrate that knowing with expressing my highest self? Digital art takes me beyond the intellect and lets me play with the questions.

How does the old and limited world suddenly pass away? The author says that "intellectual wrangling" with these questions is futile. The obstacles to our thinking cannot be overcome by the mind. The security of the mind is not in the mind. It is in Consciousness. Yesterday a new friend sent me an amazing link to "TED Talks" to Dr.Jill Bolte Taylor and her experience with a massive brain hemorrhage in the left hemisphere of the brain. I had perused through her book "My Stroke of Insight" but hadn't really taken the time to read it. Watching Dr. Taylor gave me goosebumps on top of my goosebumps.

Here is a woman who spends her whole life as a scientist studying the brain. She is motivated by her brother's ordeal with mental illness and wants to undertake finding a cure. One day she suffers a massive stroke in her analytical brain and recalls for the audience what she went through during her seizure. I watch this woman explain what it feels like to have both sides of her brain guide her thoughts at different times. The awe and wonder of the right side experience gives her feelings of oneness with everything, interconnectedness with all energy and an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility. Then reeling back into the left hemisphere, she is aware of needing help and reaching out. Back and forth these experiences flash through her. Eventually the stroke incapacitates her language functions and motor skills and it takes her 8 long years to recover and feel ready to function in the world again. She tells the audience that while she rode in the ambulance during her seizure, she had a choice to either leave her body and stay in the peace or come back and tell others about her experience. At this point she is emotional and overcome by what she went through and still goes through. I am in awe of her courage and her stamina to repeat this story to help uplift mankind.

Her experience also touches me for other reasons. In the last two weeks of his life, Narayan suffered 3 massive seizures. They were terrifyng to witness because he felt so out of control. Each stroke would leave him more paralyzed and eventually in a coma. It was frightening to watch him forget who he was and where he was. Not for one moment did I sense that he was in darkness though. A light oozed out of him and all that came in contact with him. Occaisonally he would say a word out loud or make a gesture that would spread warmth and smiles throughout the room. One doctor, particularily noted for his lack of tact and personal charm came to his bedside to let us know that there was not much more the hospital could do. Narayan somehow reached and held this doctor's hand. As the doctor continued to speak I saw his face become red. I listened to the softening of his words and to the loving way he spoke about Narayan. I remember the tears welling in my eyes knowing that some power of majesty and unity was working through my beautiful man. Dr. Taylor spoke about feeling so limitless in her size that she wondered how in her enormity, she could ever fit back into her physical body. I wonder if Narayan was watching us from outside of his body as well? She said that she felt like she could touch every point in space. Maybe Narayan felt that too.

We are such complex beings. We focus so much on our ability to be intelligent and outwardly successful in everything we take on. Both Dr. Taylor's and Narayan's experiences urge my quest onward to know myself and my capacity to live a powerful and more balanced life. The Ancients who mastered themselves left timeless tools for us to overcome our own self limitations. These priceless practices transformed ordinary men and women into giants of their age. Narayan and I in his final year had practiced meditating and visioning while preparing ourselves for what would come. In us arose a deeper sense of peace and calmness. I was able to let go and give him space while he made peace with those he still had issues. He started a business and constantly found new and wonderful ways to appreciate me and how I loved him. Our romance expanded throughout our most challenging times.

Hear tonight once again, the Teacher who guided us and continues to guide me in the ways of conquering the Self and living a designers life. In this 3rd no-charge teleclass, he continues his subject of "Raising our Belief Level with the Master Key for Success".

Date: Thursday, September 3, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300
Conference Code: 302937

If you missed the last two calls, you can listen here.

On days like these I feel like I've just barely experienced the tip of the iceberg of my being. The funny thing is that the iceberg is all a part of the watery Ocean. It's a matter of this body melting and of letting go. It's a matter of holding the Vision of the Ocean until I Am completely One with It.

Sending you Ocean waves of happiness for your journey,
Ganga

Ps Thanks so much for the link, Kami.

Great Sacred Dance of the Fool

2009-08-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

The Sacred Dance of the Fool

There is only One Beloved
In the wholeness of everything I Am
My fool heart dances in that knowing
My fool heart dances in that knowing

And my life becomes alive and animated
in a storm that rages all around
In Him there is no sound
In Him there is no sound

Then the world attempts to give me safety
To lean on crutches made of something
In Him there is a grander Nothing
In Him there is a grander Nothing

All around me are the lure of treasures
Made of earth in sweet decay
In Him there is a new sun rising
In Him there is a new sun rising

I play the game of hide and seek
Bury my head and come up for air
In Him I know He’s always there
In Him I know He’s always there

And how far away my dances take me
Until weary boned I feel alone
In Him I know that I Am Home
In Him I know that I Am Home

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Jotting down the beginnings of a poem in a coffee shop today I think about how we get so caught up in our chosen dramas until life gives us a little shake and reminds us that we are shooting a great movie here and will be asked to leave the stage at some point. The Great Beloved Creator draws all things back to One.

Reviewing the inventory of choices that have been on my plate lately I still marvel at how many times I get caught up in the heated dance of the external circumstances. In Chapter 10 of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", (A book of principles which my whole heart is determined to master this lifetime) my Teacher explains that by constantly looking back towards the cause which created a circumstance we find the reason. He draws a circle and shows how we tend to focus on the outline of the circle (circumstances) and forget that there is an Invisible centre that is radiating the entire circle we see. By diving into the centre of our thoughts we find the clue to changing the external circumstances around us. He writes:

"The relative must have an Absolute. Without an Absolute you cannot have a relative. There cannot be an outside without an Inside and there cannot be an Inside without an outside. We live all the time in two worlds, the Visible and the In-Visible. The visible is the effect and the In-Visible is the cause. The In-Visible is the Thought and the visible is the thing."

That sounds so simple. Just focus on the thought you want to have. Yet, how many times does the mind make decisions based on the exisitng bank account, job security, past experience and "whamooooo".... the decision to reach beyond our present physical means is rejected. The circumference keeps us trapped and we recreate our limitations over and over. I know this scenario all too well. It stares me in the face very often. I suddenly see the "great sacred dance of the fool" in this process. Reaching back to the Absolute or "Beloved" is my focus as I scribble some notes into my notebook:

"My circumstances do not make me.
My thoughts make me and my circumstances.
Where is my thought coming from?
Where is my thought coming from?
Where is my thought coming from?
Consciousness?
Cirumstances?
Consciousness?
Circumstances?"

When I was a little girl, I believed that God was this older white-haired kind of ghostly man figure that was everywhere all the time and He loved everybody. As I got older, somehow I began to believe that I had to do an awful lot to please that God so that I wouldn't be punished and sent to who knows where. I believed that He was compassionate but he also had alot of rage when He felt displeased. Over the years I realized how I had projected such human qualities into a deity. I did not realize that my perception of the Almighty was so limited and puny. Who am I to say I know That which created me? It is beyond the brain. How can the mind quantify and qualify beyond time and space and beyond every possible limitation? Yet I experience such reverence and love for That which created me and still continues to guide me in thought, word and deed.

This loving and mysterious "Limitlessness" becomes the center of my circle. The place where songs and poetry and romance come from. The mind needs training to remain vigilent and to not get lost in the circumference of life. I return to my tools of meditation and visioning again and again. I remember that every thought is a seed like an acorn already containing an oak tree. My Teacher says:

"Every thought is alive with the thing it manifests."

Looking around the coffee shop I see many dramas of life being discussed. Animated conversations of students, divorcees, grandmothers and business men create a single wave of flowing sound. This is the sound of the fool who comes here to dance and experiment, to discover and lose, to unfold and find the truth of life again. I look around me and think of Narayan. When he left this world, both his passport and driver's license remained in his sock drawer in our apartment. I would look at it and laugh sometimes because these cannot possibly explain who he was or is. Yet clearly there is a name and a date of birth and a handsome picture of a face on this earthly identification. I still haven't tossed them out because I choose to play the role of his beloved and our life here was such a part of the wonder of our togetherness. I still choose the sacred dance that knows we love each other forever.

I choose to dive deeper and deeper into myself. I want to master the principles of living a powerful and abundant life. It requires daily practice. I remind myself again and again of my Teacher's words:

"If your dream seems achievable then it is not a Vision but a to-do list".

It's ok to be a dancing fool. The Love that made me has a great sense of humor.

Ganga

All I Ever Need is in My Heart

2009-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

"Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
helpless to resist the notes I write
for I compose the music of the night

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender
turn your face away
from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light
and listen to the music of the night

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes
Let your spirit start to soar
and you’ll as you’ve never lived before

Softly, deftly,
music shall caress you
hear it, feel it, secretly possess you
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness that you know
you cannot fight -
the darkness of the music
of the night

let your mind start a journey
through a strange, new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world you knew before
Let your soul take you
where you long to be
only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me,
Savor each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night...

You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night."

- Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Music of the Night"

Listening to this song from "Phantom of the Opera" over and over last night, it felt as though my thoughts were going through a cleansing of sorts. Ever since I can remember there was always a battle going on in my mind whether it was the forces of good and evil, light and dark, angels and demons. Both my religious and scientific training always tried to caution me about going the right way, the better way and the safe way. This influenced many of my life decisions to avoid the pitfalls and to just go the opposite way. What kind of choosing is that?

While shaping new paint images on on my digital canvas, my memory brought into focus a conversation with a new friend of mine. We were talking about love. She asked me what the opposite of love was. Without missing a beat, an answer came right out of my mouth.

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

We both stood there looking at each other and smiling. I remember that silence.

Last night's teleseminar with Tulshi Sen was called: "How Can I Believe I Can Have Whatever I Can Vision?". He emphasizes again and again that our capacity to imagine is our greatest power. When we start to calculate our dreams then we are not really visioning. When we are vying for safety then we are deluding ourselves because even the richest man has no safety. What if he becomes ill or loses all his money? My Teacher reiterated that all the riches and romance comes as a consequence when we have raised out own belief capacity. He said our "intention will always equal our reliance on Consciousness". Wow. His talks always stir me on the deepest level. Later, he recited a few lines from "Music of the Night" which I felt compelled to listen to for hours after the call. Of course then my digital tools came out to experience what I was feeling.

This song had always haunted me a bit because of my understanding of the "darker side". Now for the first time, I looked at it as the "Unknown" or the "NoThing" from which everything springs forth. What if "darkest dreams" were only those which had not been uncovered yet or had light shed on them yet. I had worn my YinYang earrings during the day and thought about the symbol of the white color in the black and the black color in the white. Isn't creation simply drawing forth from the darkness into the light over and over? We get so mesmerized by what has been created, we forget to draw from the well again and again. This is a great challenge of our time. I remember Tulshi Sen had said that everything around us: the computer, the lightswitch, the guitar, the clock on the wall, the clothes I wear are "all an embodiment of human imagination". He also said that nowadays many "efforts and apirations are stunted by the height of the belief level of a person".

For me this journey is getting more exciting and fantastic all the time. Oh I fall on my face here and there and feel frustrated, but so what? Diving back and forth from "what is already" and "what has not yet been" creates a most thrilling life. My mind finds new ways to embrace and draw from the mystery of this strange new world. All I need or ever will need is already in my Heart. There is my greatest strength. What is there to fear?

"Love has no opposite. It is before the beginning and after the end of opposites."

Knowing that is true Freedom.
"Get Real" takes on a whole new meaning now.

Sending smiles across the miles,
Ganga

Came an Elephant in the Garden at Night...

2009-08-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

At first there was music…
In the darkness of the garden
Came an elephant
I know not from when or where
But he appeared one night out of the breeze
Exactly when I needed a friend in my thoughts
Giant he was with playful gait
He reached out his trunk and I held his head
I held on there releasing all my sadness
I held on there releasing everything inexpressible
And I knew he could take it
I knew he was invincible to my grief
I could not crush this mighty form
As I held on to him I saw great pictures
Of kings and rajas on his back
I saw the timeless kingdoms passing
But now was a moment just for me
I let go and ran my hands along his fine head
His skin felt thick and energy filled
Joy rushed through my body
My hands felt a wonderful pulsation
We sat in the grass together
Overlooking the majestic mountains of earth
Peace flooded my heart bringing courage once again.

Ganga Fondan, ‘09

This piece of art and prose is based on a Vision that came to me long ago. Listening to the fifth track of Tulshi Sen's "Consciousness Rising" a phenomenal piece of meditation music, a great and beautiful elephant approached and brought me strength and patience. I can never really describe the full impact of that experience but it was a poignant moment of transition and growth for me. It always amazes me what I learn about the force of imagination and its precious and necessary influence in the process of creating our lives. I never understood the significance of this faculty before.

I begin to see the value of stretching my imagination in all directions to explore my true thoughts and feelings about life. My challenge sometimes enters in when I wonder what I have to do to get what I really want. How much life will it suck out of me because my contracted mind often still feels hardwired to the fact that the bigger the dream the heavier the price tag for it. Singing and creating artwork helps me spend hours at a time concentrating in an expanded state. After hours of experiencig the creative flow, everything seems so accessible and easy again. I feel energized and trust that my heart will open doors for me again and again.

In last week's teleseminar, my teacher, Tulshi Sen talked about raising your belief level and that this cannot be done with the mind. We have to transcend the mind and reach for a higher region of of life. We must look beyond the past and see something new for ourselves. When we can feel something new, breathe it, taste it, touch it, embrace it, hear it, and know it then it is already there for us.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night's call. It is another generous freebee from the one who has helped elevate my life to heights that seemed impossible long ago. Step by step my heart moves me forward. Come and join the call:

Part 2 - You Cannot Raise Yourself Above Your Belief Level
Date: Thursday, August 27th, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300

Conference Code: 302937

(This teleseminar ia a prelude to the upcoming appearances in both Vancouver this September and and Toronto in November.)

Like the elephant experience that I expressed above, there was a phenomenal impact on my state of mind from the image that came. Where did that image come from? I cannot say. Many say that other worlds are communicating with us all the time. Others say that the power of imaginary interaction can feel real but is a psychological effect of the mind. I can't say one way or the other. All I know is that this experience helped me to release pent up feelings and receive waves of generous love throughout my whole body.

I know I want to raise my belief level even more. Someday I hope to pass on these tools for meditation and visioning in the same way I have received them. So many people around me everyday are so sick of their jobs and so tired of the day to day hassles. Many of them cannot survive a work day without coffee to keep them going during and a drink and smoke to make it through the night. They just want to be home and crash in front of the TV or computer and just forget about the day. They dread the morning already and just want to lose themselves a bit.

That used to be me. I realized there is so much more to experience. I know why we feel backed into a corner at times with no way out. No one has nurtured the greater faculties within us. Now the tools are available to do so.

The time has come to wake up. If not now, when?

Namaste,
Ganga

Come Join Me on "Imagination Street"

2009-08-25T19:15:00.001-07:00

"There's a place I can go to every day
So easy to get to and not so far away
A place of real creativity
I call it Imagination Street

I just close my eyes and flow into a dream
I walk a road with a slate that's wiped clean
I carry a palet and a color scheme
on Imagination Street

This is a new generation
All of the old rules melt away
Inside an open mind
there is beauty every day
Oh Creator within me please make sure
to keep these aspirations pure
On Imagination Street

There's a place I can go to every day
So easy to get to and not so far away
A place of peace and prosperity
Where you release my creativity
On Imagination Street
On Imagination Street
On Imagination Street..."

Ganga Fondan, 2000

I remember when this song came. Everything was starting to click and my life was beginning to experience huge bursts of fantastic joy again. My heart wanted to write song after song and at that time my Teacher, Tulshi Sen, encouraged me to open the floodgates and express everything I was feeling. I had never been able to access that kind of flow before. Grief suddenly became episodes of fantastic joy.
Tonight a digital art picture expresses this feeling to remind me of my journey again. Nowadays children's minds are so stifled with useless information that we must offer them every tool to activate their creative urges and take control of their thinking. The power of imagination is crucial to shape a powerful and beautiful future. It is a faculty every child is born with in unlimited amounts.

I remember in my own life how vividly my brother and I used to play our childhood games of "let's pretend" and we would be lost in our imagination for hours. We used to role play with costumes and accents and enemies. Our poor dog never knew what was happening. We would be running away from pirates or travelling in a spaceship to the moon or riding on the wagon train in the wild west. He would be wagging his tail and barking at the phantoms with us. The surprising truth is that we used very few toys to occupy ourselves with. The vacuum cleaner was a great motor, piles of blankets and odd shaped wood pieces our furniture.

Somehow over the years while attending school and growing up, I began to suppress that desire to activate my imagination. Those years involved alot of memory work and repetition. The odd writing assignment would excite me but somehow I lost faith in that kind of creativity as being valuable and necessary for my freedom to think in this world. It became more useful to memorize facts and listen to what the experts had to say. There was never a time when I did not listen to the radio or crave to watch television to escape a growing emptiness inside. Looking back at that time, I now believe that many of my anxieties and physical ailments were partly due to lack of creative expression.

Then, after years of searching for a way to fill the hole in my life, I met a teacher who would challenge me to use my imagination again. He would challenge me to ask myself over and over why I do the things that I do. Why do I wear the clothes that I wear? Why do I listen to the music I do? What or who do I think God is? Where did that idea come from? Why do I want to have a certain amount of income? How do I want to make my living? These questions all required tremendous stretching. Some answers eluded me while others began to open the "Aha chakra". Much of what I did and believed was taught to me by others. It was not through direct experience that these ways of seeing the world became mine. What a wake-up call.

It was very hard to change and know what was true for me. My mind would chatter on and on and I did not know what I truly deserved to feel in my heart and experience with my life. Stretching my mind and learning to trust what my heart was telling me felt excruciatingly painful at times. Meditation and chanting helped me to remain peaceful and the visioning tools helped to activate my imagination and seek out audacious new possibilites for myself. Like relearning to walk there was a lot of stumbling and falling. Over the years, all I wanted to do was write songs and keep the aspiration alive in my heart. It was the only way to really feel and hold on to what I was learning inside. Singing over and over for many years these songs made me stronger and stronger and revamped the wonder of imagination in my world. This time the imagination would help to build the life of my dreams.I get closer and closer all the time. I remember to see the destination but revel in the journey itself.

Now I begin to recognize how the 21st century information saturates our children's minds with so much excess, I wonder how they will be able to cope in an increasingly competitive world. I wonder who will stand for them and protect their right to think the thoughts that they want to think. It begins with each of us getting in touch with who we are in relationship to the whole. That is why I feel so passionate about what I have learned through direct experience. That is why I sing and blog and create this message over and over. It becomes stronger within me and others who are taking charge of their lives. We must set the example for the next generation. We must assert for ourselves the power of imagination. As my Teacher so clearly writes:

"When you have trained your mind to realize that whatever you have imagined is your reality regarless of the external conditions, then only will it accept, then only can you dwell in your Imagination and bring in the mighty focus of concentration and form your Vision." (Chapter 20: Four Steps to Visioning)

Then we can truly imagine the world we want to live in and create it. Then we will know that anything is possible. Then we will know how to guide the younger generation to the tools that will build a prosperous and wonderful future. Then we will know in our heart that nothing is impossible.

Remember to ask yourself why you do the things you do. Journal the answers and learn about yourself and who you really are. Believe me there is no journey more exciting than the one we take inward.

"When I close my eyes and I see how things will be
That image sets me free
and only then do I see
there is still so much joy inside of me
inside of me on Imagination Street."

Dare to dream the impossible.

Ganga

The Legend of Our Journey Carries On

2009-08-23T15:57:00.001-07:00

"I race across the Universe to find you
exploding every color on my way
In this blossoming of life I know I’m closer
than I was on any other given day

I sing out every note in expectation
so the stars and moon and sun will hear
and every evening is the dawning of my knowing
your essence then will always feel me crystal clear

It is not the past that ever keeps me driving forward
nor the flesh and handsome body that I knew
but the sweetness of your wonder love inside me
that keeps me strong and moving like I do

In the journey of this longing there’s a feeling
that this purpose ever leads us both as One
so I let go of always needing to define it
as the legend of our journey carries on."

Ganga Fondan, ‘09

For the longest time, I've been wondering if by loving Narayan the way I still do, I could somehow get stuck in the memory of the past and not live in the present here and now. That is why for the last few years I rarely expressed outwardly how much he is still a part of me. Other people encourage me to date men and not let my past keep me from living a complete and full life. I've been sitting with this lately. I've been wondering what to do with my emotions about him. It's been eleven years since he passed away and I can still close my eyes and feel the instant I first fell in love with him. I hear the song that was playing when we celebrated our first union. I still remember our last too. He insisted a day before his third and final hip replacement operation that we make love and how I resisted because I wanted him to save his strength. He looked into my eyes and I knew a monumental moment was happening. Afterwards he whispered into my right ear: "Never forget how much I love you." That whisper still echoes with the same intensity in this very moment. How can I ever forget?

I close my eyes and reach for my favorite book of answers. It has never failed me yet. I close my eyes and ask the question about what to do with these feelings. If it is ok to dive deeply into them as joyfully as I do? Does all this stop me from moving forward? I place the book reverently against my forehead and ask to be shown a way through this. I open my copy of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" to the following quote:

"Consciousness does not get caught up with circumstances and conditions. Consciousness easily transcends all adverse circumstances, not by changing present conditions, but by creating a new Vision." (from Chapter 8: Why Can't We Hold a Vision and Manifest the Vision)

I sit with this for a while. The digital artpiece on this blog begins to shape itself while I think. Colors and forms change over and over while I play with the controls of the computer program. Hours go by. The piece is done. Staring into the image, the poetry pours out. I only need to feel and listen. Let go. My mind reads the words over and over as I stare into the picture. How do we transcend our circumstances without changing the conditions but by creating a new Vision? Suddenly there is a feeling of standing on the edge of a cliff. I stare at the supernatural chariot that the Goddess and her attendant fly through the air with. They are not looking back but reaching forward with a knowing that their mission drives them forward. The Unknown beckons them to reach for all there is.

Narayan and I in our Oneness realized something so beautiful and timeless. It calls to me in every bird singing, in every face smiling and ocean wave rolling in. I breathe it in every morning and feel it alive when composing. It is beyond the love of man and woman. That was the foundation. I hear Narayan's voice urging me to look deeper into my heart and see complete fulfillment of my quest there. I know that what I seek will find me. I do not need to be in control. I can explore every passionate feeling of love and experience ecstasy. Narayan is not in the past. He is here with me typing these precious words into the computer. He is still whispering into my ear: "Never forget how much I love you".

The Vision unfolds every moment. I only need to feel it and see it. I do not need to know it. It is done. I'm smiling as I write these words. The world has never been able to show me what to do. My quest ever leads me onward. My heart is open and my mind is relieved. The words of St. Paul echo through my thoughts:

"And be ye not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." (Romans 12:2)

I read the words of this blog once more before posting. I suddenly remember Narayan's final moment in his body and how his breathing slowed and then stopped. In that silence there was a leaping. In that Unknown was a liberation and victory. Every person around him could feel it. There was joy permeating every cell of our being. That is the Eternity that ever moves my life and where I place my utmost and complete trust. In That we are forever One.

Namaste,
Ganga

PS I think its curious that the attendant travels with the Goddess. It is the first time that this element comes into an artpiece. I wonder if my mind is acknowledging that it is a servant of the heart?

Allow the World to Offer Itself to You

2009-08-21T21:50:00.001-07:00

"You do not need to leave your room.
Remain sitting at your table and listen.
Do not even listen, simply wait.
Be quiet, still and solitary.
The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice.
It will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Franz Kafka

With the above quote, my Teacher ended the telephone conference call yesterday. He reminded us about the value of focussing on the vision of the heart and releasing the limitations of the locked up mind. It needs the freedom to focus and bring to the forefront the desired image in order to do its part to bring it forth. Wanting to create a way to remember this lesson, I switched on the computer. Resisting sleep, my head and heart danced with the above image until 3:00am. Listening to "Consciousness Rising -Music of the Cosmos", my body fell into a deep sleep.

Today the Kafka quote echoes in my head. I watch the hustle and bustle of the Toronto streets around me. Everyone trying to rush somewhere, go somewhere, move something, buy something, attain something, avoid something. Mothers with baby strollers rush past me. There is no time to let the babies walk for themselves. I glance up at the highrises around me. There are new ones being built all the time. Moving, rennovating, building, designing, constructing, shaping... we reach out and marvel at our achievements. We try the latest fashion, food or fad. We watch the movies, know the tv shows and listen to i-pods wherever we go. Informing, stimulating, gathering, learning, analysing, comparing, measuring....

Still the Kafka quote echoes in my head.
"You do not need to leave your room..."

I open a random book in a bookstore. The sentence reads.."One in twenty-five people are clinically depressed." I put the book down and walk over to the coffee shop and spy a young woman flipping desperately through a stack of magazines. I wonder if she is looking for a particular article. She absent mindedly sips her coffee and keeps flipping. While sipping my tea slowly, my eyes wander and gaze around the room. People are talking on cellphones, chatting with others or working on something in front of them. Everyone is busy... busy-ness...buzz...buzziness....

"Remain sitting at your table and listen."

I breathe in all the way into my belly and feel it inflate.

I breathe out again.

I think about my belly-button.

What's it for now?

I was once attached to my mother's body.

"Do not even listen, simply wait."

My imagination opens and I see myself laughing and completely carefree. I see the ocean. Waves roll in and out of the horizon. I feel my toes in the warm wet sand and the occaisonal wave cools my feet. I hear the seagulls crying joyfully above me. They dive and soar with ease and grace. I see children laughing and playing on the beach.

"Be quiet still and solitary"

I think about my belly button again.

The great fourteenth century poet Kabir once once wrote:

"He who cared for you while you were yet in your mother's womb.
Shall He not care for you now that you are come forth?"

I think about Kafka's words again.

"The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.
It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

Filled with a sense of peace now, I feel my feet walking on the earth of the city. I make eye contact with some of the people passing by and many smile back at me. The warmth of the sun feels good on my face. A slight breeze blows my hair.

This freedom stays with me until the night. I feel rich. I lie down on my bed. I fold my hands behind my head, cross my legs and stare out the window. A breeze comes in through the open window and caresses my face. I feel the sounds of the night melt into one harmonious symphony. I see the endless sky so dark and beautiful. Everything whispers to me to stay perfectly still. My heart beats with elated anticipation.

Sweet dreams,
Ganga

Raise your Belief Level and Transcend the Mind

2009-08-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

"Gazing into your eyes for a brief moment I seize my freedom
Just as quickly as it comes,
the mind shuts down with feelings of pain
The pang of feeling separate invades my thoughts
Aching to touch your mind with my own
Aching to feel your heart with my own
Tears offer both cleansing and suffocation
In and around me
Desperate to return
The blossoming comes
No more a wife
No more a widow
No more a woman
The Goddess appears
She opens herself
She blooms in glory of the beginning
She forms herself into the shape of a key
And opens my heart
In awe and reverence the mind bows low
And forms within itself the Vision of Her
And She becomes the Way and the Substance
She becomes the Light and the Song
Until Joy brings Freedom effortlessly"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Today I met a beautiful woman in her seventies who like me under very similar circumstances lost her soul mate at a young age and had to rebuild her life. Unlike me she had three daughters to raise and for the last 30 years has not let go of the idea of depending on them and her husband’s shadow to find happiness. She yearns now to expand and transform this paradigm. Her mind is locked in a limited idea of what is still possible for her to experience and express in this life. I told her about the tools I discovered and use on my journey and invited her to tomorrow night’s event:

You are welcome to join 21st century business innovator and creativity expert Tulshi Sen for a live no charge teleseminar where he discusses his insights and offers cutting edge methods for unlocking the padlock of the mind and creating the life you really want to experience:

Part 1 - You Cannot Raise Yourself Above Your Belief Level
Date: Thursday, August 20th, 2009
Time: 7:00 p.m. Pacific Time (10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time)
Dial in Phone Number: 1-218-862-1300

Conference Code: 302937

This teleseminar ia a prelude to the upcoming appearances in both Vancouver this September and and Toronto in November.

I can only say that what he has taught me has literally transformed every aspect of my life. The substance of the tools he uses have been used for thousands of years. They are transformational keys that turned very ordinary people into exceptional visionaries and creatives. Having extensive experience in the self-help industry, I know firsthand what others are doing to help themselves become more in tune with their own lives. Learning to meditate and calm the daily mind chatter is explored by so many today. Journaling, painting and finding your own ways to express yourself helps as well. For some praying helps. For others chanting and singing helps. So far in all my experience, no one teacher has been able to penetrate the 21st century mindset and implement far reaching longlasting internal changes like Tulshi Sen. His methods reach the very root of ones character and challenges us on a very personal level to declare our own freedom to create and express our lives without relying on any outward assurance. He nurtures the inner assurance.

He opens up a path so individual and Universal at the same time. Therein lies a key to the Oneness of life. In that Oneness we know ourselves in such profound ways. The mundane day to day life becomes rich and awe-inspiring. This beautiful woman I met today was a gift. She reminded me of how far my life has come in these daily realizations and she reminded me of how many people still feel trapped in a definition of themselves controlled by others and their environment. Just this morning I had a conversation with a brilliant man who came to this country with higher education and has been rejected by the opportunities he sought. At some point in his life he gave up. The knowledge he has is so necessary in our world today but he does not see it and I cannot make him see. His gift to me is to continue to seek out those who like me were ready to expand and grow and see more of themselves.

I still have a long way to go on this journey. It's not a cakewalk. It takes time, honesty and commitment to being true to yourself. Nowadays we have so many distractions to tempt us away from what our heart really wants to experience. Financially, romatically and even physically we want to thrive and live abundantly. These teachings open us up to that inheritance in endless and limitless ways.

My Teacher says:

"Raise your belief level and raise the cup of your life
to the Universe and say I am going to be successful.
I am going to be rich, no matter how deep in debt I am in today.
I am going to love life and get intoxicated with life.
I will raise my cup of life everyday.
Yes, it will not be a fantasy. It will become my reality."

Cheers,
Ganga

"Do it as an Offering to Me" - Bhagavad Gita

2009-08-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

"I did not come here to be small and fit in
I came to uplift and bring to higher ground
I did not come to be burdened down
But to deliver strength from the Unknown
The Unseen
The Unheard
The Un-named
I did not come here to fill myself to the rim
But to bow and pour the abun-”dance”
I did not come to establish banners or kingdoms
I came here as a nation builder
For the great Imagination
For the Dreams aching to express
For the coming generations of children
To sing them the Unreachable Songs"

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Listening to Schubert's "Ave Maria" I think tonight of my grandmother. I blogged about ther a while back and it seems she is with me somehow encouraging me from the depth of my feelings of love for life. She was such a gifted musician and composer. Conservatory trained with a passion for opera, she possessed a romantic and gigantic whimsical spirit. She left her dream of a career in music to marry her true love and raise a family and attend to the duties of a wife and mother. She endured the war and its hardships and overcame many personal challenges with grace and strength. Physically she was half my size but when she sat at the piano her stature became enormous and her tiny fingers danced and stretched with lightness and ease. Her aging voice remained sweet and powerful and emotional.

We never saw eachother often...perhaps the equivalent of a full year. The distance between Canada and Germany was a long flight and expensive. I didn't need much time to know that she was someone who saw me and recognized the depth of expression I yearned for. My manerisms were shy and awkward and she had a gentleness about her that put me at ease. She shared with me some of her musical compostions which I repeated timidly on the piano. She remained patient and uplifting. We would watch movies together and discuss them at length afterwards. Sometimes she laughed so hard like a little girl. She encouraged me to see the romance in life, to dive deep into love in its many forms and to honor the Divine in my own way. In one of her last letters she wrote:

"Vor allem, bleibe du nur ...Du"
("Before everything..., remain true to yourself.")

I wonder what she loved about Schubert's "Ave Maria". The piano piece was her style and she loved the simple songs very much. She was not particularly religious and I do not remember having a conversation about Mary ever. Was it the idea of asking the Universal Mother for help? Was it the idea of trusting in something greater than oneself and knowing that every hardship would be lifted? Was it the theme of keeping a pure heart? I've been listening to it over and over tonight.

I feel so grateful that my mother was born in the womb of this woman who was my grandmother. My mother has been one of my best teachers because despite being different in so many ways, not being able to see eye to eye on many things, it is my mother's heart and constant desire to grow herself that always brings us back together and celebrate a true friendship. I think of her too as I listen to this song. It seems to wash all the excess trivial details away from my life and focus on what is really important. The faith and Vision of the young girl praying with crystal clarity lifts my soul to calmness.

And so this short poem arises in the pauses between the notes of an exquisite musical composition. It pours out effortlessly and honestly from the depth of my Being. I remember my Teacher describes this process in "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World":

"The Infinite is the Absolute and the Infinite is your Consciousness. Sometimes, in moments of bliss you may get a touch of Infinitude from the intoxication of Imagination: that is when your Imagination has climbed above the edge of conditions."

In moments like these I feel the purpose of what I came here for. In moments like these there is no doubt or rejection of the very idea. In moments like these there is no wondering of how everything will be accomplished. In moments like these there is only love of the Divine.

In moments like these there is only song. There is always song.

Ganga

Welcome to the Home of My Songworld

2009-08-14T21:49:00.001-07:00

"She was the single artificer of the world
In which she sang. And when she sang, the sea,
Whatever self it had, became the self
That was her song, for she was the maker. Then we,
as we beheld her striding there alone,
Knew that there never was a world for her
Except the one she sang and, singing, made."

-Wallace Stevens, "The idea of Order at Key West"

I found this quote in my shirt pocket today. It is a piece from a longer poem which hints at the idea that we create our world through the "sea" or Consciousness. At the same time I'm reading chapter six of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" written by Tulshi Sen. The chapter is entitled "The Everyday Magic of Creating from No-Thing."

One of the most difficult challenges of my life was coming to terms with possibly losing Narayan. Before I came across the "Ancient Secrets of Success" teachings, I could not foresee any joy in life if he left this world. Loving him filled my existence with a feeling of connection and romance. I felt afraid that my life would return to running away and suffocating pain, a pattern which had helped me survive earlier loss. I did not realize then that his leaving would teach me one of the greatest lessons the human heart can reach for: self-love.

It was my Teacher who assured me that I would feel great joy again. Earlier, he taught both Narayan and me how to let go of attachment in love and reach for a greater experience. Through meditations and visioning, Narayan and I began to let go and the intensity of our love expanded. He honored me in every way imaginable and I was able to let him have the space he needed to prepare for his journey. We began to trust that love itself would never lead us astray. Outside in the physical world the medical storms continued, but we remained poised and fearless. There were still moments of panic and anger, but these too did not rattle us. We relied only on the deep feelings that we had for one another and trusted that the source of these would guide us safely to a higher purpose. Even in the last sacred seconds of life in Narayan's physical body, surrounded by family and friends, this love embraced us all and permeated the room itself with joy and elation. I was ready to trust with my whole heart that Narayan's journey was a call to a higher mission.

Then came the years of singing and writing alone. Filled with the romantic songs of past visionaries and poets, dancers and sages, my heart poured out feelings in melodies of transformation and wonder. Around me the mundane world was preoccupied with the day to day trivialities while my heart soared into worlds that had no suffering and no greed. There was only beauty and joy ringing in the Universe. Singing became my refuge and place of healing and listening inside. Songwriting became a way to reach for a new state of mind and endless possibilities. Of course my life still threw giant curveballs into my days and my mind often resisted with thoughts of worry and doubt. But the songs made me stronger inside. The meditations I learned from my Teacher brought stillness and the undeniable urge to create and express everything my heart aspired to. Suddenly singing brought painting and drawing and digital artwork.

The truly amazing fact is that my training has never been in the arts. I was a frontline customer service and sales veteran with longterm stints knocking door to door, bartending and being an airline hostess. The urge to create was so intense but I had no outlet and no self-confidence. Meditation with mantras began to change these self-imposed limitations. Visioning techniques filled me with a courage and desire to let all my feelings out. All of these transformations came from No-Thing. My reliance was on my love for Narayan and my faith in 2500 year old principles. When the student was ready, the Master came.

He writes:

"The biggest stumbling block for a successful life is dependency on conditions. That is dependency on your circumstances. You say, "If I had these conditions of wealth and connections I would be able to achieve this goal." In this scenario you are making the accomplishment of your goal dependent on certain specific conditions. Or you don't have at this time all the knowledge that you need to accomplish what you want. You have become dependent not only to the substance that you want but also to your past experience."

Although Narayan was a powerful catalyst for me to embrace great love, it was Consciousness itself showing me how much love is possible. When he left, I asked the Universe to show me the higher love beyond what I had with Narayan. And so out of Nothing came self-forgiveness and letting go. Came artistic expression of joy and self-discovery. Came all those who have gathered strength from this journey of healing and song. Out of No-Thing.

Little by little, the teachings of the Ancient Masters are becoming more natural to me. It is a challenging quest to want to know yourself. There are tears and laughter at every corner. There is a song that my Teacher used to sing to us that always made me want to get up and brush myself off and try again. It is the song "Dream the Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha, the musical. The last verse always makes me shiver with awe inside:

"And I know if I only be true,
To this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm,
When I’m laid to my rest,
And the world will be better for this,
That one man scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove with his last ounce of courage,
to reach the unreachable star."

There is not a single song written in my life that does not contain some significant seed from those words. It is the quest that drives us onward. The quest that is the question that leads home: The Place of my Songworld.

Namaste,
Ganga

Rejoice in the Jubilant Birdsongs

2009-08-13T15:25:00.001-07:00

Where is that connecting point in which the Almighty meets with the child of creation? How do we know that there is no separation between the flow of all nature and the movement of our own life? Many of us are taught a way to experience this either through science or religion or tradition. How many of us feel it beyond knowing it? Are there moments when the heart is so overfilled with radiance that only tears will ease that sensation of wanting to explode into a million pieces? Are there times when the pain of another moves us to break down ourselves? This is a feeling of Oneness. Where is the meeting point? Each of us must find a way to embrace Consciousness. Then we truly experience who we are and where we can go from here.

My own heart longs to continuously seek out meeting points with "That" which created me. During intense moments of singing, there has been an ecstatic feeling of connection. Sometimes it was fleeting but it lifted me for days. Maybe you have experienced passionate union with a lover where the climax was so intense, that you basked in your togetherness long after. The mind surrenders and Consciousness floods our day to day life with possibility and Vision. Effortlessly we focus on all the glorious dreams of our heart. We write poetry and dance. We smile at others and give generously because we feel the unlimited abundance within us. This is another way to find a meeting place with Consciousness.

Recently two events have directed me towards the songs of birds to explore more deeply this journey into Unity. In his last book "Medicine Paint" published shortly after his passing last year, Dale Auger, a profound and gifted aboriginal artist from Canada reveals that the "Winged Ones" give us messages from beyond and are also a symbol of inner expression and voice. As I stared into his paintings on each page, tears of recognition came pouring down my face. I felt the Truth of his ideas. He painted in complete communion with that "Meeting Point" and drew forth the wisdom from that place. In one picture, he invokes the inner spirit in a painting of a small bird coming our of his mouth. He reaches far within himself to access his Oneness. By doing so he still reaches out to me long after his physical body has made the artwork. He reaches out through timelessness and spacelessness to teach me this secret he knew through birds.

More wisdom then came through an article which discussed how the resonance of bird songs guides the buds to open up in Spring. What a profound revelation. There is still so much we need to know about the music of life. If we listen to the songs that vibrate deep within us, we will begin to feel the "Meeting Place" again and again. Just listen to the glorious call of every bird.

On this journey towards my unity with all things, the words of my Teacher echo again and again in my heart:

"Your Individual Consciousness is the same as Universal Consciousness. When you know this, your whole being is saturated with this feeling. Only then will you be able to Vision with an Unlimited mind, and physically manifest your Vision with certainty. You will know your Power and you will ask the Power, and the Power will give unfailingly; this is the secret behind the command, "Ask and Receive".

And so in this posting I humbly ask in the Name of One:

"Sing to me the Inside songs
from the Heart of the Creator
pulsating in all of life
weaving melodies
through every kingdom
conquered and unconquered
by glorious Vision
Reveal Thy sound of Oneness
through Essence
which came and assumed a body
and wrapped itself in time
and space to play
the game of lost and found

Sing to me the Inside Songs
that awaken every bud to bloom
with abandon and complete assurance
that the Sun will rise
again and again
that the sun will rise
and again
and again
again
inside"

Can you imagine being able to express your Truth with the clarity and power of birds that open the buds in Spring? In the harmony of all life, these have their place and I long to know them intimately within my very Self.

How do you express your joy and creative impulses?
I'd love to know. Write a comment below or send me an email.

Ganga

While Our Lion-Hearted Soul Arises...

2009-08-11T17:15:00.001-07:00

How can we make it a habit to always see the wonder around us? It seems that the more conveniences and entertainments are available, the more we miss the romance and wonder of life. How can we remind ourselves to savour the very breathe moving so generously in and out of our bodies? How can we make our lives an enchantment and live in the bliss of beauty and abundance?

One of my favorite stories from "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" is "The Story of the Lion Cub Who Was Raised by Goats". It is an ancient tale about a baby lion who is adopted by a herd of goats and he is raised as one of them. One day he meets a lion and is awakened :

“The lion cub saw the majestic face of the Lion and then saw the reflection of that face in the pond. Then he saw his own reflection in the pond. He became still for a moment which felt like eternity, and then gave out a loud roar, “I am a Lion”. The Universe resounded with a joyful cry. I am a Lion.”

It took so many years for me to rejoice in this knowing. When I was a teenager, I felt the constant pain of feeling there was more to life yet no one could reveal to me what it was. I searched for the answer in religion. I felt no life and joy in all those places. I ran away to numb the pain with substances that would temporarily allow me to escape from what my Consciousness was aching to reveal to me. There was a whisper in the wind that beckoned me to look, but no one around me was feeling this so I thought there was something wrong with me. I ran for many years all the while learning about positive thinking and attracting what you want. Still I felt no heart in this wisdom and the only life I wanted was to be silly and laugh. I always found friends to do that with and still there was so much pain inside.

Years later, when I heard the story of the lion cub for the first time, I realized how much my goatlike existence had not prepared me for my lion-heart. How could it?
The story brought wells of tears to my eyes and I remember the great sense of relief that followed. My Teacher always encouraged us to question everythng. He said to ask yourself everyday "Why do I do the things I do"? His visioning and meditation tools are my equipment but the work is within myself. Then I see the Heart of the child is that Lion-Heart. We are the romance and wonder of this life. We forget. Now we can remember. This song came reminds me of this lesson always:

"We are begotten from the Love
Before the Beginning, there was One
Look into the eyes of a child
And feel that wondrous shining Sun

Most of our lives we live in thirst
Looking for water from those fast asleep
While our Lion-Hearted Soul arises
We find ourselves amongst the drowsy sheep

So we long for a place in the heart of a friend
In the arms of a lover, no beginning no end
We reach for a place and we never give in
'Till we remember ourselves
Oh we remember ourselves
and love conquers yet again"

This song will also be on the upcoming album.
Here's to gazing into the pond and seeing your own Soul.

:)

Ganga

"Laughter Lightens" - Tulshi Sen

2009-08-08T09:48:00.001-07:00

Part One
This story is unbelievable because to this day I cannot tell you how it works, just that it does and did at a time when I thought the world was just aiming one huge spit ball after another at my my life. After Narayan passed away, my days felt so very intense and overwhelming. I quit my job with the airlines because I could not deal with the day to day lineups of challenges there. After working and spending years of following my husband around hospital wards and treatments, I felt and looked worn out and about 200 years old. Totally Kaput. I didn't know who I was anymore or what I wanted. I remember one particular day so clearly. Dressed in my white terry cloth bathrobe over my favoite pyjamas,opening yet another bill and throwing it onto my bed, I felt tremendously sorry for myself. I jumped under the covers and planned to stay there all day. Then an incredible memory flooded my mind:

One night, we were gathered around my Teacher after a seminar. He was telling us that all the Power that ever was or will be is right here inside of us. He was saying that we do not need to rely on anythig outside of ourselves to make our dreams come true. With his twinkling eyes and crystal clear voice, he added that when faced with any problem in life, stand back and look at it and laugh. Laugh even if you don't feel like laughing. Then he challenged us with an experiment to try when we feel disheartened. He said to say "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo". I remember after a minute of deafening silence and puzzling looks everyone started roaring with laughter and jumping around saying "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo". I was waving my arms and imitating a rooster walk and saying it loudly to myself. I felt giddy and light.

After the memory faded, I immediately slid out from under the covers to get Narayan's guitar out of the living room. I sat back on my bed and began to strum. Half-heartedly challenging my Teacher's idea about being able to vaporize my problems, I remember thinking that this "Cock-A-Doodle Doo" would have to prove itself to me. I couldn't get any lower so my heart began to compose a way to rise out of my trouble. I cannot emphasize enough how powerful this song became in my day-to-day existence. Constantly facing feelings of lack, loneliness and purposelessness, the intention to overcome these obstacles crafted one of the greatest "depression-busters" of my life.

What I always want to emphasize in my song blog is that these songs came from the depth of my longing and shaped me from the inside. Over many years some lyrics would change or the melody was modified. I always encourage people to find their own songs. Within a single chord there are millions of possibilities to explore. You don't need to understand theory, only be willing to look into your own soul for the music. There is a voice deep within your heart that has so much to express and let out. We just have to get past all the thoughts which deny that we are unique in absolutely every way there is. Working daily with so many budding and established "Creatives" shows me this again and again.

The purpose of this posting is "Laughter Lightens". We have the power within us to vaporize the heaviness that thoughts can bury us in. The "Rooster Song of Self-Mastery" continues to carry that message. It has helped me to bravely face those things which I fear and rise above them. I know it has given many others a more light hearted look at life.

The lyrics to this song will be in my next blog as well as one other irreplacable absolutely necessary and vital song ingredient. This will be definitely be on the upcoming album.

I'll leave you with some words beautiful words of my Teacher:

"There is a secret dwelling place in our hearts.
That space is as infinite as the space outside us.
All the power of the Universe is concentrated here.
We must enter that space.
It is there we will find our belief:
Our "deserve level" beyond what it is now.
In that space outside us we do what we are told.
We are dependent on what we have and not on what we can have.
In that space in our heart we can desire what we have never desired before
but always wanted to.
It is here in this space in our heart
all desires are fulfilled
and we confidently await for its manifestation"

No one can enter that space for us. We are the explorers. We are given tools and the rest is up to each and every one of us. Oh..and when it gets riduculously hard and bumpy or easy breezy,don't forget to laugh. (Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!)

Ganga

Sing and Soar Ever Heartward

2009-08-06T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have a few friends who are having an incredibly hard time right now. Sometimes the only thing to do is listen and love them. From my point of view I see their strength and their beauty beneath all the self-doubt and fear. We are all here on a journey to break free from all that binds us to our limitations. Our conditioning is the hardest to overcome when we feel disconnected from the inner core of our Being. I want to hold them and tell them that this is an important vital phase in their growth back to the heart. I just want to smile and say that everything is perfect as it is and these experiences are all important to recognize. But I know too well how it feels. No one could have consoled me when I was in my own shadow phase. Here is a song that came from those deep questioning times. After a long crying episode, it would remind me that my dreams are waiting for me. When I had no Vision, I felt comfort from these words and when a Vision came, I felt the soaring up to fantastic heights. These words have served my life so well. Perhaps they will help you find your courage through hard moments:

"It’s such a long road we travel
It’s such a long road we walk with You
It’s such a long way to freedom
As our Vision sees us through
It’s been lifetimes of waiting
Not knowing what to do
And still keep on believing
That love will see us through

With every step we take Your name
With every tear we cry a river flows
And in the ocean of your comfort
A giant rainbow glows
Until we smile and laughter’s song is ringing
As we spread our wings and fly
To see the road so small beneath us now
From a clear unending sky

It’s such a long road we travel
When our Visions hold us there
Now you teach us to see far beyond ourselves
And soar like birds in the air
Embracing our freedom everywhere
Then what a wondrous life we lead
As our Vision takes us there"

Ganga Fondan, 2001

Ever since I can remember, I've been looking for my love in so many forms. Every time I think that it is lost, singing brings me back to my true home...my Heart. I know this is a personal journey for each and every one of us. We see different rainbows, we experience love and joy in unique ways and we follow different horizons. Each sees a dreams or a Vision of what is ideal or desired. How often my Teacher would remind us of the famous words in the movie musical ,South Pacific :

"You've got to have a dream
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true....?"

These words inspired me to keep singing and finding my dream. A dream that grows in the depth of the Heart. It is this dream that eludes the dreamer from time to time. Then we cannot feel our bliss and connection anymore. Someitmes our whole life aches to find it. We become sick or emotional or even cynical. Sometimes it seems impossible to overcome the shadows that follow our days. Keep singing or drawing or painting or writing. I have learned that "writing crystalizes thought." Be gentle with yourself and try not to do it all alone.

Try meditating too. It is very calming. The intellect cannot find the way to the dream. There is a place beyond thinking that guides us. When you fall in love or hold a baby for the first time or when something moves you to tears, you experience That.

We are loved so wholly and unconditionally. We are made out of That essence. Keep going and deep growing. You are well on your way toward the bliss you seek.

In the spirit of that Love, we are One.

Ganga

Sing Beyond this Fear of Tomorrow

2009-08-04T18:55:00.000-07:00

“Tomorrow is a ferocious creature.
Tomorrow is your tormentor and you have glorified tomorrow.
Tomorrow is your greatest solace and tomorrow is your devil.
Past, present and future have always kept you captive.
When you love, you don’t love in the past.
You don’t love in the future.
You don’t love in the now.
You are blissful.
Bliss is timeless.
The mind cannot understand bliss.
You cannot have bliss with your mind.
The mind cannot understand timelessness.
It craves to find time.
Mind craves for that cage of time.
Most people are trapped in the past and they fear the future.
“Now” for them is a frantic moment of finding tomorrow.
That’s why even the great Jesus of Nazareth said:
“Think not of the morrow.”
If you carry thoughts of tomorrow you carry anxious thoughts.
Every time you find yourself thinking of tomorrow, check yourself.
Tomorrow is a ferocious creature.
Tomorrow is a monster.
Tomorrow is a mirage.
Your oasis in the desert of life is your timelessness.
Your bliss.
Where you live.
In your heart, everything is already done.
See it being done and it is done.
Then you can revel and enjoy time.
Then you can say “I had a GOOD TIME.”

-Tulshi Sen, Morning Talks, "Why Am I Afraid of Tomorrow?"

This beautiful paradox occupies my mind tonight as I realize yet again that my anxiety comes when I forget who I am. As I was listening to this audio earlier and immersed knee deep in digital art, I suddenly wanted to transcribe the words and soak in them for a while. Now I'm grinning on the inside and I don't feel like thinking beyond this moment. I close my eyes and send out this feeling to the Universe. I hear the pouring rain outside my window and the soft roll of thunder rumbling across the sky.

My oasis in the desert of life is my timelessness.
My Bliss.
Where I live.
In my heart, everything is already done.
I see it being done and it is done.

Love ripples out to every corner of the Universe.
The sky roars in celebration and jubilant tears.

I Am That.

Peace.

Ganga

Traveling Home with the Little Blue Pony

2009-08-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

My first car was a blue Hyundai Pony which opened up a whole new world to me. Sitting behind the wheel, listening to my favorite tunes, I used to travel all across Canada and even the Universe on certain days. I paid for the down payment with the money my maternal grandmother left for me to buy a piano to encourage me musically. Before she left this world, she promised me she would always give me some sort of sign that she would always be around. Often I would park in a farmer's field and lie against the windshield of that Pony and look up at the evening sky. I could not see or feel her. I felt so frustrated and lost sometimes. I wanted her to know that I needed a car more than music in my life. Maybe she didn't understand. Eventually I started to feel intense stirrings in my heart and this song (written almost 15 years later) embodies what I felt and how far I travelled to find my answers. The little Blue Pony was always a real little horse to me because he had such a great adventurous spirit and agile gentleness. This is our journey together:

"I remember driving my little blue pony
through dusty back roads and wheat fields
and cornfields watching the sun set.
This helped me to forget all the things
that I wanted to run away from.
Then I’d stop to look at the trees
and see the branches moving in the breeze
and I’d always feel your Hand
reaching out to guide me to You
Reaching out knowing I needed You.

Then one day You handed me
a pair of rose colored glasses
The kind that let me see beauty
behind all the hurt and the fear and the lies.
Rose-colored glasses
I wore happily
Rose-colored glasses
to teach me to see.
Oh watching the sun rise
Looking for my Heart,
Looking for my Heart

I remember driving my little blue pony
to Toronto away from Alberta
heading towards something.
Heading towards anything
that would help me to grow
to better know you my Heart
Rose-colored glasses I wore faithfully
knowing that someday
I would be with You
and I’d stop to look at the trees
and see the branches moving in the breeze
I would always feel your Hand
reaching out
to guide me to You
Reaching out
knowing I’ll make it through.

Now you’ve taken away those rose-colored glasses.
I no longer need them to see
that You’re right here inside me
to teach me, to guide me,
Oh You set me free
watching the sun rise,
following my Heart,
following my Heart,
following my Heart.

And I’ll always remember
The little blue pony
and all the roads
that led me to You."

Ganga Fondan, 1998

Every day I recognize that everything I look for in the outer world first reveals its form in the inner One. Everything I longed for: my grandmother's kiss in the wind, to be one with my soulmate (who has now reached the other world) and to find the Truth of who I am and where I am going (the Outer Teacher reveals the Inner Teacher), my life continues to show me over and over that there is no separation between my deepest desires and my dreams fulfilled. Their existence is one. What I have held and loved never truly disappears, only changes form. I can not contact that knowing place with my ever limited measuring mind. This song leads to the source of this knowing: the Heart, or Consciousness.

"Your Consciousness is not time and space bound. It is free from the past, present, and the future, which is the realm of the mind. The stuff of Vision is Consciousness. You cannot Vision in the past and you know you cannot Vision in the present; it is too fleeting a moment to do so, and you cannot Vision in the future; you can only Vision in the Absolute and your vision is not suject to any contingency or condition. Therefore it is already yours. You go about your daily life knowing that you already have it. It is no longer a make-believe world, it is real. Your Vision is your reality." - Tulshi Sen, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

So many people ask me how it is possible to find the right life partner or get the right job. They feel overwhelmed with the books on the laws of attraction and positive thinking. There is a look of frenzy in their eyes to know how to get what they want. I dedicate my life to passing on the knowledge that was given me. I know that the ancient tools work. We don't have to do it alone. We each take off our rose-colored glasses in our own time. Then we can let go and let the symbolical little blue Pony take us to our True Home.

We are One.

Ganga

Find the Song that will Dance You Awake

2009-07-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

This song began with a desire to know self-healing, self-trust and inner wisdom. In the shadow times when I missed my lover and my life with him, I needed to know that everything happening was leading me to a more powerful place. Back then, there were many people around me struggling through their day to day lives and this song was for them as much as for me. It felt so hard to know what to do next so I questioned the Universe over and over to show me the reason for experiencing unbearable pain and how to rise above it. This song came together in few short weeks and gave me such tremendous hope:

"Where do you wander in your body of dust?
What do you need and who do you trust?
How do you heal and do you see the real?
Come sing a song of freedom,
I know just how you feel.

Come share your sadness.
Release any hate.
Look for the oneness beyond all the ache.
Touch only beauty, your soul wants to dance.
Come sing a song of freedom.
Just give yourself a chance.

(Chorus)
Free from slavery arise
It’s time to open up your eyes
And lift away that look of pain
To open up your great heart again

Look deep inside you and feel your desire
Is it one that can burn you or lift you up higher?
Does your smile lead to laughter?
Is your intention clear?
Come sing a song of freedom.
There’s only right now and here

Come let your deep imagination soar.
Believe for a moment, you can always ask for more
Let go of limitation, let go of all the fear
The one you have been waiting for
…is finally here.”

Ganga Fondan, 1998, Invocation to Freedom

And in the flickering candlelight of a one room apartment, my heart sang so intensely with the desire to experience Truth. Closing my eyes I sometimes saw a great blazing fire surrounded by many people who slowly started to dance. At first their movements were gentle and careful and gradually became more animated. Everyone longed to know the great Creator within and in the presence of music and sincere intention, the beautiful feelings would come. Sometimes the song felt like a private prayer and whenever someone was deeply sad or disillusioned with life, my heart would sing out to them. Even during the day, this song would dance in my thoughts and keep me smiling. Beyond all the cynicism of the world around me, the peace would come again and again. In that stillness, the Creator lifted my life from the inside. Singing would often erase any feeling of separation. We became One. Truth.

In those precious moments, the words of my Teacher would ring in my memory:

"This is the Truth and knowing this Truth will set us free. Free to be whatever we want to be, do whatever we want to do, and have whatever we want to have. Intellectual understanding is not enough. It must be believed. It must become our knowing. When it becomes our Being then we will realize the Truth and the Truth shall set us free." *

Practicing the Four Proclamations and doing the exercises of my Teacher, I realize more and more what his words mean. The intellect cannot satisfy the yearning of the heart. Otherwise we merely live someone else's definition of Truth. We must experience our Oneness in order to make peace with ourselves. We must experience this Truth within ourselves. Then we can take charge of our life and live the life we truly desire.

Everyone has a way to this knowing. Beyond loneliness, beyond pain and fear, this knowing waits in the silence within. We each find a way to reach that place and and experience it personaly. The final verse of the song takes us there:

"Knock on the door and it shall open unto you.
Ask for a kingdom and this heaven shines through.
Ask for its comfort and feel its embrace
shining all around you in each smiling face.
Rising within... you are never alone.
Come sing a song of freedom and dance your way home.

Free from slavery arise.
It’s time to open up your eyes
and lift away that look of pain
to open up your great heart again
to open up your great heart again."

I celebrate this song of our freedom here and now.

Namaste,

Ganga

* Quote from "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World" - by Tulshi Sen

Can You Feel the Universe Love You Back?

2009-07-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

Back in 1998, at Narayan's request, we went to a beautiful lake to spread his ashes. The boatman drove in spiral circles as we placed fresh roses and dried roses into the water which sparkled brilliantly in the sunlight. It was then I decided to sing "Amazing Grace" with his old guitar. The most beautiful feeling came over us in a soft breeze. The whole of nature seemed to be the embodiment of my lover. This song came out a few years later to commemorate what it felt like to want to hold the entire universe in my arms and love it back:

"Let me bloom in your garden of plenty
Let me soar, let me dance, let me sing
Spread my arms open wide to the laughing sun
As it shines on everything

Let me give when my heart is open
Let me brighten the world with a smile
Let me know there is always another way
Another view, another style

Everyone hears a different drummer
Sometimes it seems like we dance alone
But in this life's great symphony
Every note will lead us home

Let me ask for the things my heart yearns for
Reach out and touch them all in One name
Let me feel all of life in its ecstasy
Let no moment be the same

Let me stand by the words that I have spoken
Let me plant seeds of truth that they may grow
Let me shine when my heart feels its purpose
Let me live free wherever I go

Let me feel with compassion and mercy
Let me stay on this path rich and sweet
Let me close my eys and be still sometimes
to bask at the garden of your feet

Ganga Fondan, 2002

Singing is a way for me to hug the Universe back. This song in particular brings up the feelings of that day of spreading Narayan's ashes. Narayan's mom and sister and his step-father were there with me in that boat. The boatman was a friend of Narayan's. Narayan's mom brought 24 fresh roses and I brought all the dried roses from past celebrations. The boatman started at the center of the lake and began to make slow circles wider and wider. His mother opened the bag with the ashes and motioned for me to take some into my hand. The ashes felt silky and so fine and silvery gray. There were bits of bone and teeth and they felt smooth. I looked up at Narayan's mother She held that bag like it was her baby. Her courage to face this day kept me vigilant and in complete awe. Then we would slip some ashes into the water. Each of us would take turns. Then a fresh rose, then a dried one and on and on... letting go and letting go some more...

Then when everything was safely in the lake, the massive spiral circle held its shape before us. A million sun sparkles danced on the slight movement of the water. Everything was perfect. Narayan was completely present. I heard the leaves rustle in faraway trees. I saw the soft billowy clouds floating in rapture across the sky. The universe seemed to be watching. Reaching for Narayan's guitar, "Amazing Grace" came pouring out through my soul. After a few more songs, we headed back towards the shore. I remember when the boatman gave me a hug afterwards. He said that the lake would never be the same again. Beneath my smile, I believed that the whole world would never be the same again.

It's only in this last half year that I'm beginning to allow these memories to flood my mind. Keeping those days in silence was a way to nourish and nurture the heart which grew with the outpouring of songs. Now, lately, I feel Narayan's whisper. He reminds me that these memories are a great gift to pass on. Every moment is a letting go, even now. By recording the songs, remembering where they come from, honoring the moments that designed them and reveling in the power of love itself, we embody a deeper purpose for our love. Long ago, we had the words "you and me forever" engraved on our wedding rings. Suddenly I realize that forever is not linear time, but precious moments that dance eternally like stars that still shine long after their flames have been stilled. They find new ways to celebrate themselves and uplift lifetimes of humanity.

And so like this song today, my life reaches out to celebrate being alive. Celebrate the wonder of love and being loved. Celebrate the Universe personified in a noble and wise heart that shaped itself a beautiful body to love and be loved by me. Once broken free, this love exploded into infinite pieces which still float majestically around my life and intensify everything I touch and everything that touches me.

So many people come into my life and ache to experience love like this but they have built thick walls of cynicism and fear around themselves. These walls keep them from seeing the stars at night or gushing over the light of the moon. These walls keep them from tasting their food or making faces with babies. The magic and wonder of life eludes them. I admit there were many moments when loneliness and sadness crept into my thoughts to build a wall and always my Teacher would guide me with exercises and meditations to prevent this from happening. He would gently advise me to do them and say:

"Then you will be transported to a land of magic, color and vibrancy, and you will realize that the place that you lived all this time is not the same as you had perceived it to be." - "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World"

Every time my heart would blossom again, my love for Narayan would seem to open even more. How can we separate the Creator from nature, the lover from the beloved? Everything is One.

"Let me feel with compassion and mercy
Let me stay on this path rich and sweet
Let me close my eys and be still sometimes
to bask at the garden of your feet"

May you experience the rapturous love you desire whether it is the love of God, the love of a soulmate or the love of a friend. They are all the same gift in different forms.

May bliss find you over and over,

Ganga

Behold the Daughter of the Earth and Sky

2009-07-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Oh Beloved Rainbow Daughter
Reveal yourself at last through this heavy veil

Lead us in this time of great transformation
Dance us into reconciliation with our One Mother

Let us feel Her emergence from the lifeblood of the sea
Drawing our every limb and muscle from the bounty of earth

Breathe this dream deeper into us
That we may feel the fire of Her Spirit

That we may restore this spinning space
To the great Dream that guides us back to Her

Through the world of colors
Flight and soaring into white…

Bring this Heaven back to light
Oh Beloved Rainbow daughter

That we may let go the pains of loss and ignorance
And prepare a worthy place for all the generations of Peace"

-Ganga Fondan, 2009

Tonight's posting is a prayer into the unknown, a song of reaching into the great Promise itelf. My Teacher once told us that every desire is a promise fulfilled. When we ache for something and feel it in our heart, then we connect to it's existence because it is real. We don't yet have the equipment to know it in the 3-dimensional world. That is why vigilance of thinking is so important. Protect that dream at all costs.

Losing Narayan, my soul cried out to know why I was meant to love my beloved so much only to let him go. In my utter exhaustion and desperation, a still small voice replied and filled me with a desire to find my answers through writing songs of freedom and peace. The guidance and wisdom of my Teacher gave me the tools for unlocking grief and loneliness which in a greater light revealed themselves as joy and romance with nature. Eventually realizing the impossibility of being seperated, my beloved comes back to me and dances in every windswell, in every song of the birds, in the soft clouds that float across the sky and in the drops of rain that pound the midnight earth. He rests in every gentle tear and rises in the passion and devotion of the music that choreographs my life. The symbolical rainbow child represents the unity of the earth and sky. She rises out of the love of the sun for the water. Only then can rainbows appear.

This unfolding is revealed so beautifully by the words of my Teacher:

"The Kingdom of God is in the Absolute, beyond time and space and the centre of your Being, the region of Unconditioned thought. In unconditioned thought there is no doubt or anxiety, it is a certainty because there is no dependency on any condition to manifest the thought. It is a state of assured expectation." - Tulshi Sen

Narayan lives beyond conditioned thought. He shed his three dimensional body and lives in a place that I cannot see, taste, touch, hear or smell and yet there he is. All wordly knowledge can not give me this understanding. The absolutes to this life cannot be measured by the mind. They are ever changing. When we reach for the dream that calls beyond this world, we see a way beyond the mundane day to day tasks of our life. We see a rainbow forming on the horizon. It calls us back into the heart of our existence; How to raise our children, how to care for the sick, how to call forth intelligent and responsible leadership, how to care for the elderly and how to honor our innermost desires. Everything waits in that "state of assured expectation". Each of us holds a piece of that dream. Each of us holds bliss of an ecstatic Universe. We are all One.

There is no guarantee of how long we will have the luxury of a 3-dimensional body. Narayan reminds me of this again and again. What this moment offers is unique. What would you like to shape and mold out of it? What would you ask of the Rainbow Daughter? What would you offer the Great Mother as a legacy for those who follow this unfolding? Protect that dream at all costs.

Oh Beloved Rainbow Daughter:
Reveal yourself at last through this heavy veil
Fill us with the knowing
That our true heart's desire
is already written in the heart of the rising Sun

Peace Be With You,
Ganga

To Live as a Goddess in This World

2009-07-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Who was I as a woman and what was I supposed to become if I was not a wife or a mother? Without a burning desire to be a career woman, I felt like there was something wrong with me and this made it very hard to move around freely in my day to day life. I ached for some kind of passion and intensity to rise within me so that I could express something valuable. Out of this longing another song was beginning to take shape. I had no idea then how powerfully these words would guide me toward wholeness and encourage personal growth. It all began during a spring thunderstorm and took its time to formulate over a few weeks. I was missing Narayan terribly and so I sat up in bed, lit a candle and asked for help:

"Lord bless the spirit of woman
Guide her gently through the night
For she's had much to bear
But if she knows you are there
She'll always turn her face towards the light"

Essentially my heart believed in the goodness of all women and knew that many would not even have the strength to ask for themselves so I suddenly wanted to ask on behalf of all of them. That gave the song a powerful momentum and meaning right from the start. Narayan's faithful guitar felt soothing in my hands.

"Lord bless her tender aching heart
As she seeks her true family
Kindle her wondrous love
Help her to rise above
and feel her true divinity."

When it is hard to recognize our uniqueness and nurture it, there is a desire to fit in somewhere and feel understood by at least one other. The song was beginning to take on a flow of its own and the verses came quickly:

"Help her let go of all the times that betrayed her
Show her the sweetness of the girl
Help her to find all the beauty deep inside
To live as a Goddess in this world"

At that time I was spending copious amounts of time with my little niece who was just two. She was the essence of innocence and vulnerability and yet when I stared deeply into her eyes, she seemed like a discerning ancient grandmother. Her strength was soft and enduring. These qualities became my aim.

"Lord it's been hard for woman
Help her now to set the mark
That she may feel your Grace
and with a smile on her face
feel all the freedom in her heart

Help her let go of all the times that betrayed her
Show her the sweetness of the girl
Help her to find all the beauty deep inside
To live as a Goddess in this world"

Over the years, this song journey strengthens me from inside. Now I begin to see my unfolding manifested in womanhood beyond my own. The feminine energy rises to stand beside the masculine in balance. Feelings and flexible thinking together are qualities of invincibility. The words of my Teacher resonate with this realization.

"As the Universe so the Individual, as the Individual so the Universe."

Through meditation and songwriting this odyssey connects me further and further with the awe and wonder of life.

I am the embodiment of Consciousness.
I am the embodiment of Consciousness.

So are you.

Namaste,
Ganga

PS Oh and by the way, if you are in the Vancouver, Canada area this week-end, you won't want to miss this amazing two day seminar happening on July 25th and 26th. Many of these Master Key tools have opened a whole new level of creativity and awareness for me. This is all cutting edge stuff that really works.

A Wisdom Song from Long Ago Today

2009-07-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the 70's television series called "Kung Fu"? David Carradine played a young Shaolin priest named Caine who travelled across the States teaching all kinds of people a way of peace and unity? Well when I was ten years old this show mesmerized me completely. Every Wednesday night my mom and I would be glued with abandon to the television set. There is one episode that I remember to this day: One of the Masters was standing with the young Monk, Caine, by a goldfish pond and telling him that there are as many worlds as there are fish in that pond and then add the two worlds of they themselves standing there watching those fish. It was a puzzling statement to hear at the time. I did not realize then that I would spend many years contemplating that very idea in my adulthood.

Accepting the idea that Narayan was preparing to leave this world seemed impossible to me until shortly before the moment arrived. I identified his life with his body, with his physical and emotional presence in my life. Where would he go? The distance seemed unbearable to bear. Riding through the ebb and flow of my loss afterwards, a song by an ancient and powerful poet would soothe my aching heart. Past logic, past attachment and ignorance, the words carried me into another existence of Oneness. Eventually with a few guitar chords, it became a personal experience that I would repeat over and over. Listen to the words:

“The river and the waves are one surf:
Where is the difference between the rivers and the waves?
When the wave rises, it is water;
And when it falls, it is the same water again.

Tell me Sir, what is the distinction?
Because it has been named as wave,
shall it no longer be considered as water?

Within the Supreme Brahma
the worlds are being told like beads:
Look upon that rosary with the eyes of wisdom.” – Kabir
(translated by Rabindranath Tagore)

In our eager attempt to understand this world, we define and cut it up into little fragments of knowledge over and over until we actually believe them all to be separate. In the process we lose our sense of wholeness. Everything becomes my god, your god. My country. Your country. My money. Your money. My life. My death. Your birth. Your death. No wonder the fear of leaving this world has us so paralysed. When we can set the intention to go beyond this fear we take a great step towards reconnecting with the heart of life. We discover our true relationship with the Universe.

Kabir invites us to embrace the wholeness again. Water is still water as it flows in the kitchen sink. When it pours down from the clouds, we call it rain. As it freezes in a vast ocean, we call it an iceberg. As it flows through our body, we call it blood. As it pours forth from our eyes, we feel our tears. Are these not all still water? Kabir examines this question through the metaphor of water. As long as these definitions of the same substance continue to seperate our thinking, we will lose the great presence of water itself.

So often in that excruciating pain of separation, my urge to pick up Narayan's guitar came again and again. Kabir would invite me to let go and feel my unity with everything again. Water rushed through my imagination with waves rising and falling until everything was water. Everything hard and painful became fluid and revitalizing. Even my emotions softened and became watery tears running down my cheeks. Always in these moments I remember the words of my Teacher : "You are the drop of the Ocean and all the Ocean is in the drop of the Ocean."

I Am the drop of the Ocean and all the Ocean is in the drop of the Ocean.

A great poet who lived 700 years ago still offers so much joy. He still reaches out in profound words to show us all the way home.

Ganga

The Song that Helped me Conquer Mountains

2009-07-20T13:59:00.001-07:00

Years ago when my finances had catapulted into the "valley of the shadow of death" and my life seemed so disconnected from everything, my Teacher was explaining about conquering mountaintops and knowingly entering the mysterious valley. What I came to realize on that day was that if I was aiming for a mountain higher than the one I was standing on, then the valley I would go through would be greater than the distance I just scaled to get where I am standing now. It was like a lightbulb that went off over my head. On that day I didn't worry about the pain of the impending decline, only that I would some day feel a sense of purpose and momentum again. Now many years later, I feel like another mountain has been conquered and I have my heart set on a higher peak again. Like my Teacher assured us all those years ago, a great boon will be granted as we approach our desired destination. That is how I feel about the many songs that have come to help me reach my mountain top.

One of my greatest sources of strength was found writing the song "Higher Still". Whenever things feel really hard and horrible, I play this song on Narayan's old guitar and remember that control is really an illusion. It is a shadow that we rely upon to give us a sense of security. When we can rely on something that we cannot see or feel or taste or touch or smell...something that is beyond our intellect...then we begin to recognize our true source of strength cannot be measured or quantified. Where does that leave the tools of science? What is this Infinite in whose image we are made? Many cultures and traditions use the word God, or the Creator, Lord or Mother Nature or Consciousness. We each have a personal connection with that source of power and name it accordingly. In a world where everythig around us is changing so fast, we are bombarded with information-overload. Yet can this flashflood of images and words tell us who we are or where we are going from here? At times we need to be ok with not knowing the answers and trust that we are guided from within. These words always heighten my courage to look deeper into the heart of life:

"I stand on a mountain
And see a higher one still
I must go through a valley
To conquer that hill
You’re the guide of my journey
I live in your Name
You move me forward
Till nothing’s the same
You lift my eyes upward
To that next highest peak
While the battle is raging
In that valley so deep

O Lord how you lift me
Every time I let go
I feel you inside me
As I tremble so

The dark has subsided
The sun shines anew
That mountain is waiting
I know what I must do… "

Ganga Fondan, 2005

Stepping into the unknown valley can be overwhelming. Even terrifying. But until we take that chance towards inner experience we cannot phathom that the very power that took care of us in our mother's womb is still with us. We won't be able to grasp the sense of awe and wonder that a child has seeing a butterfly for the first time. We need to reconnect with our inner knowing again. That is why I chose this song to be on my upcoming album. It has served me so well and may do wonders for you too. Here's to your own journey of conqering mountains.

Ganga

PS "Remember to let your valleys be higher than your mountaintops." - Tulshi Sen

Have You Got Your Postcard from the Sun?

2009-07-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

"Through the many faces of my life
I've been a daughter, a sister, a wife
Each full of love and great lessons taken in
Now it's time for a new chapter to begin

I want to find my own dream again
I want to break through these clouds of rain
straight to that bright shining sun
in the name of the One
I have my claim
I'm going to find my own dream again

I won't listen to what my country wants
I won't listen to what my family wants for me
'cause this heart is flying free
Straight to that bright shining sun
in the name of the One
I have my claim
where I live my own dream again

Oh i feel grateful for all I've learned
and for the people to whom I turned
Now like a river that flows to the sea
I let them all go now to their own destiny
while I follow that one light
blazing in me
I've got to find my own dream again

I want to find my own dream again
I know I'll break through these clouds of rain
straight to that bright shining sun
in the name of the One
I have my claim
I'm going to find my own dream again

I won't listen to what my country wants
I won't listen to what my family wants for me
'cause this heart is flying free
straight to that bright shining sun
in the name of the One I have my claim
where I live my own dream again

("Postcard from the Sun"- Lyrics, Ganga Fondan, 2009)

This song has been evolving these past 5 years as well. There were so many times when I thought that I would never figure out where I belonged. I had no idea what my dream was and if I even deserved to find it. But singing this song over and over filled my heart with courage again. It helped me to shed all the layers of trying to please everyone around me all the time. I wanted to feel the beat of my own heart. I wanted to internalize the freedom of the 4 Proclamations and stake my claim in the dream of my own making.

Now the time is coming. I feel a great transition is happening in my life. It is a great feeling of honoring the most sacred dream of all...the life I came here to live. The purpose I came here to fulfill. I begin to understand these things cannot be rushed. When the blossom begins to open, we know the reflection of the Vision has appeared. All of our dreams are real and waiting. We need to sing them alive and experience our unity. Only then are we lion-hearted and transformers of this world.

"Your vision is already in your heart, your Consciousness, the absolute where there is no time and space. This is the first creation. And it will unfailingly reflect in the mirror of existence, which is in the manifested world of the senses, the inevitable second creation. When you know this you will not in any way shape or form be concerned about the process of the second creation. This is the secret power of detachment." - Tulshi Sen

It is in these profound words of my Teacher that my song takes flight. Of course, years ago, the depth of what they meant completely eluded me. I only knew that I wanted to feel fulfilled and happy like I did with my Narayan. I knew that I wanted new experiences and sensations that would make the rest of my life rich and romantic. Singing these words over and over have carried me to a place of complete gratitude and have immersed me in a deeper wisdom of the Four Proclamations.

"Postcard from the Sun" embodies the idea that we see ourselves in the ideal already even though the clouds of circumstance don't reveal an inkling of manifestation to our 5 senses. How can we send a postcard if we haven't already arrived? Ahhhh don't ask the mind for the answer, appeal to the heart to show you the way.

Isn't it time you received a postcard from the dream of your own longing?
(Mark it: "Return to Sender") Tee Hee.

I greet the God in you and your journey!

Ganga

There Are Moments You Remember All Your Life...

2009-07-14T20:20:00.000-07:00

Press Record.
Heartbeats held by a thumb brushing against the strings...
The river of moments washes over me
They come alive again in words and feelings
They rise into victories
Their lessons ache to be celebrated
The feel of the soul dancing
The letting go and finding everything
The solidity of connection with Nothing
Soaring freely in an endless sky
Giving birth to inner Creation
The moments of my life come to expression
They offer themselves as bridges into songs
which lead back to wholeness again.
Ganga Fondan, 2009

While starting to record at Prosad's Beaches Studio yesteday, I felt such overwhelming feelings of gratitude and connection. Like my life has been preparing for this stage for the last eleven years. No matter what happens, the sheer ecstatic realizaiton of that is worth celebrating!

So many thoughts and feelings raced through me. Narayan was definitely there watching over me. He was the greatest catalyst who drew me out of my shell to come forward and create with him. Through the years of treatment, we sang to vision our next vacation. When we were frightened of losing each other, we sang about the power of love. When we felt blessed to be alive, we sang about gratitude. Every song seemed to be a bridge to where we wanted to be.

Now, after eleven years, I have learned many tools to draw from within and embrace strength and insight. With Narayan's old guitar in hand, many mountains were conquered and new horizons of my soul explored. He remains with me in spirit and our love reaches outward in wholeness. So many feelings rushed through me in that studio yesterday. I want to remember them all. They honor this journey. We continuously draw from the largest aspect of ourselves and expand in Oneness. The exciting thing is: there's so much more to discover.

May you also experience that tremendous joy that arises when you are completely in your element, in your zone, in your creative electricity. May your voice sing your highest story so that all our connections will become more and more real and alive. Then we can pass on this promise and knowing to our children and their children. That to me makes life worth living. Narayan left this world at the age of 33 and only now I realize that through my actions and aspirations, he continues to impact here and now. How precious that is to me.

Ganga
PS Did you notice the "Bee Awareness" insignia in the picture? These exercises are truly amazing.

Who will Lead Us Back to Awe and Wonder?

2009-07-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

"My teacher is so near to me that I scarcely think of myself apart from her. "How much of my delight in all beautiful things is innate, and how much is due to her influence, I can never tell. I feel that her being is inseperable from my own, and that the footsteps of my life are in hers. All the best of me belongs to her - there is not a talent, or inspiration or a joy in me that has not been awakened by her loving touch."
- Helen Keller, "The Story of My Life"

Watching the movie, "Miracle Worker" always moves me to tears again and again. Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke portray this true life story of a young deaf and blind girl who has never experienced her world beyond the sense of touch. The relentless endurance and dedication of one young teacher is unlike any other I have ever read or heard about. The young Helen fights tooth and nail against the discipline and persistent repetitions that are required of her and runs away to the security of the outside world. This is usually the soft affection of her mother who pities and spoils her and wants to make it easy for her daughter. Annie Sullivan strives to make Helen completely dependent on her so that she can open up the realtionship between the inner world and the outer world to her pupil. She never allows herself to see anthing less than Helen's success. At one point in the movie, Annie thinks to herself and ponders the idea that if a young girl were buried alive, the whole town would do everythig they could to dig her out. She questions why no one can see Helen in the same way. Her own commitment to Helen is unflinching. Finally,after many more battles Helen suddenly begins to understand the value of being able to communicate her thoughts and learn about the life around her. Now, the young girl's joy knows no bounds. The ecstasy of her feelings find expression and Helen spends the rest of her life in awe and wonder of everything.

This is evident in the many books Helen later wrote. One of my favorites is "The story of My Life". Her profound journey lifts me and at the same time I feel questions arise:

Where are the teachers that will bring us back to awe and wonder? Where is it in me that I may embrace the success of another with such devotion as Annie Sullivan? With what courage and tenacity will the Song of my Heart bring forth its shining light? How many are yearning to be awakened to the beauty and wonder of living an authentic and rich purposeful life? How many will fight tooth and nail against this waking even though they want it with all their heart?

Profound words of encouragement are found in a poem written by a great Indian poet who articulates this exact sentiment in the following lines:

"So the storm still seeks its end in peace.
As it strikes peace with all its might.
Even thus my rebellion strikes against they love
And still its cry is "I want Thee" - Rabindranath Tagore, "I Want Thee"

As I place the dvd of Helen Keller's life back onto the shelf, I say a silent thank-you for Annie Sullivan who reminds us that "Love Never Fails".

May Love always guide your life and Vision.

Ganga

"My Individuality Is A Centre of Expression"

2009-07-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Waking up this morning felt uneasy. It seemed like everything was going to take a lot of effort. Reaching for my copy of "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", the bookmarked page opened itself. On the bookmark itself was written "To overcome fear right now right here, I only need let go." These were the beginnings of a song that started to unfold back in 2003. Feelings of frustration and unclarity had revealed a desire to know what I was really doing with my life:

What is this game?
Help me to let it go.
The safe, the sure,
the solving, the control.
Where is my soul?
Why does it not speak?
How long must I seek
to find the truth?

Slowly I feel
There is nothing between us.
No skin,
No color,
No wall,
No shadow…
When will I know
and see the illusion;
The world’s confusion
toying with me.

Oh I want to be set free
I ask This Consciousness in me
Guide my mind to know
From where I come
There I go…

Help me to see
The oneness of everything-
all sights and sounds from One Source.
But where lies the force
that designs separation
from its own concentration
of Eternity?

Oh I want to Be set Free
I ask This Consciousness in me
Guide my mind to know
From where I come
There I go…

Yes, then will I know,
to overcome fear,
Right now, right here,
I only need let go.

Ganga Fondan, 2009

This song has been a journey in itself for seven years and the lyrics kept changing because more and more clarity came with meditating on the "Four Proclamations". Now today, another realization dawned after writing down some ideas in my notebook.

In his book, "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", the author writes:

"You will know that you live and move and have your Being in the Universe and you will also know that you are your own Universe. You will know that your individuality is a center of expression of All Power. It is through you the Universe continues its creation by becoming you."

In my notebook, I changed Mr. Sen's last sentence to:
"It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.
It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.
It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.
It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.
It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me."

Entering that into my notebook several times gave me such a rush. Suddenly the St. Francis Prayer ("Make me a channel of Your Peace") made more sense. Suddenly it was effortless to think "Of myself I do nothing. It is the Father in me that doeth all the works." Those words had been a part of my upbringing, but it was as if for the first time I could feel the ease of their meaning....the hope of these words and the promise of them. Not comparing myself with Eternity,I (for a glimpse of a moment) was this Eternity. It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me. For those few glorious seconds, happiness flooded my day. This blogpost is the outpouring of this feeling.

In that Oneness, the urge, the expression, the song, the writer, the reader, the computer, the guitar, the notebook, the Teaching, the Teacher and the student are One song or "Universe" in perfect harmony. In that feeling of Oneness there is no resistance to anything. There is only a surrender because I cannot lack. I cannot suffer. I Am Perfect. It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me. It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me. It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me. It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.

The very power that I am writing these words with is that Power. The very power that guides my next breath is that Power. My Individuality is a centre of expression of that Power.

It is through me the Universe continues its creation by becoming me.

"Yes, then will I know, to overcome fear,
Right now, right here, I only need let go. "

Thus is a day filled with Gratitude and Perpetual Joy.

Namaste.

Ganga

Shatter the Dream and Sing Me Awake

2009-06-30T20:02:00.000-07:00

"Serenade my existence with the Truth that I may rise with a real sense of Abundance. Tear down the illusions of thinking so that I may know the birthright of my appearance here in this world. Fill me with courage and rapture so that the Song and I may become One. No more settling for leftover pieces of somebody else's composition. Raise Your Voice in me that I may proclaim that sound of freedom for all Eternity. Was I not begotten out of the Universal Symphony Itself? Will You not dissolve me back to that Kingdom of the Unstruck Sound? Bathe me in that Music that will take me Home. Is it not in the asking that the promise is fulfilled? There is no grovelling in this Kingdom of perfect Harmony. Sing, sweet Bird of my Vision and Lead Thou Me Onward.
Sing until there is no You and no I."

Today's blog entry is a meditation on the following quote from "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", by Tulshi Sen:

"Your Individual Consciousness is the same as Universal Consciousness. When you know this, your whole Being is saturated with this feeling. Only then will you be able to vision with an Unlimited mind, and physically manifest your Vision with certainty. You will know your Power and you will ask the Power, and the Power will give unfailingly; this is the secret behind the command, "Ask and Receive."

All the circumstances in my life that still grate and chafe are softspots in my visioning. There are still areas where I compromise what I really desire to be experiencing. This gives me an opportunity to source out my weaknesses and work on them. I keep asking to be shown. The artwork helps me to process my feelings and look at them. Then staring deeply into the images, the words form. Then there is a tremendous sense of release and peace that comes.

May you feel that peace inside of you.
May creativity burst alive through your own experiences.
May you ask for audacious fulfillments.

Ganga

Revel in the Zig-Zag Dance of Life

2009-06-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

I remember years ago, Master Visionary, Tulshi Sen revealed a secret for success that I wanted to capture somehow so as to never forget it. He said: "When the world wants you to zig, you zag". I felt a wave of freedom flow through me at that moment. All the outward expectations of what I ought to be doing with my life simply vanished in that instant. It was as if this declaration of freedom would allow me to find what I really wanted to do with my life. Later that year a powerful and lively song poured through me and guided me many times back towards my inner Self. When children hear this song, their eyes light up and I feel the magic of their freedom of thinking reaching out to me. Remember the zig-zag rule and you will always be forging your own unique path to success. Here are the the lyrics:

Rise up every morning
Stretch your body to the sky
Bow low ... there you go
There's that feeling
Feeling high...

Take a step every morning
Through the magic of your heart
Aim high you butterfly
Don't you be no butter tart

When the world wants you to zig
You zag with all your might
When the world wants you to crawl
You take your wings in flight
When the world wants you to sleep
You conquer every night
Life's too short to live
without a fight

Take a breath all the way in
Now breathe out...Begin again
Feel the peace of this release
Feel the flow of Love increase

Take the time every evening
to let your imagination fly
Audacious mind...what will you find?
Feel that feeling
Feeling highhhhhhhhhhhhh

When the world wants you to zig
You zag with all your might
When the world wants you to crawl
You take your wings in flight
When the world wants you to sleep
You conquer every night
Life's too short to live
without a fight

Rise up every morning......
Stretch your body to the sky.....

Ganga Fondan, 2005

Imbibed in this song are the ingredients for having an audacious life. These are gleaned from the principles in the book "Ancient Secrets of Success for Today's World", by Tulshi Sen. The hardest part of my journey has often been grasping the concept "limitless". His breakthrough techniques have helped me to stretch my imagination so that I might be able to reach higher and further than ever was possible before. We cannot zig or zag if we lack the ability to embrace a truly magnificent creative endeavor. Life is way too short to waste on living other people's dreams. BTW: This song will definitely be on my album coming out soon.

In the meantime remember: "When everyone else zigs, you zag."

Ganga
PS Are you still doing the "Bee-Aware" exercises? (from the "Bee-lieving in Myself" Blog entry.) Awesome eh?

Living the Impossible Successes of Our Vision

2009-06-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Jacques Cousteau (1910-1997) an ocean explorer, educator and inventor left behind an unparalleled legacy of knowledge about the sea and our interdependence with this mysterious realm. His life work was a consistant battle against tremendous odds. He was frustrated with school and was kicked out at an early age. Later, he wanted to conquer the sky as an aviator but suffered substantial injuries in a car accident at age 26. He was sent to the sea for rehabilitation. He practiced hours of swimming to gain strength again. Now his romance with the ocean enticed him to become a pioneer of diving and improving underwater exploration (invented the Aqualung so man could breathe more freely underwater with an oxygen tank)) and nourished the public with extraordinary glimpses into his underwater world by making countless educational deepsea films. He became an advocate for all sea life and started the Cousteau Society to preserve and continue his work.

This artwork is my tribute to Jacques Cousteau and his timeless message of safeguarding the sea for coming generations. Also here is a beautiful song tribute by John Denver about the famous Calyso and its legendary captain. Every time I listen to this song, my heart leaps up. Everything Jacques Cousteau accomplished was once thought impossible.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl7aM3nCqC0
and for a "Jacques Cousteau" Factsheet:
www.etawau.com/Island/Sipadan/JacquesCousteau.htm

Calypso
To sail on a dream on a crystal clear ocean
To ride on the crest of a wild raging storm
To work in the service of life and the living
In search of the answers to questions unknown
To be part of the movement and part of the growing
Part of beginning to understand

Aye, Calypso, the places youve been to
The things that youve shown us
The stories you tell
Aye, Calypso, I sing to your spirit
The men who have served you
So long and so well

Like the dolphin who guides you
You bring us beside you
To light up the darkness and show us the way
For though we are strangers in your silent world
To live on the land we must learn from the sea
To be true as the tide
And free as the wind-swell
Joyful and loving in letting it be

Aye, Calypso, the places youve been to
The things that youve shown us
The stories you tell
Aye, Calypso, I sing to your spirit
The men who have served you
So long and so well

Aye, Calypso, the places youve been to
The things that youve shown us
The stories you tell
Aye, Calypso, I sing to your spirit
The men who have served you
So long and so well

Words and music by John Denver

In the words of a Visionary Master:
"If you have a Vision and you know its possible to attain, then it is not a Vision, but a "to do" list." - Tulshi Sen

Here's to the "unattainable" star which stretches each of us into our success.
Ganga

This Dreamchild Lives in Every Song

2009-06-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

This Photoart is dedicated to my soulmate, Narayan who left this world very early in his adult life. I wanted a child with him more than anything. Now it seems so clear to me that all of the songs that lifted me out of grief over these past years are still being created out of our intense love for each other. We promised that we would always share this love. Every song that awakens through me is the Universe celebrating our Oneness over and over. We always knew that love would light the way.

Here are the full lyrics to the "Dreamchild" song

Have you ever had a dream that you whispered to the sky?
Have you ever wanted wings so that you could fly?
Just believe
It will happen
What wonders you will see as all your dreams are set free

Well I wanted some release from a lonely and heavy youth
Oh a little inner peace with the master of my truth
I believed it would happen
What wonders did I see
as all those chains began to fall from me.

Then I dreamed to find my love share my life with a special man
and a whisper from above said "believe you can"
So I believed it would happen
What wonder did I see
Well that man he found me

Oh believe in the power of your dreams
Life is seldom what it seems
Ask for all the glorious grace
that you may see your Vision face to face...

Then I dreamed a child would come
from the union of our love
just like a daughter or a son
from the light that shines above
and I believed it would happen
My vision was so strong
That child lives in every song

Oh believe in the power of your dreams
Life is seldom what it seems
Ask for all the glorious grace
that you may see your Vision face to face...

Have you ever had a dream that you whispered to the sky?
Have you ever wanted wings so that you could fly?
Just believe.
It will happen.
What wonders you will see as all your dreams are set free.

Ganga Fondan, 2009

Soon this song and others will be ready for you to hear online. May you be inspired to create wonders out of all those dreams still inside of your heart. I didn't know that I would ever feel this happy again. With the help of meditation on the Four Proclamations even singing my songs begins to feel like my dreams have been a part of something much bigger all along. Our individual consciousness is part of everything. The love for Narayan can still fulfill a much greater desire. Our Dreamchild still grows and gives joy.

Have an awesome day,
Ganga

Transcend the Illusion that We are Each Here Alone

2009-06-13T17:02:00.001-07:00

The thought experiments from my previous blog entries are leading me to ask some really significant questions. When I do the exercises, it always seems like so much more time has elapsed than what my watch is actually telling me. What is this relationship with time? Why does it appear to slow down and speed up? When we are visioning, where are we really?

After my experiment in the park today, I decided to go home and watch the movie "Kate and Leopold". Hmmmmmm to my surprise it was about Time Travel. Finding a flaw in the timespace continuum, the characters can be transported back and forth to the past and present. At one point, time is compared to a supersonic train where the world is "just blowing by". One line of the movie which captivates me is:

"...imagine if we could stop that train and get out, look around and see time for what it really is...a universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as color to a dog and as real and tangible as that chair you're sitting on. If we could see like that, I mean really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws in it as well as the form..."

Well now I was hooked into finding out what timespace continuum means. The easiest I can understand is that space(3 dimensional) and time (4th dimension?) are one continuum or arena of time and place. Rather than just measuring the variables to isolate a single point, this way of measuring actually locates an event happening between particles. (Huh?) I imagined it must be like stopping a movie in a certain place and freeze framing it. How can we measure Existence loaded with endless possible outcomes? Ok that was already alot for my brain to handle but then my eyes fell upon an experiment done in 1997 by Nicolas Gisin. He was a scientist greatly influenced by Einstein's experiments with measuring the location and momentum of two moving particles. In his experiment, Nicolas Gisin divided a single photon into two and had them travel away from each other in a fibre optics cable. Scanning the photons when they were 10km apart, he observed that what happened to one photon still affected what happened to the other. That is incredible!

So if particles as minute as photons can communicate with each other over long distances, what does that mean about life in general? About time? Everything is connected in Oneness. What any one of us does affects all of us because the particles within us have all been a part of this world since the beginning. This brings me back to the original task of timing the visioning exercises. Is there another time and space we reach into in the visioning process? Emotionally I feel so present in my imagination. How far does this Oneness reach? It feels so real. So much seems to be happening in such a short amount of time. I still have so much to discover.

The great explorer Albert Einstein found such humanity and compassion through his life long search for some of these answers. His findings and his influence continues to inspire us onward in discovering who we are and where we can go from here. This post is dedicated to him today. Remember his words:

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the “Universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest - A kind of Optical Illusion of his Consciousness. This delusion is a kind of a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."

-Albert Einstein

If you would like to try some of the "Ancient Secrets of Success" thought experiments, just listen to this audio clip by Mr. Tulshi Sen. His work is cutting edge in the field of Visioning and freedom of thought. His pioneering achievements in the field of business and the individual life focusses on release from dependency on conditions while strengthening the inner faculties of Self-Reliance.

( from www.tulshisen.com )